NEW YEAR'S EVE

RELEASING THE OLD . . .

EMBRACING THE NEW . . .

MAY 2014 BRING POSITIVE CHANGE INTO YOUR LIFE!

SUNDAY SMILES - TELLING IT LIKE IT IS!

"I'm not really interested in the answer," she told me.

"But that was a really good question…"

        Huh?

        

I'm not exactly sure what that means - but think about it...

Might this be your year for saying what you really think?

I bet a few good ones came to mind just then, right?

What do ya say?

Could this be a fun New Year's resolution, or what?

THIS ONE COMES WITH SPECIAL THANKS TO BEAUTIFUL AND WISE SISTER NANCY ...

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SO THERE!

"Don't cut off your nose to spite your face" is a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one's anger.^[1]

The phrase is known to have been used in the 12th century. It may be associated with the numerous legends of pious women disfiguring themselves in order to protect their virginity.   (read more)

When that guy in yesterday's post got called 'fat' he felt angry - who wouldn't?

But we are educated from childhood that it is not okay to bite off someone else's nose when they are mean to us - remember all that 'sticks and stones' business?

But the angry energy still has to go somewhere …

Unfortunately we are always our easiest targets - so we turn the anger back on ourselves - do the self-destructive dance - as we unconsciously chant "So there!"  Metaphorically sticking out our tongues at the bad guys…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

WORKING WITH YOUR INNER VICTIM

Before you go off the deep end and self-destruct:

1)  Realize that you can actually feel that nastiness turning inward (suddenly tired, depressed, edgy?  All clues…)

2)  Ask yourself who you are really angry at?

3)  Stop yourself from making all those nonsensical excuses for the other guy:

                                 

           'He doesn't really mean it…'

           'He was just kidding…'

           'I'm too sensitive…'

4)  Now, creatively focus your anger where it belongs - on that other guy!  

CHOOSE ONE,TWO OR THREE OF THE FOLLOWING STRATEGIES:

          

a. Use fantasy to direct the anger back at the perp. No, thoughts do not make it happen - they only make us feel better!

b. Create an imaginary dialog with the bad guy telling it like it is!

c. Do something physical to release your anger - no - you can not hit him - but you can hit a pillow with his name on it - or run or yell or pound dough and make bread. You get it - blow off that steam!

d. If you are comfortable with it - and the relationship between you and the perp makes it realistic - you can always say something!

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CUTTING OFF YOUR NOSE…

"Why," he wanted to know, "is it that when someone says something mean and critical about me I make it worse by what I do next?"

Sound at all familiar?

He went on to say:  "The other day someone called me fat… 

I don't really think of myself as fat, but the minute he said it, I got hungry!"

"And the next day I ate all the bad stuff I never eat...  

You know,  serious junk food!"

"And," he continued, "when my boss criticized a report I was working on, instead of correcting the problems right away, I stalled and actually turned in the amended report after the deadline!"

"Why do I make things worse?"

What do ya think?  

Ring any bells?

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WISHING YOU ALL A HOLIDAY SEASON FILLED WITH HOPE AND LIGHT…

REVISITING THE PAST - PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE…

"Diciembre es un mes bastante raro, pues uno revisa lo hecho, planifica el próximo año, se recuerda cosas del pasado, es un mes familiar y sobre todo nos ponemos muy sentimentales."   
with thanks to my friend Mario in El Salvador

"December is a very unusual month...  
It is a time when we automatically focus on what we've done during the past year and plan for the future... 
As we remember the past and think about friends and family, we often experience nostalgia and unexpected depths of emotion."

"In the northern hemisphere, the December solstice occurs during the coldest season of the year... 

Although winter was regarded as the season of dormancy, darkness and cold, the coming of lighter days after the winter solstice brought on a more festive mood. To many people, this return of the light was a reason to celebrate that nature’s cycle was continuing.

In modern times Christians all over the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on Christmas, which falls on December 25. However, it is believed that this date was chosen to offset pagan celebrations of Saturnalia.

Some believe that celebrating the birth of the “true light of the world” was set in synchronization with the December solstice because from that point onwards, the days began to have more daylight in the northern hemisphere."  read more

What do ya think?  

What does December mean to you?

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SUNDAY SMILES - GOT DIVERSITY?

This morning I got into a cab - yup, here we go again… another taxi tale…

Anyhow, when I told the driver where to go, he seemed confused, so I switched to Spanish.  

No, problema… 

He nodded his head happily and headed to the left  - wrong direction!

Turned out he only spoke French - and I'm dyslexic…

When we got it all sorted out he asked me - in French - why I was laughing so hard…

Can you say 'multi-culturally dyslexic' - in French?

What do ya say?

How diverse are you?


Winter is truly a time to celebrate diversity with all the different ways we humans welcome the winter holiday season!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SLEEP DEPRIVATION

We try to fit everything into our days - and, especially this time of year -our to-do lists seem to expand, while the daylight hours shrink.

Giving up on a few hours of sleep seems like a no-brainer, but over time we can get into habits that deprive us of the rest we need in order to function at our best. 

Find yourself snapping at the people around you?  Feeling nervous and short of patience? 

Sleep deprivation can leave us feeling cranky and out of sorts. 

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

LEARN TO BLOCK OUT THE NOISE!

It's easy to let the days' activities bleed into the night time hours normally dedicated to sleep.  There are many tricks designed to create boundaries between sleep time and waking time:  we've all heard the following:

Create a quiet zone for sleeping

Soft colors

Muted sounds

For light sensitive individuals watch out for bedtime tv viewing

Have a nightly ritual that delineates the time zones between the active day and sleep

OK  

BUT

What can you do once you turn out the lights and all that clutter starts churning around in your mind?

1)  Breathe.  Create a rhythm of breathing that is soothing to you - make it different from your normal breathing pattern.  Maybe count - in on the count of 3, out to the count of three…

2)  Imagine your bothersome thoughts have a brightness and contrast - they start out as a dark black - see if you can 'grey them down' gently fading them to the point they disappear.

3)  Put the intruders into a box, close the lid tightly, and then begin spinning it away from you and into the stratosphere until it all disappears.

4)  Resize your thoughts:  they start out big, taking up a lot of your mind-space… Downsize them until they disappear.

5)  Compress the intrusive thoughts until they are flatter than a pancake - or until you laugh yourself to sleep!

Obviously, the idea of all of the above is to empower yourself to take back the night…

Your sleeping time belongs to you and you deserve to control what happens!

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T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE…

"Sugar plums, bah!"  she sputtered.

"It's not sugar plums - it's everything!"  

"And nothing as lovely as sugar plums - whatever the h#@l they are!"

  

(what are sugar plums?)

http://kidtimes.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/visions-of-sugar-plums-danced-in-their-heads/

 "It's all those presents, and money, and work and… and… and…"

What was she talking about?

You guessed it - sleep deprivation!

It seems that this time of year - the dark of winter - the 'noise', the emotional clatter, accelerates with the pressures of family and holidays… invading our night time slumber.

How do you keep that quiet zone safe?

What do ya say?

Any emotional 'moats' to share?   

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S TIME GOT TO DO WITH IT?

One of my professors in the anthropology Department of George Washington University, the controversial Dr. Patrick Gallagher, used to lecture us about time - partly about the cultural relativity of beliefs about time.

He was also trying to make what he considered an important point when he said, "You can't be late until you get there… and then you're there…"

Huh?

Well, it was the 60's, an era when time was certainly being 'bent' with all manner of substances, but he was also trying to get us to understand something about the tyranny of time…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

Time is an important commodity in the interactions between humans.

          We give our time to help others.

          We take up someone's time.

          We say: "Time is money".

          We waste time.

          We buy time.

          We pay on time.

          We do things in a timely manner.

The list goes on and on and yet most of us probably never stop to think about our personal relationship with time and how we came to believe these things.

Think about it:

What does time mean to you… and how do you use it?

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IT'S ABOUT TIME…

Are you one of those misguided souls who always arrive early?  

Like to make sure you're on time? 

Someone obviously beat that lesson into you, right?

Why else would you torment others in such a cold-blooded manner?

Especially during the holiday season! 

Going to a party?

PLEASE DO NOT SHOW UP EARLY! 

Unless it's your best friend, sister, or brother - and even then only by prior agreement! 

Otherwise you are likely to catch your host in extremis ...

...still undressed and running around like a maniac trying to get it all together.

Hey, if you are going to a movie, restaurant or surgery - sure you want to be on time…

For the rest of it, a little late is usually a blessing to your host…

What do ya say?  

Ever got caught with your pants down…

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