Friday, December 19, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CELEBRATING THE LIGHT

It's important to remember - and celebrate - the people who have been kind to us. 

We tend to commit to memory and sometimes dwell upon the dark side - all those nasty, unhappy, mean moments in our lives…  Balancing it out by remembering the light is crucial to our well being!

And yes, those people exist in all of our lives - sometimes only a moment - a smile when we needed it…

Think about how much time you focus on the negative … can you give equal show time to the other side?






DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

FOCUSING ON THE UPSIDE…

We are clearly not talking about making believe that 'life is just a bowl of cherries…'  We've all had our share of nasties… 

But:
Our focus is BALANCE! 

So to keep the equilibrium going:

Think back over your life and look for the smiles…
Can you remember those moments of kindness?

Make a list of people who, over the years, have brought compassion and thoughtfulness into your life.   
A teacher?  A babysitter?  Someone on the street?  On a bus? 

You get what this is about, right?  Moments count!

Now imagine that you can have a conversation with those people - some of them total strangers - and tell them that what they did had an impact on you - even if it was just in that moment. 





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Thursday, December 18, 2014

MR. SWEET

Once upon a time, in a land far away, actually a small burg in upstate New York, a young girl was sitting in the back of a classroom quietly crying…

She was a good student.  She really worked at it, but she was in extremis! 

It was final exam time and that paper in front of her was torment!  None of it made sense!  Weird symbols that were getting weirder as they blurred with her tears…

The teacher, yes, his name really was Mr. Sweet, had been watching her with concern.  He was not only a compassionate human but he also loved math and just couldn't stand his beloved material being so poorly received…

He pulled up a chair next to the girl and tried - really tried - to point out the beauty and simplicity of his wonderful Algebra…

Showing her with great enthusiasm how easy it all was, he proceeded to do - and ace - her final exam…

A half century has passed and that girl is still grateful to this exceedingly kind human. 

She went on to ace many exams over the years but the biggest lesson she learned that day was understanding that all of us have limitations and reaching out with compassion changes a person's live forever!




What do ya say?
Ever had a Mr. Sweet in your life?




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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TURNING YOUR SKY BLUE…

What allows us to deal with life's exigencies - all those ups and downs - without falling apart?

 

Ever hear that song?  You know, "Blue Skies"? 

In the song  ("Blue skies smilin' at me / Nothin' but blue skies do I see / Bluebirds singin' a song / Nothin' but bluebirds all day long…" Full lyrics  the singer is referring to being in love, but the non-romantic answer might be related, at least in part, to the physiological and psychological response that being in love creates - a heady combination of hormones and elevated self-esteem!

Today we are learning more and more about the impact that the release of certain hormones has on our well-being - the connection between our moods and the release of these hormones - and all the things we can do pro-actively to trigger this response.   



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO CHANGE THAT FROWN INTO A SMILE?

Try some of these and let us know what happens…

1)  First put yourself into the proper frame of mind…
Tell yourself "I am taking steps in my own healing."

3)  Read inspirational stories - remember we all get inspiration in different ways - yours might be from a funny movie…

4)  Try some of the 'feel better' modalities - self hypnosis, meditation and visualization are all fascinating things to experiment with. 
   



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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

BLUE SKYS…

"I have a friend," he told me, "that has had so many difficult things happen to him… and the s.o.b. is still smiling!"


"I just don't get it," he continued, shaking his head.

"I have a bad day - just one - and I feel depressed and sorry for myself - not to mention wanting to scream at everyone who crosses my path…"

"Tell me," he asked, continuing to shake his head, "is he in denial, or am I?"
"What's this guys secret?"



What do ya say?
Do you know the answer?



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Friday, December 12, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HOOKED?

Why do we get hooked into high maintenance people?

There seems to be something in our culture that equates difficult with high value! 

We have been taught that if we have to jump through hoops to get something (someone) we have attained a great prize. 

We also get hooked in by our own sense that WE can tame the wild horse - that we are so special that only we can please this highly challenging other…

  


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

ARE YOU HIGH MAINTENANCE?  KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS?

What makes people high maintenance? 
Here's a list - check the ones that sound familiar.

_Their world view is lop-sided - they see only their side.

_Their demands are inconsistent and arbitrary.

_They constantly demand 'feeding'.

_They are moody.

_They punish.

_They have strong internal bullies - which they use on others!

_They expect more from others than they give - and tend to see it the other way around.


How many of these did you check?
For your self?
For someone else?






                      
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Thursday, December 11, 2014

MOANING AND GROANING…

"So," she whined, "my boyfriend… well actually … now that I think about it, several other people, too …have been complaining about me!" 

"They accuse me of being high maintenance!"

 


"Now what could they possibly mean by that?" 

"Seriously, I have no idea what they are talking about!" 

"Just because I know what I want…okay… always … and yeah, I do get upset if I don't get my way … I mean I am usually right…"

Hmmm…

What do ya say?
Know this lady?

It's not you, right?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - AWARENESS SELFIES


Growing up most of us have heard, "You are too selfish!"  and "Did you see what you just did?" Confusing admonitions indeed! 

We criticize our children if we think they are too focused on 'self' and at the same time demand that very focus!

An integral element of mental health is balance which clearly comes into play in the area of 'self'.

We do need to be self-aware - clued into how we interact with our world and impact others and ourselves.

Self-absorption, on the other hand, is a limiting phenomenon that isolates us and creates pain - for ourselves and those around us!

  



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

HOW TO SNAP A MENTAL SELFIE

To find out where you fit on the 'Self' Spectrum think about a recent difficult situation with someone and ask yourself the following questions:

1)  Did I make assumptions about what the other person was thinking?

2)  Did I make assumptions about what they were feeling - especially about me?

3)  Did I check in with myself and look at my 50% of the situation?

4)  Did I automatically judge myself - or the other person?

5)  What punishment or suffering did I require of myself - or the other person?

6)  Did I find a healthy, non-accusatory, way to resolve the issue?






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