Friday, August 30, 2013

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – HOW TO OVERCOME THOSE TRICKY FAMILY DYNAMICS!


What are family dynamics and why are they important to us? 

Most of us have grown up as part of a family – a system with rules of behavior and roles that are given to its individual members.

Sometimes these rules and roles are very transparent and we are aware of them and their impact on us.

However, in most families this dynamic is unspoken – and its impact on the individual members goes unrecognized.

A wonderful film image of family dynamics shows up in the dinner table scene in Woody Alan’s movie "Annie Hall".  check it out!







DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas


SURVIVING AND THRIVING DESPITE OUR FAMILY DYNAMICS

Sometimes without our awareness the rules and roles promulgated by our families become straitjackets later in our lives.

To Escape:

As always, our #1 Rule is:  Awareness!

See if you can tease out the roles given to different members of your birth family.
            
           Was there a designated caretaker?
           
           A scapegoat?
           
           A smart child?
            
           An outsider?
           
           A leader?
           
           A risk-taker?

You get the idea.  Think about your family.  What was your role?  Can you see ways that you are still playing that part?  Is it a plus or a minus?

What were the unspoken rules in your family?  These are the markers, often words, that your parents might have used to designate your family’s difference from others.
          
           We are _________
           
           We believe ___________
           
           We always __________

Fill in the blanks.  Now ask yourself how those rules followed you into your adult life, and whether they help you or get in your way…






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