BEEN THERE? DONE THAT?

How many times have you walked down the same street expecting to see totally different views?

How often have you created the same interactions expecting totally different results?

Not too logical, right?

And yet we seem to be stuck in this pattern of behavior. 

Particularly striking is the way we react when we get those truly predictable results:  Surprised!

Want some examples?

Choosing the same types of people to get involved with.

Using trigger words and being surprised when we trigger the same reaction those words triggered last time we used them.

Ignoring negative warning signs and being surprised when the negative occurs…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

LOOK FOR PREDICTABLE!

Make a list of some of the repetitions in your life that make you unhappy, include:

Specific types of interactions with people

Personality types that you get involved with

Asking for help from people who can't give it

Expecting totally different reactions from people than their usual

Using 'trigger' words with people with a 'hair trigger'

What happens as you explore this?

WHO SET YOU UP?

Ever find yourself getting the same results - yeah negative ones - again and again?

You know:  relationships, parental interactions, job stuff, even things like diet and exercise…

Ever stop to think maybe you're being set up?

Nope not by the other guy!

Yep.  By your very own self.

What do ya say?

Impossible?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WAIT FOR IT!

Have you ever stayed up all night worrying about an impending event?

Does it turn out to be as difficult as you anticipated?

Was the time spent worrying commensurate with the event itself?

It seems to be part of our human nature to worry.

Perhaps we believe that the internal 'chemical' reactions that we trigger help us with problem solving?

Maybe that energy could be better focused!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

FOCUS THAT ENERGY!

If you think about worrying/stressing as a form of energy, you open the door to re-focusing!

TRY THIS EASY FORMULA:

1)  Describe the worst case scenario of the event you are worried about… Go into as much detail as possible.  Perhaps even exaggerate a little…

2)  Now describe the best case scenario, again with lots of detail and exaggeration!

3)  Finally, give yourself a moment to reflect and then come up with the most likely end result.

What happens as you go through this exercise?

ANTICIPATORY STRESS…

'Watch out for…'

'Did you think about…'

'Did you remember that tomorrow…'

Well intentioned words and warnings.

But

What if tomorrow never comes?

Partly kidding, but think about it.  

All that build up and time spent…

What do ya say?  Ever catch yourself doing this one?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?

We often can't control what comes our way.  We try but some things are truly out of our hands.

When we are confronted with these 'unwanted' situations - illness, injury, loss - how we react emotionally determines a lot about our 'take away'.

If we allow every situation to be a learning experience life can be full of gain!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS YOU'VE EXPERIENCED…

How did you react?

Did you bully yourself?

Scold yourself about what happened?

Or

Did you find ways to learn from and explore your reactions?

Can you allow yourself to find beauty, harmony and balance even in hard times?

CHOOSE HOW YOU FEEL?

Two people were telling me pretty similar stories…

One of them was clearly suffering and in emotional agony about their situation.

The other person was hopeful and in a state of learning and evolving…

Hmmm.  Ever hear this one:

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."  

- Viktor Frankl

What do ya say?  Can you get this?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DROP IT!

Someplace along the path of our evolution we got addicted to the concept of 'should'.

It's a remarkable way of thinking that actually takes us out of the present moment into either the past or the future… and takes us there with recriminations and that pervasive sound of bullying!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CHECK OUT THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT 'SHOULD':         

Does it really serve you as a useful tool?  For yourself?  For others?

What does it do for you?

Where did you learn to use this?

How do you feel after you 'should' yourself?

How do you feel after you 'should' someone else?

                                                                                                         

SHOULD NOT!

Should…should…should…should…

I should do…

I should have done…

I should feel…

I shouldn't feel…

YIKES!

What do ya say?

Does this noise make sense to you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TCOY*

*Taking care of yourself…

When expectations are not in line with reality, we suffer!

This is a no-brainer.

In order not to set yourself up in this way, it's important to pay attention to who you are dealing with and what they can actually give you in any particular moment.

Sometimes we get confused because we see someone give something to someone else and assume that it is there for us also.

Or,they actually have given it to us before, but don't do it now…

All of this requires awareness on our part- rememebering that there is BIG difference between what we desire and what someone else may be capable of providing!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

'TCOY' STRATEGIES

Understand who the other person is and what they can actually offer in this moment.

This might be different then what they give someone else or have given you in the past.

Pay attention to this moment in time.  What do you need right now and who might be able to help you with it?

Watch out for anger - yours and other peoples.  Leaving yourself open to jabs from others - or jabbing them - because you want something you are not getting is not okay!

Find a way to ask for what you need - indirect is okay only if the message is getting through.

YOU CAN'T GET WATER FROM…

How many times have you been hurt and disappointed because someone let you down?

Maybe they forgot your birthday?

Or chattered on about wonderful things in their lives at a time you were barely making it?

How about going into great detail about a minor ailment at a time you or a loved one were dealing with real suffering?

What do ya say?

How do you take care of yourself with this one?

Any ideas?