Habits can be productive - gym, good eating, sleep schedule,
studying - or destructive.
Interestingly, any habit, whether it is healthy
or destructive, creates a comfort zone for us - it is a behavior that we put on
auto pilot. It takes up time and space
and creates structure in our lives.
In order to change we need a good reason that makes a strong
argument - for us! We also have to be
ready to accept the disruption and emptiness that comes with the process of
change.
The old belief of overlaying a new habit on top of an old one
does not seem to work for humans.
To make a successful change, we need to first let go of the
old habit and create an empty space that the new one can then fill.
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An
opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...
THE KEY TO UNLOCKING HABITS
First recognize that a habit is by definition a
learned behavior that through repetition has created a strong neurological
pathway - give yourself credit for taking the challenge of unlocking and
erasing an established pattern! If you
expect it to be easy and free of pitfalls you are setting yourself up for
failure - expect a demanding and intriguing path.
Remember that habits create comfort - good and bad alike -
when we remove the habit we create uneasiness at first. The old comfort is gone and it takes awhile
before new pathways are strongly imbedded.
Give yourself lots of cheerleading and support.
Remember also that transitions are difficult
for humans. We tend to take one step
forward and a good few backwards as we go through this process. Acknowledge the difficulty and hang in there.
Identify several very strong and valid reasons
for making a change. Not someone else's reasons -
yours! You need to have these reasons as
anchors to help you through the process.
Expect and be ready for anger - from you! This is called resistance and probably will
come in the form of that Bully/Victim/Rebel triangle. You know, your internal Bully voice scolding you about
whatever it is you are trying to change, your answering internal Victim voice whining and claiming
incompetence, and the Rebel in your raising that famous middle finger… When this
dynamic starts, exaggerate it to the point of silliness and it will have no
power to stop you!
Learn to tolerate emptiness - it is part of
change. Breathe into the empty spaces
and pretend you are a renowned meditation master…
Celebrate change - allow yourself to experience the freedom that comes with release from
a negative habit!
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