SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - STRESS AND THE NAIL FILE

How do we maintain our equilibrium, our balance? 

How do we recognize and accept what is likely to come our way, based on our jobs and life style choices? 

Here's a great story, perhaps it could even be looked at as a *Zen Koan:

One day a young woman was riding in a taxi and broke a fingernail.  She pulled out a nail file but before going to work on that jagged nail she remembered some people couldn't stand that sawing sound.

"Do you mind," she asked the driver, "if I file my nail?  Will the sound disturb you?"

"Lady," he responded, "if I let something like that get me, they'd have to lock me up in St.E's (the local mental institution)…

*a paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment…

Do you get the moral of this story?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

Take a moment to think about and evaluate your life choices and the stresses that come with them…

Some stress you can actually eliminate or lower…

Perhaps the real stress reduction comes with the wisdom of that taxi driver:

'This is normal for what I have chosen to bring into my life.'

The next step is to honor your life choices by honoring the stresses that come with them…

Remember that great saying about elephant trainers?

To comment click below!

CRACKING UNDER PRESSURE…

"He had a psychotic break!" she was incredulous, shaking her head as she told me her tale of woe.

"Ok, maybe not a real one," she continued, "but he started screaming and held a clove of garlic up in my direction - you know - warding off vampires!"

She was talking about the carpet installation guy who cracked as she was giving him just one tiny, teeny little extra bit of instructions …

I mean, really, some people just can't take a minor bit of correction, can they?

What do ya say?

Ever run into these touchy types?

Can you keep a straight face?

to comment just click below and share your stories...

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TESTING…TESTING…

We see this testing behavior, the pushing of limits to the breaking point, in young children, seemingly, and counter intuitively, at times when parental stress is the highest!

Mom is at her wits end, Dad is ready to snap, (think road trip) and when it seems like things can't get any worse, the yelling and demands from that back seat intensify.

Perhaps children who seldom have the ability to put complex feelings into words are asking:

'Will you still love me - and want to keep me - when things are really difficult?'

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

PROVE THAT YOU LOVE ME…

As long as we are doing this testing behavior we are still living in our pasts when the balance of power was not in our favor!

Parents have ultimate power.

In grade school it's teachers…

During adolescence it's a teeter-totter - boy/girlfriend up… boy/girlfriend down…

In a perfect world we would have used this one up by the time we head off into the grown up world, right?

So, this exercise is real simple:

Next time you find yourself, or someone else 'testing' - acting out in that particularly pushing/prodding way - yes, we might call it obnoxious or maybe sometimes even passive/aggressive…

Next time ask yourself:

Who has the power?

And is this a healthy way to deal with it?

TO COMMENT CLICK BELOW

PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT… ONE MORE TIME!

Kids do it…

Pets do it…

Are you doing it?

Check it out - does this sound familar?

"If he really loved me, he'd…"

"If she really cares it wouldn't matter that I…"

Uh huh…

How about:  If you really cared, maybe you'd stop with this crazy testing behavior and deal with your own 'mishegas' (psych speak for unfinished insecurity from high school).

What do ya say?

Is this stuff old or what?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - UPSEY DAISY!

Let's face it - for all of us there are times when it feels like it is all falling down around us, right?

What's important is to acknowledge the impact of the crash!

Yeah, it can feel overwhelming.  That's real life.  What we want to avoid is playing tough, and then wondering why we are feeling down!

It's natural to feel like hiding under the bed, it's part of our nature to feel like it's not fair, or to look at other peoples' lives (from the outside) and decide that they have it easier…

What is not healthy is to start bullying ourselves at these times - the old standbys: 'It's your own fault', 'You deserve it' - you know this list, right?  Really toxic!    

Check it out and listen for it.  Life is hard enough without that pile on!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

FOUR STEPS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DOWNTIMES:

1)  Acknowledge the tough stuff!

2)  Make a list of what's getting to you.

3)  Release tension:

   Play victim!  Yes, really get into it!  

    Remember the operative word is 'play'!  

This means exaggeration!  Try howling.  A good 'AOOOOO!' straight out of the wolf playbook tends to help!  

Your goal here is to release some of the tension that we tend to feel during these times.  And if you can create a good laugh, so much the better!

4)  Finally do something!  

During these high stress times we sometimes feel paralyzed, so you are again looking to release the tied up energy by movement - go for a walk, sing a song… it doesn't have to be something that solves the problem!

DOWN IN THE DUMPS SOME?

"Okay," he said.  "I was doing fine… not the best time in my life, but I was getting by… I had a few little projects, you know, weight loss, home upgrades, staying on top of things…"

"And then - poof! - one after another, they all came tumbling down!:

"No more weight loss, actually 3 pounds up, my assistant quit, I saw paperwork crashing around my head, someone was creating an obstacle course in the hallway, and some serious weirdo was leaving really scary notes on the building's bulletin board: 

'You are being watched…'

Oookay…

"Oh, yeah, and then I twisted my ankle hopping over all that stuff in the hall…"

"But really, what I don't understand is why I feel so down…"

Is he serious?

What do ya say?

Can you top this one?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HONORING EACH DAY

What does it mean to honor the day?

Certainly, not pretending to be happy if you're not.  Actually, not pretending at all!

But rather, finding something that allows you to close your eyes at the end of the day with a sense of satisfaction; a feeling that you were able to suck the juice that was available, and come away richer for it.

Maybe you learned something about yourself you really like - or maybe you banged into a corner of your being that needs some fixing - no matter - as long as you tuned into that something - in you, or in the world around you - it was a good day!

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

RULE #1 TO GET THE RICHNESS FROM EACH DAY: DROP THE BULLY VOICE!

Coming at you from the corners of the universe, that negative invitation to 'should' yourself to death is a non-starter - the biggest waste of your moments!

When you hear it coming:

"Why did you…!"

"You should have…!"

"Nobody will like you if you…!"

PLUG YOUR EARS AND PUSH BACK!

This is one time when harsh words are acceptable:

"Back off!"

"Get lost!"

"Shut up!"

And the good old 3 year old standby of sticking out your tongue works too!

This voice, whether it is external from friends, teachers, parents, or internal from our own minds - is not helpful and always counter-productive.

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a mini-meditation:                                                                   

Http://tinyurl.com/minimeditations

  

A MOMENT IN TIME…

Once upon a time a woman was on her way to work and BOOM! 

Someone ran a red light and took off the front of her car.

WHOA!

The first thing that went through her mind with that intense impact was:

"OMG I had that awful fight with my brother last night and if I die now that moment will stay  with him forever…"

Needless to say it was a major wake-up call about living each day as it if just might be the last…

This past week we learned of two deaths that occurred almost simultaneously - one of a woman reaching the 100 year old mark and another of an 18 year old boy…

And then the shocking loss of 8 lives in the Amtrak train crash on Tuesday May 12.

What do ya say?

What does living each day as if it could be your last mean for you?

To comment click below

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - EMOTIONAL BOMB SHELTERS

How do you protect yourself from indirect emotional hits - better known as passive aggressive attacks?

Remember they tend to come out of the blue and take us by surprise, which is part of their power.

Can we tune into the high pitched sound of incoming loads about to be dropped on our heads?

The answer is yes!  

The sound - in this case tone of voice, the words - often setting up the attack with excuses and justifications: 

"I don't mean to bother you but…"

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but…"

And yes, the word 'but' is a big giveaway.

Facial expression is another great clue - check out smiles combined with those 'apologetic' words.

And finally, how you feel as the bomb drops on your head.  Short of breath?  Tight muscles?  Nauseas?  All signs of an indirect bomb hit!

Once you start tuning into the rhythm and signs of these attacks they become really obvious and you can learn to duck!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

LEARNING TO DUCK…

Here are some easy 'get-away' lines to use once you recognize an incoming bomb:

"Oops!  The phone's (the doorbell's) ringing.  Gotta go!"

"Oh my gosh!  I just realized I'm running late for…Gotta go!"

"Oops!  Gotta go!  Major stomach attack!"

You get the idea - give yourself permission to get out of the path of that nasty incoming attack!

Please share your thoughts.  To comment just click below…

INCOMING… INDIRECT HITS!

Do you know what these are?

Can you see them coming?

Can you duck?

These emotionally lethal sneak attacks are designed to get under your defensive shield…and tend to be highly effective!

Check it out:

"My daughter called me at midnight," this 65 year old woman reported. 

"She was ranting about her son, who I love.  She went into great detail about every little flaw he has.  She supposedly wanted my help, but she didn't listen to a word I said and of course after she finally hung up I was up all night!"

Hmmm…

What do you think was the purpose of the daughter's call?

Do you think maybe the daughter just might have been angry… with her mother?

I mean, really?  Midnight?

What do ya say?

Ever been the recipient of an indirect hit?

Ever use this technique yourself?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~