SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SO THERE!

"Don't cut off your nose to spite your face" is a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one's anger.^[1]

The phrase is known to have been used in the 12th century. It may be associated with the numerous legends of pious women disfiguring themselves in order to protect their virginity.   (read more)

When that guy in yesterday's post got called 'fat' he felt angry - who wouldn't?

But we are educated from childhood that it is not okay to bite off someone else's nose when they are mean to us - remember all that 'sticks and stones' business?

But the angry energy still has to go somewhere …

Unfortunately we are always our easiest targets - so we turn the anger back on ourselves - do the self-destructive dance - as we unconsciously chant "So there!"  Metaphorically sticking out our tongues at the bad guys…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

WORKING WITH YOUR INNER VICTIM

Before you go off the deep end and self-destruct:

1)  Realize that you can actually feel that nastiness turning inward (suddenly tired, depressed, edgy?  All clues…)

2)  Ask yourself who you are really angry at?

3)  Stop yourself from making all those nonsensical excuses for the other guy:

                                 

           'He doesn't really mean it…'

           'He was just kidding…'

           'I'm too sensitive…'

4)  Now, creatively focus your anger where it belongs - on that other guy!  

CHOOSE ONE,TWO OR THREE OF THE FOLLOWING STRATEGIES:

          

a. Use fantasy to direct the anger back at the perp. No, thoughts do not make it happen - they only make us feel better!

b. Create an imaginary dialog with the bad guy telling it like it is!

c. Do something physical to release your anger - no - you can not hit him - but you can hit a pillow with his name on it - or run or yell or pound dough and make bread. You get it - blow off that steam!

d. If you are comfortable with it - and the relationship between you and the perp makes it realistic - you can always say something!

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