Friday, January 31, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SNAKE ENERGY


'Snake Energy' is our ability to react to dangerous or threatening situations with lightening fast, instinctive moves that are designed to throw off the enemy, change the situation and restore a balance of power.

We are probably born with this survival skill but early 'intervention' and training in 'civilized behavior' tends to short circuit this important facet of our behavioral spectrum.






 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...


3 EASY STEPS TO RE-OWN YOUR ABILITY TO REACT INSTINCTIVELY:

(Remember this is not about permission to be inappropriate - just the opposite!)


1)  Remove caveats and restrictions and old rules of engagement.  
Sometimes it is not appropriate to be 'nice'!


2)  Practice!  
Think about past situations where you walked away feeling bad, put down, frightened.  
Would 'snake energy' have been appropriate?  
Re-write the scenarios using this instinctive, often counter intuitive, approach. 


3)  Allow your creativity free reign.  
Sometimes a smile when people are expecting you to cringe can be incredibly powerful.  
A whisper can often be heard much louder than a shout. 







To explore any of these topics you can type a key word into the search field on upper left of the Blog.  To comment just click on the word 'comments' below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com


Thursday, January 30, 2014

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - A FABLE


Once upon a time in a distant land (South Philly), a long time ago (1970's), a young and very naïve woman was sent by the company she worked for to ask invasive questions (called research) of the area residents (perhaps dealers of illegal substances).

One evening, walking back to her hotel, she was beset upon by a gang of understandably angry (she was invading their territory), large young males approaching her from the rear, rather fast and rather loud…

And then, lo and behold, a very strange thing happened…
Our heroine was suddenly invaded and overcome by a surge of very intense  energy . 

She whirled around to face her pursuers with what must have been a truly grotesque expression on her face, as a loud hissing sound issued from deep within her! (weird, right?)



The reaction was immediate and perhaps not so surprising - the attackers turned tail and fled!

What do ya say?
Ever need to access your snake energy?





To explore any of these topics you can type a key word into the search field on upper left of the Blog and to comment just click on the word 'comments' below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com





Wednesday, January 29, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - PROMISES YOU CAN'T KEEP


What compels us to make promises we can't keep?  

Most of us have had at least an episode or two of over committing, knowing as we say 'yes' that we are promising something that we will not be able to do.

There are many possible reasons to explain this behavior that in some of us is more than occasional. 

Often we over commit when we are angry - saying yes in these situations is a passive aggressive way of responding, since we are setting up the recipient for disappointment.

Sometimes we act this way because we are afraid of the judgment of others if we say no. 

And sometimes it is our own judgment that compels us - the internal voice that tells us that we are inadequate.  By over committing we can feel larger than life - powerful and dominant. 

And in some of us, there is also that gambler's rush that comes with 'putting one over' on the other guy, along with the excitement of hoping that the deck of cards we construct might not actually topple…








 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...

Ever find yourself promising things you know you can't possibly do?

What do you think motivates you?
          If I say no I'll look bad.
          They'll be angry at me.
          I'll look poor - like a loser

          If I say yes I'll feel powerful.
          People will be impressed.
          I'm in charge, running the show.
          No one can criticize me.
          I get a rush out of doing this.

Who do you think you learned this behavior from?
          A parent?
          A teacher?
          A friend?
          A boss?

How do you feel when you are on the receiving end?
          I feel hurt.
          I feel angry.
          I feel betrayed.

What usually happens when you 'get caught'?
          I get angry.
          I feel depressed.
          I spend a lot of time figuring out how to recover and cover up.
          I lie.

Now as an experiment imagine the last time you 'over-committed'.  Run the story of what actually happened through your mind - the promise and the results.  Pay particular attention to the consequences.  Was the clean up worth the deed?   


What do ya say?
We'd love to hear your experiences on either side of this one.








To explore any of these topics you can type a key word into the search field on upper left of the Blog and to comment just click on the word 'comments' below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com




Tuesday, January 28, 2014

PROMISES, PROMISES…


Why do people make promises they know they can't deliver?


Here's how one infamous - and often in trouble - 'over-promiser' tells it:

"Well," he explained in a remarkably composed voice, "when I first start out I do know that I can't deliver." 

He smiled in a self-deprecating way as he continued explaining. 

"I just want to please my audience - you know the other guy.  Or maybe it's that I want to feel like a big shot, like I can do it all…"

"But actually he went on, "within minutes, the person I've conned is - ME!"

"I seem to forget that I'm not made of money or can't be in two places at once…  Really I start believing my line…"

And what happens when he gets caught?  When the whole story falls apart?

"Well," he went on somewhat abashedly, "first I get really angry at the other person - as if it's all their fault… and then, well, let's face it, at some point the whole thing crumbles and I feel like a real loser!"


What do ya say?
Does this guy sound familiar?



To explore any of these topics you can type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.  To comment just click on the word 'comments' below.  (We love reading your comments!)


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Sunday, January 26, 2014

FALLING FOR YOU



Ever hear those stories about an elderly person falling and their whole life going downhill? (Oops!)

Ever take a nasty fall yourself and have to deal with the unexpected repercussions? 

Fortunately, this entire field is coming into focus by doctors and physical therapists with the hopeful goal of prevention!

Today's post is from physical therapist Greg Taylor, our popular "Friend" and director of Physical Therapy at the Foot Center of New York.  

Greg talks to us about this new focus: 

"If it hasn't happened to you, I'll bet you know someone who it has happened to, and until we figure out how to control gravity it is going to keep happening."

"The indirect cost of a fall is something that is hard to measure but hits close to home!  

When a person is injured from a fall it can start a cascade of events that have an adverse effect on the entire family, and these effects can often be long-term.

Lost time from work, dependence on others, and reduced quality of life are the side-effects of rehabilitation from a fall injury that can add financial and emotional strain to an already stressful event."

"Here is the good news; falling can be prevented!

Research shows that by reducing the risk factors related to falling you can reduce the occurrence and injury associated with falls.

The key is in the early identification of these risk factors and then taking the proper steps to reduce these risks. 

Below are three of the recommendations to address factors associated with increased risk of falls - although designed to improve the clinical approach of falls and mobility in older adults - most of these points are relevant to all of us. 

Check these out:

Vision check-up - pretty self explanatory, but often overlooked as a possible cause of falls.

Home hazards assessment - loose rugs, wires, furniture placement - these are all easy things to change in order to avoid slips and falls.

Gait analysis - certain characteristics in the way a person walks can be predictors of falls.  Decreased trunk rotation, speed, uneven step length and increased knee flexion are some of the most common.

In some cases orthotic management is recommended to help with a patient's mobility and stability issues.  Custom fit ankle and foot orthotics have been shown to reduce a person's fall risk."

"In our physical therapy clinic we combine several different screening tests to detect specific areas of vulnerabilities and then plan a treatment program that directly addresses those deficits.  

The combination of physical therapy - strengthening vulnerable areas, correcting problems - and podiatric intervention can make a significant difference!"


For more information, please contact:
Gregory P. Taylor, PT, DPT

Director of Physical Therapy @Foot
Center of New York
Adjunct Professor @New York College of Podiatric Medicine

gtaylor@nycpm.edu

Friday, January 24, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IF WISHES COULD WASH DISHES…


Do you get angry because of situations that should be different?

Do people hurt your feelings by acting in ways that probably were predictable - but not what you wanted?

Remember, knowing what to expect doesn't necessarily mean enjoying the behavior. 

Recognizing who someone is or what the situation brings with it isn't always great.  But faking yourself out with unrealistic expectations is a guarantee for trouble!

It can be challenging to see things as they are - we grow up with many 'shoulds' about our behavior and that of others. 

Dealing with reality doesn't mean giving up our ideals - it just means taking care of ourselves!   







DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...


REMEMBER THAT SAYING FROM CHILDHOOD: 
'IF WISHES COULD WASH DISHES THAN HORSES WOULD FLY?' 

Maybe slightly paraphrased but you get the idea, right? 

We all have dreamed about impossible situations becoming reality.  The problem comes when we trick ourselves into forgetting what's real … which usually leads to a major CRASH!

Think about some of the situations in your life where you were shocked by someone's behavior:

Maybe the actions of a boss or co-worker?

How about the way a partner or spouse acted that took you by surprise?

A nasty comment about your appearance from a friend or relative?

Now ask yourself if the action of the other person was really surprising based on who they are and how they have acted in the past.

How many times did they act in this same manner?

How often can you imagine someone, with their personality, in the same situation really acting differently? 

Be honest on this one - it's not about how you want someone to act or how you feel they should act, but about what is predictable.

Now ask yourself what you felt when this happened? 
Hurt?  Angry?  Dismayed?  Betrayed?

And finally ask yourself how you would have felt if you had expected them to act exactly in the predictable way they behaved?

Would you have made different choices if you expected this behavior?


  




COMING THIS SUNDAY - ONE OF OUR FAVORITE 'OLD FRIENDS' - PHYSICAL THERAPIST GREG TAYLOR BRINGS US 'FALLING FOR YOU'.  CHECK IT OUT!

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Thursday, January 23, 2014

TELL IT LIKE IT IS!


"He was sooo mean to me," she wailed in a voice way more familiar in a 15 year old than a grown lady of 30 plus years.

What was she talking about?  Her ex-boyfriend, who she dumped, didn't want to help her move.

Mean?  Hmmmm…


And how about this one:

"My girlfriend," the 45 year old guy complained, "is acting so immature!"

Ok, guess how old the girlfriend was?
Try 23.  Immature?  Yup.  Acting just like a 23 year old.


Now what, you might ask, is the moral of this story?
'If it looks like a duck…'

Really, life is so much easier if our expectations are in line with reality!

What do ya say?

How many times have you been 'shocked' by someone acting in the most predictable manner?




COMING THIS SUNDAY - ANOTHER WONDERFUL 'OLD FRIENDS' POST.  CHECK IT OUT...


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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CAN WE CHANGE?


Can we evolve and change, or despite all our best efforts do we stand still, uselessly attempting to do the impossible?

In reality, it is very likely that we do keep dealing with the same issues throughout our lives - partly because these are the 'problems' that come with our personal history and, just as logically, because as humans, we do have a cluster of life issues that are part and parcel of our heredity. 

As we focus on these same issues we fine tune them, and hopefully, with each turn of the dial, we empower ourselves more and more, becoming wiser and stronger. 

The sameness of these core issues does not equal lack of change! 

A beautiful quote about this paradox of our life journeys comes from the pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus:

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man"







DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun
ideas...


What are the life issues you deal with?
Can you see how these same issues have evolved over time?


A FUN TEST:

Check the issues that apply to you and rate yourself on a scale of 1 (Ugh!) to 10 (Nirvana!) in regards to your own changes. 


                                      
Where are you now on the evolutionary scale of dealing with:

                                     1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8    9    10


Parents
Siblings
Friendships
Relationships
Children
Work
Anger
Sadness
Competition
Joy
Setting boundaries


Remember:  Measure your 'evolution' by where you started out with these life issues and where you are now! 










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