Friday, April 29, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MAJOR POWER OUTAGE - PLEASE!

Of course, you can set personal boundaries and you can say 'no' or 'yes'.

You can step backwards or forward.

Yes, you do have control - over YOUR own behavior - and the sooner you see this one for what it is the better!

It's crucial not to get stuck in that slurpy quicksand of thinking it's all about you - way too much distorted power!



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about a time in your childhood when someone else's behavior caused you pain and you got the 3rd degree about your role.

Did you hear things like:
"You must have done something to cause it!  What did you do?!"

Even though you weren't the 'perp' somehow the message was that it was your fault…

Now, think about a recent time when something happened that felt bad to you and you used that same scolding parental voice on yourself, asking, "What did I do?! I must have done something to cause this?"

Interesting, right?

Now, re-imagine both events - past and present - and this time create a new voice.  
It might say something like:  "Ugh!  Sorry that happened to you!  I know it felt awful - but you didn't do it!"

How does this replay feel?






Thursday, April 28, 2016

NO! I TOLD YOU! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

So, here we go again.
Yeah.  I know we've been here before…

But really.
This is such a big one.

OTHER'S PEOPLE BEHAVIOR IS NOT ABOUT YOU!



If they are nice, that's their M.O.!
Rotten - yup - the same! Them…

No matter how hard you try you really can't control that river!

What do ya say?

Can you see how much simpler life could be?


Wednesday, April 27, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GOING FOR 'C'

Of course, there are areas of our lives where 'C' doesn't make it…

If you are performing brain surgery we all hope you are aiming for A+!

But, but, but…

How did we get stuck thinking that everything needed that same standard of achievement?

If you guessed 'school' you're probably on a good track.

Unfortunately, we usually aren't taught that different degrees of effort - and achievement - make sense for different tasks!

Have you ever found yourself stressing about the perfect wording for an email response - to a friend?
Yikes!


  
DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about the amount of time you spend on different tasks…
If you were an efficiency expert how would you rate your time strategy?

Do you find yourself putting off simple tasks because you don't have enough time to do a 'thorough' job?

Do you need to set aside a whole block of time in order to do that perfect job or do you let yourself do bits and pieces as you go?

Think about tasks that you struggle with doing… might these be examples of things where you demand perfection?

As an experiment: For one day give yourself permission to do things half-way.  Remember, this is just an experiment so breathe deeply and have some fun with it…

What happens as you do this?  Learn anything interesting?






Tuesday, April 26, 2016

GOOD ENOUGH - WHAT A CONCEPT!

She was really struggling to get things done.
See, the preparation was crucial.

Remember that old saw: measure 3 times, cut once?

Well, didn't that go for everything?
Measure, plan, figure it out…

Sure it kind of put off the execution - but once she finally did get to it, well it would be really fine - perfect actually!


What do ya say?
Ever get stuck in the perfection trap?






Thursday, April 21, 2016

GOOD DOG!

"I've been working really hard," he/she announced.

"And I deserve a REWARD!"
Right…

I'm sure we all know what comes next…


CONSUMPTION!
Lots of:

Unhealthy food
Alcohol
Expensive trinkets

Well, you know the list…

What do ya say?
How do 'bad for you things' get transformed into 'goodies'?



Wednesday, April 20, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - JEALOUS, MUCH?

Jealousy, like many of our feelings, is on the 'bad' list.

We are exhorted not to feel it - and immediately find ourselves in a head on crash between what is actual and what is 'should'!

We feel jealous because we are human.  Would life be easier if this feeling were never triggered in us?

Sure.

But it is, and like all those other 'negative' feelings, the easiest way not to suffer is to acknowledge it. 

This opens the door to working through the experience and moving on!

  
  
DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WORKING THROUGH JEALOUS FEELINGS?

1)  Acknowledge what you feel!  It's not terrible - just human!

2)  Ask yourself what's behind this feeling you are having?  Describe the situation to yourself as if you were a reporter telling a story.

3)  Make a list of some of the different times in your life you have experienced this.  How far back can you go?

4)  Jealousy is based on a belief that what is available is limited.  Who gave you that belief?  Often, these things start in early childhood with siblings…

5)  Imagine rewriting those early experiences as if 'abundance' was the underlying principle…



Tuesday, April 19, 2016

NOPE! NOT ME! NEVER…


"If you look at it honestly," she said, "jealousy is the most natural of human feelings…"

Hmmm…

"Well," she continued, " its defined as being 'worried that someone is trying to take what you have - the feeling that something you possess is being threatened, right?"



"And seriously, how many of us can possibly say we've never, ever had THAT experience?"





      What do ya say? 
Ever been there?