Seeing a situation with clarity - what is truly our input and what belongs to the other guy is what allows us to move forward and make changes that increase our satisfaction with life.
If we blame the other guy, we can't fix things. We can move on, but most likely we move on to the same situation wearing a different face.
On the other hand, if we take all the blame, and especially if we chastise ourselves, once again, nothing changes!
As counter-intuitive as it might seem, criticism tends to block rather than aid, personal evolution!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...
AN AWARENESS EXERCISE FOR RELATIONSHIPS ~
FOCUSING ON WHAT IS REAL AND WHAT IS IMAGINED:
Try this series of sentences when you are feeling stuck or confused about what is going on in a current relationship:
First check in with what you are aware of.
I am aware that __________this would include all the sensations you experience including visual and auditory.
So you might say: 'I am aware that she is looking away when I talk to her.'
Or: 'I am aware that he is constantly looking at his cell phone.'
Next state how this awareness makes you feel:
This might be: "I feel left out and angry.
The next step is what your awareness and the feeling connected to it make you imagine.
This might be: 'I imagine that I am not important to her.'
Next check in with your memory bank and pay attention to what past experiences might be influencing the present experience.
This might be: 'I remember when this happened with my last relationship.'
Or: I remember when this happened with this same relationship before.'
Ask yourself what you can learn about yourself from this situation!
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