ARE YOU GUILTY OF…PROJECTILE VOMITING?

Here’s how this one goes:

Susan says something totally innocuous and instead of taking her words at face value John hears something invasive and critical…

And then ( and here comes the 'projectile' part…) John responds with a nasty, angry retort…

After all Susan did say something mean to begin with, didn't she?

Well, no.  It really was innocuous, but something happened between her mouth and his ears to distort the message…

And then of course, Susan really is upset!  John was awful to her out of nowhere!  A real argument gets under way and they are off and running!  Yikes! 

This ever happen to you? 

What do you think causes this distortion?

(PS  Check in tomorrow for some interesting answers…)

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SUNDAY SMILES – O.L.D. CELEBRATES 6000+!

Today O.L.D. reached 6404 hits!  WHOA!

Thank you all for being here!

If you’d like more input about topics, design or anything else, we’d love to hear from you! 

We’ve been both delighted and surprised at who our readers are:  50% of you are female, as expected… but the other 50% are male!  Way to go guys! 

And our second surprise was the high number of people actually UNDER THE AGE OF 40!  Again, about half of you…

Because we want to make sure that we are staying responsive to what you need, today we are including one of those ‘monkey surveys’ to give you an easy way to let us know what you want and what you think!

(to take survey click here!)

Please join in on the fun!
Carol
 

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GIVING AND RECEIVING

What determines how we react to offers of assistance? 

In our culture help is often looked upon as charity to the needy – and we have a difficult time with ‘needy’! 

In a small child it is considered appropriate but as we get older it is connected to being a problem.

We shake our heads as we proclaim: “She/he is so needy!”

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...    

As an experiment for one day – one week – or only in your fantasy – imagine that every offer of assistance is a well earned gift.

Well earned is important because it empowers us to feel that we deserve assistance – rather than seeing it as ‘charity’.

Now imagine taking it one step further and actually asking for help in a situation that you would normally do by yourself.

What happens as you do this? 

How do you feel and what are you feeling about the person who you asked for help?

How do they respond?

Now imagine beaming light on your helper as a means of acknowledging the gift. 

How does this make you feel?

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CAN I HELP YOU?

How many times have you struggled with the dilemma of whether to offer help to someone handicapped or elderly?

It seems like the kind and generous and really human thing to do.  We usually like the idea of being able to reach out and make a difference.

But do we make a difference?  And what kind?

Diane who’s 72 years old and recently started using a cane told me she absolutely hates it when someone holds a door open for her.  But her best friend Susan loves it!

“It makes me feel weak!” Diane complained.  Her friend says it feels nurturing!

Ted, a well known local sports guy who recently suffered an injury pushed away the out stretched hand of his doc… and then lost his balance and threw himself against the poor guy’s back!

What determines how we react to support and assistance? 

What do ya think?

Where do you stand (Sorry!  Couldn’t resist!)  on this one?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – 8 STEPS FOR AN EFFECTIVE ACTION PLAN

How does society make it’s rules? 

While we might think our rules are universal, in reality they are different not only from one culture to another, but also within the sub-sets of these cultures.

Thinking that our choices are strictly mandated is actually a product of a very linear mode of thinking. 

Using non-linear thinking opens up our options and allows us to feel the excitement of breaking out of the box!



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...    

8 STEPS TO CREATING AN EFFECTIVE ACTION PLAN

1)    Check out who is making the rules.

2)    If at first you don’t succeed – try something different!

3)    Evaluate   Evaluate   Evaluate

4)    Remember:  having one M.O. always gets the bad guy caught!

5)    Give yourself at least three options.

6)    Check out other people’s success strategies...

7)    But remember the person who has to live with the outcome – and the choice of how to get there – is you.

8)    Succeeding the ‘wrong way’ still counts.

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DOING IT THE WRONG WAY!

How many times have you heard: 

“There’s a right way and a wrong way to do anything”? 

Maybe the first time from your parents?  The implication being that any moron knows which one to choose…  Really?


One of our favorite readers prided herself on doing things the ‘right’ way - especially following the chain of command at work. 

She just couldn’t understand why all those people who ‘caucused’ (you do know there’s a reason politicians love this word!) were always ahead of her on line and got their agendas taken care of… DUH!

So what do ya think?  Who makes the rules? 

And which way should you choose?

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SUNDAY SMILES – A SCREAM IN THE NIGHT

OMG!  Have you ever forgotten that you turned the sound all the way up on your computer so you’d hear an email coming in when you’re in another room…

And then late at night you go to shut it off and a voice SHOUTS 
“GOOD BYE!”

I wonder what the neighbors think when they hear me scream??

I swear this forgetfulness is not old age…

Just one of the results of a full life, right?

What do ya think?  Been there?  Done that?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – LEARNING FROM TRAGEDY

 Two questions that frequently come up in the aftermath of tragedy:
   
    Is it okay to celebrate life in the face of tragedy?
   
    Is it okay to complain about minor problems in the face of tragedy?

While the suffering of others can put things into perspective for us, it doesn’t negate the continuation of our own lives. 

We actually honor others by continuing to work through our issues.  

We may be powerless in regards to their tragedies, but we can use the wake-up call they afford us to approach our own celebrations and difficulties with humility, grace and determination.




DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


How can tragedy teach us to enhance our lives?

*Remind yourself that each day is precious.  There are no guarantees of tomorrow!

*Find something to appreciate every day.  Once you get in the habit it’s really easy!

*Smile at yourself in the mirror!

*Smile at one stranger each day/

*Give a friend a hug!

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A Prayer for Light in the Darkness…

Today someone I work with spoke about the darkness within us – both as the places we don’t know or understand and as the opposite of life affirming light.

As humans we have a mandate to move towards the light – in our learning and giving and sharing with others.

Today we mourn for the lights that were snuffed out in Boston and for the darkness of the extremely limited humans who cause such destruction to move over our world.

May the God of all of us and in all of us bring solace and a time of divine light.

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – A LAUGHING MATTER

As social animals, humans thrive on shared laughter and the ability to commiserate about life’s changes.

In yesterday’s post we asked, “And just how long can you stand on your head?”  Check out the following (slightly edited) from wiki.answers.com – If this doesn’t crack you up …

“Standing on your head is one of 2 or 3 excellent ways to resolve 'restless leg syndrome'.

Remain on your head long enough to 'feel' the blood drain out of your feet and ankles. Pooled blood from standing and sitting all day is heavy and sludgy. Therefore when you sleep your legs are literally "hot, heavy and restless". And in their attempt to cool down and circulate properly, they, by force of nature, kick.

Standing on your head also turns your organs upside down which can relieve pockets of compressed tissue; which may improve digestion and congested flow of chemical processes... “

(more) 



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


Remember all the times in your life when you looked in the mirror and felt critical about what you saw?

Pre –adolescent pudge, adolescent pimples, the first wrinkle, a grey hair…

Imagine that instead of harping on yourself you could take the wisdom acquired through years of suffering and instead apply the following three simple rules:

1.)    You’re fine flaws and all!

2.)    You’ll never be perfect, so get over it!

3.)    F*** ‘em if they can’t take a joke!

What do ya think?  Can you get with the ‘revised’ program?  We’d love to hear what happens!

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FALLEN NECK SYNDROME

Hair?  Not a problem – easy enough to fix…

Wrinkles?  Stop frowning.  Those smile lines look ok... 

And weight and exercise?  Please!  We’ve been on that one since age 12! 

But what is this neck business?   What’s the message here?

1.     You’re fine, sagging neck and all!

2.    You’ll never be perfect, so get over it!

3.    F*** ‘em if they can’t take a joke!

I mean, how do you explain this one? 

And just how long can you stand on your head?! 

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SUNDAY SMILES – A DAY IN THE WOODS…

One day, about a million years ago, I was in Muir Woods National Monument in California (check out Muir Woods) with a bunch of friends.  It was the early 70’s so you know we were somewhat ‘altered’…

I found a friendly tree with low-lying branches and climbed up. 

I spent the rest of that day hanging in the tree while my friends ran around through the woods.

I remember at the end of the day realizing that I saw as much from my one spot as they did running all over the place…

One of those major ‘AhHa’ moments for me… 

My grandmother from the old country, had a slightly different spin on this great awareness…

“You send a cow around the world,” she said, “it still comes back a cow…”                                                   

       

Hmmm… What do you think? 

Special thanks for today’s Sunday Smiles goes to one of our favorite Blog Buddies in Northern California – You know who you are!  Thanks!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – HOW DO WE LET GO?

Does forgiving mean forgetting about what happened?

To paraphrase the Dalai Lama the best solution is to remember the lesson and let go of the negative incident.

This allows us to move forward in life without bitterness.  It enables us to continue to learn from our life without carrying the weight of ‘bad’ experiences.




DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


As long as we keep learning from our experiences we don’t need to feel bitter - there’s always a plus!  Ask yourself what the ‘take away’ from each experience.

A fun way to facilitate this process:

Imagine you can create a box to archive the ‘story’ of any negative experience that you are holding onto.  For your box create a table of contents, a video version, and a summary of the story.  You are going to store this box in a special ‘cloud’ location that is accessible only in case of dire need.

Before you store the box, take a moment to analyze  what you learned from this experience - your ‘take away’.  It might be about the specific people involved or a general life lesson.

Find a good way of keeping these life lessons accessible – maybe a computer file or a notebook or Diary – real or virtual. 

Your entry might read:
Dear Diary – Today I had an interesting experience (note to self: see Cloud file only in an emergency!)  What I learned was…

This process allows us to continue to learn – to allow all experiences to enrich us – even the ‘bad’ ones!


 

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INSTANT KARMA! ONE GOOD DEED DESERVES ANOTHER…

Today I brought some bottles of water down to the desk of my building.  The doorman is working very hard to lose weight and I try to be supportive.

When the elevator opened on the Lobby floor someone who had been avoiding me for months was standing right there.  I handed the water to the doorman and this woman and I got into the elevator together.  We had the opportunity to smile and let some old slights float away…

Whoever said ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ needs a serious attitude adjustment!

What do ya think? 

Have any Good Karma stories to share?

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