Friday, December 2, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - BREAK OUT?

Family myths can be tremendously controlling and have an amazing capacity to resist change.

Why do these 'stories' have so much power?

We tend to be pack/group animals and use these family narratives to create solidarity within our group.  The group gains strength to the extent that all members buy into the rules.

When someone breaks the rules, they usually get labeled as an outsider.  We perceive them as a distortion, which is part of the way the group explains the 'defection'.


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about your own birth family…

What were their rules or belief systems?  
These are the defining characteristics that your family operated under - the ways they felt different from other families - usually defined as better!

Did you or any other member ever step away from these mandates?
How were you treated?

Remember, these rules have such staying power that we are often unconsciously operating under them even years after the actual group is gone!





Thursday, December 1, 2016

MAKING NICE

Once upon a time there was a family that prided itself on their closeness and cohesiveness…

They were all very sweet with each other - had weekly family dinners and took vacations together…

Sound familiar?

How about this part of the story:
They never fought… well not directly.

Sniping was a well honed sport and behind-the-back gossip was an Olympic event!


What do ya say?
Any of this sound familiar?



Wednesday, November 30, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MAP IT!

Strategic thinking is not manipulative - or maybe manipulation is okay?

The holiday season is a perfect time to practice the fine art of strategic thinking…

It's a time we are mandated to 'enjoy', but often put all our planning into only the peripherals like food and location.

Why peripherals?
Because the reality of this time of year is groups of people coming together - or feeling like they should…
And often those groups are family which automatically ups the stress levels. 

What do you think would happen if we allowed ourselves to strategize about the dynamics of these groups - and how to maximize the good energy?


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Some words to think about as you plan the holidays:
Intentional
Tactical
Calculated
Premeditated
Considered

Sound strange in this context? 
In reality looking at holiday planning from this perspective is actually kind!











Tuesday, November 29, 2016

CRASH! BANG!

Ever notice how other animals seem to work out 'plans' to share their turf?

For instance:

'Research shows that birds never have head on collisions while flying because they always veer to the right.'www.wisegeek.com



What do ya say?

Do you have an anti-collision strategy?

Thursday, November 24, 2016

A DAY OF THANKSGIVING?


CAN YOU COME UP WITH 5 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THANKFUL FOR THIS YEAR?

What do ya say?

Care to share?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - STRETCH IT OUT!

We've all heard that old tongue in cheek definition of 'crazy'…
You know, doing the same thing again and again and anticipating different results.

Crazy?  Maybe…
Certainly painful, frustrating and a perfect formula for feeling like a victim!

Someone once said we all need to see at least three options when tackling a problem.  

If we get stuck with only two choices we can find ourselves in an either/or dilemma, but that third possibility creates the mental stretch we need to feel empowered!


DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about your last challenging situation with another person.
How did you deal with it?
Were you satisfied with the results?

One way to evaluate the end product, is to think about how you felt when it was all over. 




Tuesday, November 22, 2016

DUCK AND WEAVE

You know that expression:  'Think outside the box'?

Well, another variation on that theme is: Instead of bashing your head into the proverbial brick wall - again - do an end-run!

What's an end-run in the context of dealing with difficult human situations?

Does it mean being devious?  Sneaky?


Or are we talking about the human need to be effective and not feel like a victim?

What do ya say?
When's the last time you tried an end-run?