Friday, July 21, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SOMETIMES IT'S FEAR

We often fall into a victim state when bad things happen.

It's an easy default position and often indicates our anger about feeling out of control.

BUT

Sometimes it is also a 'cover' for fear about what is happening that is causing us to feel like a victim.



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

When you feel like a victim - and yes - sooner or later we all do feel this way - try the following:

1)  Make a list of 3 things about what is going on that makes you angry.
Imagine stomping and yelling and kicking and throwing a good sized fit as a way to dispel some of that anger.

2)  Now ask yourself what you might be frightened about in the current situation.
Make a list of these fears.

3)  Finally, create a soothing inner voice that walks you through these fears and promises to stand by you with inner support!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            




Thursday, July 20, 2017

IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY

"It's really NOT FAIR!"
He moaned and I could almost imagine him stamping his foot…

He continued as his voice got louder.
"Look at all the bad things that happen to me!"


"Really, don't I deserve better?  I mean I try to do everything right…"

AAOOO!




What do ya say?  Ever hear this one?
Recognize this guy?  
Who?  You?


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - FAKE IT OR MAKE IT?

There's a great story about Marilyn Monroe - maybe true…

According to this one she was walking down a city street with a friend and of course the attention she got was non-stop. 

Supposedly her friend asked Marilyn how she could tolerate the constant focus.

So - the tale goes - Marilyn showed her…

The famous star changed her walk, her attitude, her get-up … and this time they walked down the street in anonymity…

It's interesting for us to think about the message we beam out into the world… and the responses we get back!


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TAKE A PAGE OUT OF THE MM PLAYBOOK

How would you describe the image - and consequent message - you put out in the world?
As an experiment 'try on' the opposite persona… either in reality or fantasy.

What happens when you do this?
How do others respond?
How do you feel?

Might you want to include some elements of this alter ego into your daily routine?

Try this as an experiment and watch the results.
What does it tell you - about yourself?  About them?






Tuesday, July 18, 2017

CAN YOU PULL IT OFF?

Here's one of those great learning stories:

"I make up words all the time," the man winked as he told me this one.

"I do it in Spanish, English, whatever," he grinned, "and I notice that as long as I say my new-fangled words with impunity and authority, people look at me with admiration and usually tell me how smart am!"


What do ya say?

Do you get the moral of this one?

About him?  About them?



Friday, July 14, 2017

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Ever notice what happens when you take that extra minute, give that extra dollar, notice someone's something new?

Here's a great story about this one…

As the woman was getting out of her Uber ride, the driver said:  "Ma'am I just want to tell you that you have the kind of personality that lights up a day!"



"Well, you know," she smiled as she told the story, "he really lit up my day!  What goes around and all that…"

What do ya say?
You get this, right?

Practice much?






Wednesday, July 12, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - KISMIF!

Bet you wondered what that KISMIF thing is?
Thought it was a typo?
Nope.

This is a transformative mantra that can turn your world around!
'KEEP IT SIMPLE   MAKE IT FUN!'

How is it that we got the distorted view of life believing that the word 'work' and the concept of 'fun' should be separate?
Not!

Once upon a time in a land far,far away someone was ironing a shirt and… singing!
Yes, singing and smiling and maybe adding a little dance step in here and there.

Whoa!  What a strange sight…

When questioned she said: 
"All life is a joyful meditation!"
What a concept!


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

DANCE TO THE MUSIC!

Try this:
See if you can tune into the rhythm, the beat, the giggle in everything you do!

Washing dishes?  Feel the water, see the shine, the movement…
Ever watch the spin cycle on the clothes dryer?  Whee!
Sweeping the floor?  Add a chachacha!
Paperwork?  Get the visual rush of marking items off your list…

AND NO MATTER WHAT - LET GO OF PERFECT! 







Tuesday, July 11, 2017

UGH!

I hate…

Cleaning, paper work, paying bills, doing laundry, taking a shower, exercising, dieting…

What do ya say?

What's on your 'ugh' list?

Friday, July 7, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GET REAL!

We like to give everyone a chance, the benefit of the doubt, we like to be forgiving, we like to be optimistic…

BUT...

If we don't pay attention to the reality around us, we create stress, disappointment and pain - for ourselves!



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SEE IT, SAY IT!

Try this experiment:

1)  Think about some of the repetitive behavior in others that has caused you pain.
2)  Take away the 'bad' label from this behavior in order to view it objectively.
3)  Ask yourself if dealing with this would be as difficult if you expected it and recognized that it 'belonged' to the other person.
4)  Now, think about how you could take care of yourself with this new information.




Thursday, July 6, 2017

STRESS REDUCTION 101

Remember those wonderful 'Peanuts' cartoons?

Remember how we all couldn't believe that good 'ole Charlie Brown was once again shocked when Lucy pulled away the football at the last minute as he went careening past?


What do ya say?
Don't remember?
Please!  Check it out!


Tuesday, July 4, 2017

CELEBRATION!



'Freedom is the likelihood of questioning, the likelihood of committing an error, the likelihood of looking and testing, the likelihood of saying No to any authority–literary, creative, logical, religious, social and even political.'
                                                      Ignazio Silone

                 CELEBRATE IT!



Friday, June 30, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MOVE IT!

'Position' has an important role in our interaction with others.

We have 'position' in our work and family hierarchy that determines a lot of our behavior.

'Position' also relates to how we place ourselves physically in relation to those around us.


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SHAKE IT UP!
You can have some fun with this one!

Try changing your habitual seat at the table or in a classroom…
Experiment with distance when having a conversation.

How does changing your location affect and impact your experience?

How does it impact your listening skills?

What other things do you notice as you explore your position in any given environment?








Thursday, June 29, 2017

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION

In advertising there's lots of talk about the importance and value of positioning...

Ever pay attention to your personal positioning?
Notice how where you sit in a room or at a table affects your interactions?



How about how close or far you are to another person during a conversation?



What do ya say?
How much attention do you pay to this one?




Wednesday, June 28, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SO WHAT'S THE JOKE?

The joke is about control.

Big picture, control is a total illusion!
Small scale:  Sure.

You can control the mess in your home, your paperwork, what you ingest…

You can not control the mess other people make, that random trip and fall, the crash, earthquake, death…

There is reality and there is illusion.
Mixing them up creates serious stress, pain and suffering.


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SEPARATE WHAT YOU CAN FROM WHAT YOU CAN'T!

Ask yourself how many times this past week you scolded yourself about something that actually was out of your control.

How do you think you would have felt if you let go of that illusion of being able to control it, rolled your eyes and laughed instead of shaking your finger?











Tuesday, June 27, 2017

MAN PLANS AND GOD LAUGHS

Hey, you've heard this one, right?
A truly deep teaching on acceptance…
But…

It has always seemed a little dark.
So…


What if we join in the laughter and get the joke?

What do ya say?
Do you get it?
Laugh much?



Friday, June 23, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CREATING CHANGE

When we give ourselves mandates - the "you have to's" and "you shoulds" we are almost always creating an internal push/pull!   

Our internal rebel voice smacks up against that finger shaking bully voice and the struggle is on!

A more effective way to create change is to bypass that struggle by focused awareness - tuning into what we are trying to shift, creating strong motivation and feeling and acknowledging the changes as they happen!


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

5 STEPS FOR CREATING COMPLIANCE

1)  Awareness (I want, I need)
2)  Observation and more awareness (I am seeing it)
3)  Attentiveness (I am watching it)
4)  Feeling the shifts (I am changing)
5)  Recognizing and applauding change!




Thursday, June 22, 2017

MANDATES

"So," she said, "I realized how I was getting myself in trouble… and I plan to change it immediately!"

Whoops!

Why whoops?
Doesn't changing non-productive behavior ASAP sound like a good idea?


Think about the times you've tried this strategy…


What do ya say?

Did it really work?
For how long?






Wednesday, June 21, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MEMORIES…

It's interesting to think about how memory works and the function it plays in our lives.

It's obviously part of the way we learn. 

Our memory allows us to avoid danger (think: that ubiquitous story of the child burning its finger on something hot and not doing that again.)

But, what happens when we re-shape past reality to fit current beliefs? 

And even more importantly, what happens to current reality when we squeeze it to fit those past beliefs?


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

THE DANGER OF DISTORTION

Think about some of the stories you tell yourself about the past.
          Stories about who you were…
          Stories about how others perceived you…
          Stories about your friends and family…

What did you take away from those stories that continues to impact your current reality and beliefs?

Do you want to hold onto these stories… or maybe let them go?







Tuesday, June 20, 2017

RETROGRADE MEMORY

'Those were the best years of my life…'

'We were so close…'

'I always thought you were wonderful…'


HAH!

Are you kidding me?

Make it NOW!
Or…
Let it go!




What do ya say?

Do you get this one?



Friday, June 16, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - ENABLED!

No one can diminish us if we acknowledge the limitations they are pointing out - especially if we get there first!

By outing ourselves we actually become more powerful by:
1)  Stealing our 'opponents' thunder
2)  Showing our courage
3)  Mitigating the sting of the limitation and actually changing it into a strength by bringing it into the light

This is not at all the same as portraying ourselves as victims but rather as victors!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT LIMITATIONS DO YOU HAVE?

If you said 'none' you fail the 'human' test!

Are you:
Elderly?
Young?
Dyslexic?
On that famous Autism spectrum?
Dealing with a physical challenge?
A mental challenge?

You get the drift of this, right?  Do you actually know anyone who doesn't have limitations?

Wouldn't life feel easier if we just called it like it is and moved on?