GIVING CREDIT – WHERE IT’S DUE!

Don’t you just hate it when someone else gets credit for your work?

Parents get this one all the time –

A kid comes home from school and says:

“Hey, guess what I learned in school today?”

And proceeds to educate you on the fine points of something you’ve only been saying for the last year!  Ugh!

And how about this one:

You tell your girlfriend how wonderful it would make you feel if she’d join you for a run.

Does she listen?

No!

And then – Yup - she comes back from a visit to the doctor and says:

“Hey guess what?  My doctor is so smart!  He had this great idea…”

Do you want to kill her or what?

I bet you can add at least 5 more examples of this one, right?

At least if these ungrateful wretches included you in the credit... 

You know – Something like:

“Hey my doctor agrees with you that I should take up running!”

Or

“Hey  guess what?  My teacher finally caught up with you!  She’s saying exactly what you’ve been telling me for the last …”

Oh, Man, wouldn‘t that feel great!

You know, just a little credit!

What do ya say?  Been there?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – THE SECRET OF DOWNTIME

“The term downtime is used to refer to periods when a system is unavailable. Downtime or outage duration refers to a period of time that a system fails to provide or perform its primary function.” 

The term is commonly applied to networks and servers.” - Wikipedia

Here’s how screwed up we are on this one:

Meditators work at going to a place of ‘downtime’ – allowing the human system to switch to another track…

And kids?  Well, it’s no trouble at all for them.

And yet we scold them and tell them to “stop wasting time…”

Recent studies have shown that downtime is in fact essential to mental processes – an opportunity for the brain to sort and make sense of information and to allow us to resolve internal conflicts and tensions. 

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

Creative people and athletes know the value of down time – shouldn’t you? 

Throw away that bullying voice that says: “Don’t just sit there – do something!”- and tune into your natural wisdom!  Applaud yourself for doing what comes naturally!

Remember:

+Everything that has an ‘on’ switch also needs an ‘off’ switch – otherwise    the ‘machine’ burns out!

+Give yourself permission to shut down!                                                       

+Label downtime as ‘good’ instead of ‘bad’!

+If you give yourself permission to take downtime you will automatically turn back on when your system is recharged!

+You will not get stuck in space!  Stuck comes from fighting against ourselves.

+Trust yourself!

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PICK YOURSELF UP…

“Nothings impossible I have found

For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again …”

Sound familiar?  

Seriously, who wrote this?  

Were they delusional or just trying to make the rest of us feel rotten?

Okay, so it was originally from a musical written by Jerome Kern in 1939 with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  

Remember them?

Maybe they could pick themselves up, although let’s face it, they probably never fell.

But for the rest of us ...

Hey, how about allowing us at least a little flat on the floor time! 

What do ya say?

Don't you just hate those pep talks?



         Tomorrow:  The amazing value of down time!

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SUNDAY SMILES – 3 TIMES A CHARM

So here’s a thought for today:

According to old English Law, anyone who survives three attempts at hanging will be set free…

Allllright!

Now doesn’t it stand to reason that this concept should be expanded…

Let’s see…

Anyone who survives:

3 rotten days in a row…

3 nasty human interactions…

3 pounds up on the scale…

3 …

Well, you get the idea.  

I bet you can add to this list, right?

What do ya say?

Don’t we all deserve to get a break?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – 3 GREAT TIPS FOR DUMPING GUILT

“I have never smuggled anything in my life, why then, do I feel an uneasy sense of guilt on approaching a customs barrier?” – John Steinbeck

Is guilt a part of the human condition?

It certainly has been with us for a long time and permeates society in literature, theater – think Macbeth – and music – Elton John’s “So Sorry...”

The many explanations for guilt include seeing it as both an individual and societal manipulation mechanism.

It is theorized that as a society we use guilt to reinforce our rules and that as individuals we use guilt to control others.

When we experience this feeling in ourselves it often comes from a sense of not living up to expectations and an inflated sense of control that causes us to feel responsible for the misfortunes of others.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

3 GREAT TIPS FOR DUMPING GUILT

1-   Get in touch with your anger!

Often guilty feelings are anger in disguise!  Ask yourself it you might be even a tiny bit angry at the situation that you are feeling guilty about. 

Do something ‘non-toxic’ to release any anger you discover.

2-   Stop thinking you can control it all!

The illusion of control also can lead to feeling guilty.  If we assume that it is all up to us, it becomes our fault if it goes wrong...

A seductive fantasy...but take a deep breath and give it up!

3-   Don’t say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’!

Feeling guilty can be the result of saying ‘yes’ and then not doing whatever you agreed to do.

Give yourself permission to say NO!

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ARE YOU CARRYING A HUGE LOAD?

“What I really hate,” she sighed, “is feeling guilty!” 

“I will go soooo out of my way to avoid doing anything that might make me suffer this rotten feeling!” 

“It is so bad that sometimes I feel paralyzed…"  

"Like for instance, I send an email and don’t get a response right away and just start obsessing about whether I said the wrong thing … Why didn’t they respond?"  

"It must be my fault, right?”

“Ugh!  I would give anything to just be able to dump this awful sense of being wrong…”

Do any of us get away without experiencing the burden of this one?

And how did we get here?

What do ya say?

Do you think this is a ‘natural’ state for us humans?


Tomorrow:  WANT TO DUMP THAT LOAD?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – WHAT’S YOUR IMPACT-ABILITY?

Often people who speak too loudly have hearing problems...

In the same way, we often stomp too hard because we lack awareness of the imprint we are making on those around us.

How have we lost that awareness?

One theory is that when we spoke, cried, smiled softly, in our early years we went unnoticed...

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

EXPERIMENTING WITH IMPACT

Try out these different fantasies to create a new sensory awareness of your impact on the world and those you touch:

Imagine:  Splashing in water – softly... and then really hard!

Imagine:  Diving into a pool – cleanly with almost no sound ... and then making a giant splash!

Imagine:  Squishing in a mud puddle – gentle plops... and then making the mud fly!

Imagine:  Stomping in the snow – softly sinking in ... and then as hard as you can!

By ‘playing’ with these images and superimposing them onto daily interactions we are re-training ourselves on the degree of effort/force necessary to create the results we crave...

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LEAVING TRACES . . . MAKING MARKS

This morning I woke up thinking about footprints…

What kind of footprints do we leave each day on the lives of others?

Do you tread lightly?

Are you heavy footed?

Thinking of footprints is a metaphor that allows us to understand and clearly track the impact that we have on the world around us – on those we love and those we hate…


We easily focus on the effect others have on us… thinking about our footprints allows us to reverse the image and get a real clear sense of our impact on others!



We know from detective stories - CSI and all that - how much can be gleaned from footprints:  not only direction, but also size, weight, sex…

What are your footprints telling the world about you?

What do ya say?  

Is this a fun image to experiment with or what?

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SUNDAY SMILES – LIKE A ZOMBIE

“How are you feeling,” she asked.

“Like a zombie,” I replied.  “. . . but sometimes that seems like a very good place to be!”

“A zombie …The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant …” Wikipedia

Today was definitely one of those days…

It started at the Library… I was putting my returns into one of those bins when a very nicely dressed and normal looking lady walked up to me… and shoved me out of the way! 

“Don’t you know how to share!” she screamed, literally pushing me to the side so that she could put HER books into the slot…

And then there was this guy parked in a no parking taxi pick up zone…  

When I stood next to his car to flag down a cab, he popped out of the driver’s seat and started screaming at me…

“Rude!” he shouted.  “You are so rude!  You did not ask my permission to stand near my car!”

OOOkay…

Did someone say Halloween is right around the corner?

What do ya say?  Have you noticed a strange vibe in the air recently… or is it just me?

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