Thursday, October 8, 2015


"Man, I was doing so well… and then…"

Sound familiar?

In the next breath he, she, they, you, mournfully intone whatever slips and falls, loses and negative gains (you know, weight…) that have popped up along that great fabled forward trajectory that life is intended to be…

What do ya say?
Do you know this mantra?
What does yours sound like?

To comment, click below

Wednesday, October 7, 2015


What does it mean to be 'in control'?
Most of us struggle with this concept. 

Where is the balance between being that hated control freak, and on the other hand losing control?

The healthy position - the least stressful and least harmful - seems to be when we realize that, as adults, the only person who we can healthily control is our own self. 

We can make decisions about our lives and do our very best to fulfill these desires - we can work to create balance in our lives which might be the best part of being in control of our daily existence. 

We can also step back from the 'ing' part of this verb and recognize that we don't and won't get very far trying to take on this task in the lives of others - certainly not once they are past the age of… consent! 

Check out these two interesting quotes about control:

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…


Think about a time when you felt pushed to do something by another person.

Who did the pushing?
How did you feel about them?
Did you do what they wanted?
How did that make you feel?
Were you able to push back?
How did that feel?

Now think about a time when you were doing the controlling.

How did you feel about the person you were pushing?
Did they listen to you?
Did they appreciate what you were doing?

And finally think about a time that you became rigid in your attempts at self control.

Did you accomplish what you wanted?
How did you end up feeling?

To comment, click below

Tuesday, October 6, 2015


"So," he complained.  "This whole thing about control is driving me nuts!"

"Everyone says how important it is to be in control of your life… okay?

"And then my girlfriend turns around and criticizes me for being controlling!"

"And what about all those times my parents and teachers did the 'control yourself' thing!"

"What's the deal here?"

What do ya say?  Good?  Bad?
Do you get this one?

To comment, click below…

Friday, October 2, 2015


We tend to get caught in our expectations of how it all should be and how we should feel.

We get tangled in webs of old beliefs from a hundred different sources… and the next thing we know we lose touch with the reality of the moment… and are ensnarled in the contorted stories we tell ourselves that open the door to envy and jealousy and so much unnecessary hurt!

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Want to avoid those tangled webs?

Here's the formula:

1)  ALLOW - Feelings and reality - no judgments - tell it like it is!  Feeling angry, sad, whatever is allowed!  'Making nice' can be highly toxic!

2)  RELEASE - Expectations and all the 'shoulds'!  Then feel any negative tension drain away…

3)  RE-DO - If you have done #1 and #2 then this is not only possible but… do-able!

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Thursday, October 1, 2015


"I keep getting hurt by the things that people do… I think some one is nice and then get shocked when they suddenly seem to turn ugly…"

The woman speaking was shaking her head.  (This seems to happen a lot, doesn't it?)  She was having a difficult time coming to grips with what kept happening to her…

"Ok," she explained, "I spent a lot of time with this person who I thought was a friend.  She kept saying with amazement how generous I was … I guess that should have been a clue, right?"

"I did notice the difference between what I gave and what she did, but somehow it didn't register… the warning siren just wasn't there…"

"Even when so many other people said what an awful b#@ch she was I just kept making excuses…" 

What do ya say? 

Can you identify?

to comment, click below

Wednesday, September 30, 2015


We can think about transitions as balance shifts…

Imagine yourself moving from one stepping stone to another - there's a moment when you are on one foot and then your weight shifts and the other foot comes into contact with the next stone.

In that instant of shift we are momentarily off balance - an experience that can be literally unsettling…

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Make a list of some of the mini-transitions you might go through in the course of a day…
These could include:
*  Sleep to waking
*  Alone to with others
*  Silent to noisy
*  Sick to well

Now ask yourself how these mini shifts might affect you.
+ How have you handled them in the past?
+ Maybe you've never recognized the transition?
+ What feelings may have been triggered?

How might recognizing these shifts help you?

To comment, click below

Tuesday, September 29, 2015


We all know about all those major life passages, right? 

You know - growing up, changing grades in school, leaving home, relationship upheavals, changing jobs … all those big shifts.

And we expect to have to deal...

But have you ever stopped to think about all the mini-transitions?
Those small steps from A to B, not just the major A to Z ones?

Think about it...
Even during the course of a day, can you feel the gears shifting?

What do ya say?

Ever stop to think that maybe that's what some of those mood swings are about? 

And maybe the feeling is pretty normal?

To comment, click below