SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - FEEL IT AND HEAL IT!

Giving yourself permission to heal is not about erasing feelings, it's about moving through them.

Allowing yourself to feel helps you:

Move through difficult situations past and present

Get over whatever happened

Move on by releasing the pain, and finally,

Heal

In order to be emotionally healthy, we don't deny our feelings, but we also don't hold onto them.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1)  Sometimes when we're stuck it's because we are blocking feelings.

2)  Sometimes deep breathing helps us get in touch with what we are feeling.

3)  Sometimes just making a sound (aargh! Haha!) allows us to release stuck feelings.

4)  Sometimes imaginary dialogs allow us to get in touch with our feelings and release them.

SHOULD NOT!

'I shouldn't feel_________' you say.

(Fill in the blank. Could be:  Angry, sad, depressed, unhappy, even relieved…)

'Why not?'

You answer:

'I have no reason to feel…'

'They told me I shouldn't feel…'

'Other people don't feel…'

What do ya say?

You get how ridiculous this is, right?

Ever do it to yourself?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GOT REALITY?

Are your expectations in touch with reality?

We often link our expectations to our desires rather than to reality…

Ever catch yourself talking to a self-absorbed person and expecting them to listen to you?

How about trying to reason with a two year old throwing a temper tantrum?

And how often have your feelings been hurt because a jealous parent or sibling treats you in a dismissive way?

Ever hear:  'Wishes won't wash dishes!'?

The more you allow yourself to see things as they actually are, the less pain you will experience!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

GET REAL!

Think about the people around you…

How do they see you?

How do they treat you?

Is it possible to change their attitude towards you?

How reality based is your attitude towards them?

LIGHTENING STRIKES

"… there was a list of things you could not argue with: lightening, lions, black mambas, crocodiles…"

  -The House of Unexpected Sisters

This one really caught my attention!

Think about it.                                             

There truly are things we can not fight … and it's really important to know the ones that we can push back on!

What do ya say?  You get this, right?

REINFORCING NEGATIVES…

We seem to need to 'memorialize' the messages we get early in life.  Whether we reject them or embrace them we are working from an old - and usually defective - script.

Think about it.

The people - parents, teachers, even older siblings - who gave you many of the beliefs about yourself were powerful - in your eyes - and the structure of power dictated their dominance over you. 

But if you look back along that alleyway of time - if you really look - can you see their fallibility?

And perhaps, from this perspective, realize that their messages were more about them than about you!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

UNHOOKING NEGATIVE MESSAGES

Ask yourself:

What do you get by reinforcing these old messages?

What have you done to actually strengthen in these messages?

What would happen if you gave up these beliefs?

LOCKING IT IN

"I'm the outsider in this family", he complained.

"No one really thinks about me …"

What made this so fascinating was watching the way he actually put himself in this position - you know, not returning phone calls, ignoring invitations, not showing up when there were all inclusive family gatherings…

Really interesting to watch…

He had a belief - and worked really hard to cement it in!

What do ya say?

Ever catch yourself doing things like this?  Ever wonder what it's about?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TIME OUT

You know that phrase ' wasting time'? What does it really mean?

Remember Einstein saying he figured out his theory of relativity by spacing out and staring out the window?

Who is to say how we should 'use' our time?

In our culture we often label years as young or old and attach symptoms to the labels…

Good?  Bad?

Doesn't it make more sense to value the moments we are given?

Taking advantage of the moments - There are no guarantees - we have N-O-W and that's the only guanantee…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

STOP AND FEEL IT!

Stop the clock a few times during your day and ask yourself:  'How am I using my time?'

IT'S ABOUT TIME…

'The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'    Albert Einstein

What do ya say?

Tomorrow we can go cognitive on this one, but you get it, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE POWER OF BELIEF

More and more we are learning about how intention, belief and 'positive thinking' affect our bodies.

It's not just hocus pocus!

We can now actually measure brain activity and calibrate different aspects of emotional mood and its connection to healing. 

We have more of an understanding of how religion, chants, meditation and symbols can actually impact our well being and help us move from the pain of hopelessness into the healthier realm of hope!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT DO YOU USE TO FOCUS YOUR INTENTION?

When you feel lost, powerless and hopeless, when you find yourself in that ' it's not fair' space, when you've done all the 'right' things but still are not getting the response you want…

Look for something larger than yourself

Focus on beauty

Breathe

Listen to music that takes you out of the 'here and now'

Try using mantras, magical symbols, good luck charms, protective amulets…

ABRACADABRA

Since the beginning of human time it seems that we have used symbols, talismans, and charms for…

Helping us focus intentions

Healing

Luck

Protection

What do ya say?

Do you make fun of these things or can you see a way they might actually be value added?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LET IT GO!

In a strange way we've come to glorify stress - it means we are highly productive, right?

We push ourselves to achieve and feel embarrassed about 'low performance'. 

Until the doctor starts talking about blood pressure medication!

Ever hear those ads that claim everybody is on meds?  Ever wonder if this makes any sense?

If you observe other animals - especially those who have not been over 'civilized', it's pretty amazing to watch their rhythms of action and rest.

Each of us needs to find our healthy rhythm.  It's in us.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

REMOVING OBSTACLES TO BALANCE

STRESS CREATION: THE INTERNAL STEPS

(Beliefs we learn, internalize, and play out in our heads)

Step one: Our BULLY voice

'You are not doing enough!  Other people do better!  Try harder!'

Step 2: Our VICTIM response

'It is too stressful…I can't … I'm worthless.. . I feel terrible'

Step 3: Our reactive REBEL

"I'll show you!  I won't do anything!  You can't make me!"

CHA CHA CHA  TWIST AND TURN  REPEAT...

AARG!

Now take a deep breath and think about releasing yourself from this churning - What do you imagine you might feel?

  

PEACE, LOVE AND…STRESS REDUCTION

"You can't be late until you get there… and then, no problem, you're there!" - Professor Patrick Gallagher, GWU, 1960's.

Peace, love, gurus and all that…

But

We are still giving the same messages today, only we call it stress reduction and it tends to come with a little more scolding!

What do ya say? You get this one, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HOW DO YOU SAY THAT?

We humans use verbal language to communicate with each other. Elementary, right?

But think about it…

One modality - verbal- is responsible for transferring so much information and despite this how many of us can actually claim to be good communicators?

If we were really experts at this mode of information transmittal, think about how much daily confusion and misunderstanding might actually be nonexistent?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR WORDS

We tend to take our communication skills for granted…

Think back over the last 2 weeks:

*How many times were you really clear about what you wanted and why you wanted it?

*How many times did you observe the person you were talking with to see if they really understood what you were telling them?

*How often did you allow yourself to clarify your message?