Sunday, March 17, 2013


I guess the ‘package’ of invasive information necessary to even be considered to live in a co-op apartment in NYC should have clued me to the lurking dangers... 

And then there was the mandatory interview… 
The small torture chamber was rank with the sulfuric odor of perverted power that co-op boards enjoy.  

A police murder interrogation could not have been more brutal.  True, I wasn’t chained to a chair and I don’t think that there was a two-way mirror…

My tormentors seated me in the perfect ping-ping position, lobbing questions with the speed of torment (Oops!  I meant tournament) players.

“Who are your friends?  Do you listen to music?  Has your dog attended training?”

I mean give me a break!  What did they expect me to say?

“I have wild orgies, listen to ear shattering Metal and Hip-Hop, and about my dog, he might look like a fluffy poodle, but it’s really a disguise.  Underneath all that fluff lurks a vicious 200 pound Rottweiler.”

It takes a certain kind of person to ignore all the warning signs and lunge brazenly into the future?  New Yorkers are known for being brave…  Determined?  Try pig-headed!   

What do ya think?  Have any city stories to share?

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