Wednesday, January 2, 2013


The concept of planning for the future – another way of looking at resolutions – is great.  The problems arise when we set expectations unrealistically and then get angry with ourselves for not living up to the plan! 

A great example is that number 1 on many lists:  lose weight -  a gigantic (opps! sorry) task with so many moving parts, emotional and physical, including breaking old - sometimes life long – habits!   And we blithely put it at the top of our list – and that’s only one item!

Let’s face it, if it was a easy as putting it on a list … it wouldn’t be there in the first place!  

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

Here’s how the “Resolution Tango” goes:

Bully Voice:  “You have to…”
almost immediately reaction sets in and we trigger the:

Victim Voice:  “Oh, my God!  I can’t…”
which of course gets our next voice in high gear…

Rebel Voice:  “Up yours!  So, you don’t think I’m good enough as I am, huh?  Watch this!  Where did you hide those potato chips?  I WILL FIND THEM!”

Tell me you haven’t done this dance before?  Cha cha cha…

So, how do we change it?

1)      Take ownership:  “Yup, been there, done that, won the trophy!”
2)     Identify your own personal Bully, Victim and Rebel.

What does your Bully look like?  Sound like?  Can you imitate your Bully’s voice and exaggerate it?

How about your poor, suffering, incompetent Victim voice?  No offence – we all have one!

And your Rebel?  Even though this part of you might be undercover, it definitely did not disappear at age 17…

In reality we tie up a lot of our emotional energy in the tango between these three parts of ourselves.  The more overt you can make these interactions, the more you can laugh at them, the more powerful your forward momentum becomes.

If you think of these internal voices as three kids pulling in different directions you get an idea of how this dance hinders movement.  If you get them talking to each other – working together – WOW!

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