Friday, June 27, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE

Although the chemical reaction in the brain that triggers fear responses (the Fight or Flight Response) is believed to be hard wired, it is interesting to note that many of the specific things that trigger these reactions vary from person to person. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_processing_in_the_brain

Recognizing this helps us realize that we do have some power over what triggers this response in us. 

In some way - a personal experience, something we heard, an image we saw - one experience or another, has entered our data bank as something that 'should' trigger this response. 

We have the ability, using our conscious and unconscious mind to remove the event from this category - sometimes an immediate change, sometimes a gradual shift.






DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

Make a list of the activities that make you nervous, this might include:
          Doctor visits
          Flying
          Taking exams
          Meeting new people

On a scale of 1-10 rank how important these activities are to you.  Is there a valid reason to do them?

Do you want to go ahead with this activity?

If yes:
Do you feel suffering should be an integral part of the experience?

If no:
Try the following exercise now and perhaps before the event in question…

Get in a comfortable safe place.
Begin breathing deeply and allow yourself to imagine the previously labeled event.
See it in your mind's eye and watch the event occur as if you were watching a movie.
Continue to breathe deeply.

Now imagine that you could take that same movie and make it miniature - really tiny!
As you do this imagine that it also slowly recedes until it is only a tiny dot in the distance…

Keep breathing deeply.
How do you feel now?




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Thursday, June 26, 2014

WHO ME? NERVOUS?



"I am so nervous," she said.  "I always get this way when I have to go to the doctor…"


 

"I'm so nervous," he said.  "I'm on my way to the airport… I always get this way when I fly…"



So, what are the common denominators that cause so many of us to have this reaction to two seemingly very different situations?

Think about it…

Who's in control?

What do ya say? 

How do you react to these situations and what would it take to lower that stress?




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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LOOK ME IN THE EYE…

It seems our 4 legged friends might indeed have the ability to read our minds - actually by picking up the cues - smells, sounds, body language and posture, that are often not even within our human spectrum of awareness.

What has led us to believe that we might have this same capacity?

Check this out:  Remember Mom or Dad looking you in the eye and saying, "I know exactly what you are thinking young man/lady!  You can't fool me!"

Could this possibly have given us a belief in the human ability to see into the minds of others?







DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...


CHECKING IT OUT

How many times were you sure you knew what someone was thinking only to be told - after the fact - that you were clueless?

We all have a tendency to think we 'get it' but…

Think back over this past day/week/month…how many times did you actually miss a beat by misinterpreting what the other person was thinking?

Unlike our 4 legged friends, we humans have been given the gift of words… and the ability to communicate verbally…

SOME MAGIC PHRASES FOR COMMUNICATING ARE:

"Did you mean…?"

"I think you said…?"

"Did I understand you correctly…?"

And the always useful -
"I feel…"










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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

MIND READING 101

Imagine eyeballing your dog - or cat for that matter - and thinking 'SIT!'

No words, no hand movements, just that thought inside your mind…

Now I know you all love your pets, but really, how many of them would sit?

Be honest, okay?




And yet…
And yet we are truly astounded when our families, friends and loved ones don't know what we are thinking …

"How come," we ask, "they didn't realize …"

What do ya say?
How many times have you been guilty of this one?




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Sunday, June 22, 2014

SUNDAY SMILES ~ HELL000O REBEL!


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Friday, June 20, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - OUCH 101


The belief that pain is necessary for learning - the no pain, no gain theory, often creates behaviors that are detrimental to our well being.

The nurse who pinches the child to obscure the pain of an injection needle is not only causing extra unnecessary pain but also creating distrust!  When people cause us pain 'for our own good' they are setting in motion a series of negative responses - including distrust, confusion and anger!

A theory of how pain works in our bodies and it's perception by our Central Nervous Systems - the Gate Control Theory is actually about substituting a more pleasurable sensation for a painful one by stimulating a different pathway that takes up the space of the painful sensation.   

'The Gate Control Theory was initially proposed in 1965 by Melzack and Wall based on the fact that small diameter nerve fibres carry pain stimuli through a 'gate mechanism' but larger diameter nerve fibres going through the same gate can inhibit the transmission of the smaller nerves carrying the pain signal.  
Chemicals released (endorphins) as a response to the pain stimuli also influence whether the gate is open or closed for the brain to receive the pain signal.  This lead to the theory that the pain signals can be interfered with by stimulating the periphery of the pain site or the appropriate signal-carrying nerves at the spinal cord. 
It is generally recognised that the 'Pain Gate' can be shut by stimulating nerves responsible for carrying the touch signal (mechaoreceptors) which enables the relief of pain through massage techniques, rubbing, and also the application of tens machines, wheat bags and ice packs.'  http://physioworks.com.au/FAQRetrieve.aspx?ID=30894




DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

DO WE REALLY NEED PAIN TO LEARN?

Think about some of your best learning experiences …sports activities, school learning, life experiences…

What were they?
What makes you choose them to put in your 'best' category?
Who was involved in the process?
What was the balance between pleasure and pain?
What type of learning experiences made a positive difference in your life?

How often did someone create pain 'for your own good'?
How much good did it actually do?

Think about some of those experiences… 
Now imagine you could talk to the person who caused you the pain…
What would you want to say to them?

A nice experiment is to take this imaginary dialog to the point where the other person actually apologizes to you for their misguided behavior…

If you are smiling now you know you got it!






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Thursday, June 19, 2014

OUCH!


Once upon a time, when kids got shots the nurse would pinch them really hard first!  The idea being that they would barely notice the shot…

Yeah, but…

Hard pinch…



Shot…
Hard pinch…
Shot…





Is there something nuts about this equation or is it just me?

How did we come up with the idea that one miserable pain would/should make another easier?


What do ya say?
Does this make any sense to you?




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The Human Dance "Beat the Bully!" Episode IV





Wednesday, June 18, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S MISSING?

The theory behind focusing on what's missing in our lives, instead of what we have might come from all the emphasis in our culture on pushing for more and better. 

From an early age we are encouraged to never be satisfied with what is in front of us, but rather constantly told we have the potential to do and be more.  We are often punished when we don't embrace this belief.  We get bad grades and get called 'lazy'.

While in theory encouraging children to perform to their best potential might sound like a no brainer, the focus on not being good enough permeates our belief system, often creating a sense of deprivation and bitterness.





DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...


HOW MANY 'ROTTEN APPLES' ARE YOU CARRYING?

How many times this week did you focus on what was missing from your life?

How did doing this make you feel?

Here's an interesting experiment:

Every time you focus on the negative spaces in your life -
          - the invitation you didn't get…
          - the date who never called back…
          - the people you helped - or gave gifts to - who didn't thank you…
          - the friend who forgot your birthday…

You get the idea - all of us CAN add to this list and backpack these dissatisfactions…

OR…

Each time one of these things happen you could remind yourself that (you think I am going to tell you to count your blessings right?  Nope!)...

Instead remind yourself what idiots those people are - and how much they've missed out on!

The idea here is that when others do these things we tend to fault ourselves and feel diminished.  

REALLY BAD THINKING!
'They' lost out - NOT YOU! 







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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

DOES ONE BAD APPLE HAVE TO SPOIL THE BUNCH?


What's this stuff about focusing on what we don't have instead of what we do?  What we don't get instead of what we do?


Remember being a kid on your birthday and being really bummed because you didn't get that one special gift you wanted?

Or being and adult on your birthday and…



What causes us to focus on what's missing instead of what we have?


What do ya say?
 Is this a formula for unhappiness or what?





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Friday, June 13, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CAN YOU REALLY CONTROL IT ALL?

Although difficult for us humans to really grasp, our ability to control all the variables that would make life safe for those we love is truly limited.   

No matter how hard we try there are always things out of our control.

This lack of total control tends to frighten us - and fear is the most predictable trigger for our inner Bully.

When something goes wrong we scold ourselves listing all the potential dangers we should have been on top of…

Not only does this behavior intensify our inability to handle what ever is going on, but it also has a tendency to create more obstacles for moving forward.








 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...



Think about a recent challenging situation you've gone through - something that affected you or someone you love.

1)  How did you respond? 

2)  Were you aware of an underlying fear?

3)  Was part of your fear concern that you'd miss a beat?

4)  Did you believe that you could make everything okay if only

5)  Did you bully yourself or the other person?  (Clue:  did you use the words 'SHOULD, SHOULD HAVE?)








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