Thursday, August 17, 2017


The man obviously needed help.
He was handicapped, in pain and depressed.

"My niece offered to come and help me," he said.

"Oh, that's great!" I replied.  "When is she coming?"

"She's not!" he replied emphatically.
"I told her not to come.  I really don't like asking people for help!"

Yikes!  A really painful example of our distorted belief in the high value of self sufficiency!

So, I told him a story…

It was winter and I was crossing the heavily snow laden street very cautiously. 

An elderly gentleman approached me.
"May I help you across?" he asked, offering me his arm.

After we safely reached the other side of the street his face lit up as he wished me a good day.

What do ya say?

Which of us do you think benefited most?

Tuesday, August 15, 2017


What do Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, an FBI profiler, and a fortune teller have in common?

Magic?  Intuition?  Forensic clues…
Maybe all of the above, but if you guessed pattern recognition, you're on the right page.

The fictional and elderly Miss Marple astounded people by always sussing out the perp.

When asked how she did it, her answer was always the same.

"Well" she would respond, "they reminded me of (so and so).'

You see, she recognized the pattern of behavior.

What do ya say?

You get what this has to do with us mere mortals and our daily lives, right?

Friday, August 11, 2017


Wouldn't it be wonderful if along with the three R's we also taught 'Human Interaction' in our schools?

Imagine if, from the first day of school, you learned how to communicate in the optimal way with other humans, how to deal with feelings - yours and those of parents, teachers and peers?

Imagine learning about anger and sadness and depression and…

Can you imagine how much easier life would be if 'Life Skills' was part of our ongoing curriculum?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…


There has been lots of interesting work with the human brain and re-learning, so as a really fascinating mental exercise try this imaginary game:

Imagine that all the schools you attended from day 1 actually did have a program dedicated to teaching children life skills…

Develop your idea of a model program.
What would it include?
Now imagine that you get the benefit of this program…

Walk yourself through it - the more detail you go into with this the more current impact you might be able to create…

Think back through your life.  What are some of the experiences that might have felt different with this upgraded skill set?

What happens as you move through this adventure? 

Thursday, August 10, 2017


We used to call man 'the toolmaker'.  

It was a big part of what made our prehistoric ancestors unique, right?

Until we found out that our cousins the chimpanzees also used tools - thank you Jane Goodall!   read more!

What actually, are tools?

Hammers, screwdrivers, drills… all those things that make our efforts easier - that enable us to upgrade our performance…

Isn't it interesting, then, that in some of our most important endeavors - relationships with other humans - our arsenal of tools has been so limited?
And that we assume that we don't need an upgrade?

What do ya say?  
What relationship tools do you reach for?

Wednesday, August 9, 2017


Scientists have long spoken about the human fight or flight response in reaction to danger.

Then they started exploring the neurological connections that created a third reaction to danger - the freeze response.

Maybe, they theorized, it had to do with hiding from those gigantic predators …

We also seem to have a tendency to freeze when our brain has difficulty processing clashing expectations. 

Think about trying to move in two opposite directions at once…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…


These are times you might have described yourself as 'gob smacked' or used words like 'huh?' or 'what?'…

Maybe you felt your jaw drop or found yourself staring wide eyed at whatever happened? 

The most important thing to realize is that this is a reaction to an energy clash. In these situations our expectations don't fit reality. 

The freeze actually allows us to catch our breath and regroup!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017


Ever notice what happens when you are expecting something nice and something totally different occurs?

Seems like you should be reacting at warp speed to rectify the situation but…

It's as if you crash into a wall and everything stops.


Did you know that this is not unusual?
And that it actually makes sense?

What do ya say?
You've experienced this, right?

Friday, August 4, 2017


Sometimes, we seem to get addicted to straight lines, you know, A to B to C…

We often hear people say, "But, I did X and therefore I should get Y!"

This can actually be an emotionally dangerous way of thinking. 

If we get stuck believing in this rational we can end up feeling frustrated and cheated and badly treated by life.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about some of the 'straight line' fables you've bought into…

List all your 'if I do X I should be rewarded by Y' and the 'if I act this way, the world should treat me this way' beliefs.

Now think about whether your belief was borne out by reality.
How often did it prove to be true?
How did you feel when it wasn't true?

What do you think would happen if you drop this belief?
Might life be easier?  Less stressful?