Wednesday, October 22, 2014

SAY WHAT?

"What do you mean 'internal voices'?" he asked.  
"Are you saying I'm nuts, or what?"

"I don't have 'voices' inside of me… do I?" he looked at me questioningly.

"And if I do," he demanded, "you want to tell me how they got there?

And what are they talking about, anyway?"



What do ya say?

Can you identify your inner voices?





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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TRANSFORMING RESISTANCE!


 (OOPS!  THIS WAS THE BACKEND OF THURSDAY'S POST - "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!"  I BET YOU WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED...)

So, what is the difference between stubborn, determined and driven?

One way of looking at it is that 'stubborn' is about resistance, using your energy to pull against something.  

It is the hallmark of our internal Rebel who constantly proclaims:  "No, I won't!"  often regardless of the consequences.

'Determined' connotes desire - "I will accomplish what I want!"

And finally…

'Driven' creates a picture of the inimical internal Bully chasing behind us with a whip yelling:  "You have to, or else!"

 

 


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

TWO EASY AND FUN STEPS TO TRANSFORM RESISTANCE

1)  AWARENESS - Check out who is there.

Is it your stubborn inner Rebel?  "No, I won't!"

Your pushy, driven Bully?  "You have to!"
or
Your centered, determined inner Ally?  "I want to and I can!"


2)  USE YOUR IMAGINATION - Talk to each of these parts of you. 

What would you like to say to your inner Rebel, that master of resistance?  And just as importantly what is that part of you saying to you?

And now for your Bully voice.  This part of us is really insidious.  It pretends to only be pushing us in our very best interest…
Think about that one!  Imagine you are walking down the street and someone sneaks up from behind you and gives you a really hard push… Hmmm…

And finally start creating and strengthening your Ally voice.  This is the 'Yes, you can!' part of you.  

Ever wish someone saw you exactly as you are - and believed in you anyhow?




check out our relaxation mini-meditations at 

WWW.THEHUMANDANCE.COM


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?


Three words:  stubborn, determined, driven…

Do they mean the same thing?

Stubborn is bad, right?
Determined is good, isn't it?

And driven, well, we seem to save that one for people on the maniac fringe, you know, politicians and Nobel Prize winners…



What do ya say?


Anybody ever label you with one of these words?

Was it a compliment?









check out our relaxation mini-meditations at 
WWW.THEHUMANDANCE.COM



SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TELL IT LIKE IT IS!

We seem to be most 'at home' with those we can label as members of our 'tribe'... 

This means they have similar characteristics - background, age group and so on.  This probably served a survival function in our early human days…these were the folks least likely to cook us for dinner…

We appear to have held onto the need to see those we associate with as similar to ourselves - no matter what the evidence indicates.

So, isn't it nice to think everyone is just like you? 
Well, no - not nice to them or to you! 

As counter-intuitive as it may sometimes seem, seeing people for who they really are is actually a kindness. 

None of us likes feeling that we are disappointing others - and no one likes being disillusioned, but when we don't see others clearly we are constantly disappointed with the outcomes of our interactions. 
  




DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

TRAINING YOUR INNER EYE TO PERCEIVE DIFFERENCES

If we assume that everyone is coming from the same  - values, needs, personality, history - we are doomed to misunderstand their behavior! 

Check out the following 4 steps to help your inner eye perceive differences:

LISTEN to their words and stories.  What are they telling you?  What are the underlying messages about who they are?

WATCH how they interact with others.  Don't 'excuse' (ie. 'erase') behavior that is different than yours.

REGISTER the impact of their actions on others.  What is this telling you?

COMPARE with honesty their values with yours. 





  

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

TWISTED EXPECTATIONS…

"It got me really angry!" he stated categorically.
"I know that guy was trying to take advantage of me!"

And then there was this lady who said:

"My feelings are so hurt!  After everything I've done for her she was so stingy with me!"

What's the common denominator?

Both of these people expected other people to be just like them!


Yeah, the first guy was a person who always tried to get his way and the lady was indeed a very generous soul, but they both got busted by the same flaw …

 
They really did think everyone was just like them!



What do ya say?

Does this one fit for you?
Maybe… a little bit?


check out our down-loadable relaxation mini-meditations at 

WWW.THEHUMANDANCE.COM


Friday, October 10, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SWIM LESSONS…

A lot of what we experience emotionally is clearly connected to our expectations.
The more we are able to keep our expectations realistic the less 'add on' pain we create!

And the less we assume that others' actions are our 'fault' - a reflection of who we are and what we have done - the less we add to the difficulties of life!




  
DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

We all experience those times when it feels like we are swimming upstream - it's just another part of life!

Bullying yourself is the most counter-productive way to deal with these times …

Instead:

Find your laughter…

          your compassion…

          down-grade the importance of perfection…

          acknowledge and recognize that stumbling is part of life!






And check out our down-loadable relaxation mini-meditations at 
  


Thursday, October 9, 2014

SWIMMING UPSTREAM…


"Sometimes," he complained, "I feel like one of those battered, grey salmon getting bashed against the rocks as I navigate my way through life…"


Slightly dramatic, perhaps, but you know what he's talking about, right?

That feeling, or maybe, actual experience, of banging into one impediment after another as we try to accomplish what originally seemed like a simple task…



What do ya say?

What keeps you swimming?


And check out our down-loadable relaxation mini-meditations at 
WWW.THEHUMANDANCE.COM