Friday, December 15, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?

Sometimes we react negatively to the very behavior in others that we deny in ourselves - perhaps those very things that we were scolded for by our parents?

Sometimes we react negatively because our own buttons are being pushed and we feel disrespected or insulted - taking some one else's way of acting as a personal reflection on us.



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about the things that annoy you in other people.

How do these behaviors actually affect you?
What do they 'make you' feel?

If you were able to change your own response what do you think might happen?





Thursday, December 14, 2017

A WEE BIT OF … PROJECTION?

"Ugh!" he said.
"I can not stand her!  She is such a know it all!"

Interesting, since that's exactly what people say about him…

And here's another one:

This person was telling a story in great detail about a visit with her sister who drove her crazy by telling stories in great detail.
Ah huh.


What do ya say?


Ever notice how we seem to particularly hate things that remind us of…ourselves?



Wednesday, December 13, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SINGING THAT SAME OLD SONG

When something bad happens why do we dig ourselves in deeper by remembering old insults instead of looking for positive counter balance?

It's as if we get caught on a particular tune or sound bite and keep replaying it, adding to the musical score with each and every negative moment we can remember!

"And then," we remind ourselves, "in the first grade…"

Sound ludicrous?

Certainly self destructive and useless!


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TRY THIS EASY FIX:

The next time you catch yourself playing this repetitive tune, exaggerate it!  Really get into the sound, energy and movement that goes along with this listing of remembered suffering!

What happens as you do this?
Remember, really exaggerate!




Tuesday, December 12, 2017

DIGGING A DEEP HOLE

Ever notice how when you have a bad interaction with someone you think about all the bad interactions you've ever had?
Or…



When someone treats you disrespectfully you think about all those other times…

What do ya say?


Ever wonder why we pile on when we're already hurting?




Friday, December 8, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - 'ASSISTANCE'

In our early years we are almost mandated to be in supportive environments and then suddenly we are out in the world with all those underlying structures removed.

We have a tendency to look at 'therapy' as being connected to problems and weakness. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we had structured support throughout our lives and not just at the beginning and end?


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Imagine that you could create your own 'assisted living' set up regardless of your current age…

What would it look like?
What steps can you take to bring more of the support into your life?







Thursday, December 7, 2017

WHAT A CONCEPT!

We walked in and looked around.

All sorts of classes, a lounge and cafeteria, people hanging out with buddies, gossip, a strong sense of community, music, dancing, a great library…

Where were we?
A University?


Nope!  A retirement community!

What do ya say?
What a wonderful continuing life concept, right?







Wednesday, December 6, 2017

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IT IS WHAT IT IS!

On the one hand we don't want to be rigid and deny the possibility of change…
But

Observing the same behavior again and again and expecting a different outcome doesn't make sense either!

There are enough warnings about this type of thinking in our folktales - (remember the Three Little Pigs and the Grasshopper and the Ants and even those Three Monkeys) - to highlight this common flaw in our cognitive processing.

Perhaps our desire to see what we want, supersedes our ability to see the obvious?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SAVING EMOTIONAL WEAR AND TEAR…

Think about the times you said: 
'I can't believe' talking about something that had happened many times before… 
How about all those times you found yourself outraged by behavior that really was totally predictable?

How do you think you would feel and react if you allowed yourself to expect that predictable behavior?

Would it make life easier for you?