What does it mean to be 'in control'?
Most of us struggle with this concept.
Where is the balance between being that hated control freak, and on the other hand losing control?
The healthy position - the least stressful and least harmful - seems to be when we realize that, as adults, the only person who we can healthily control is our own self.
We can make decisions about our lives and do our very best to fulfill these desires - we can work to create balance in our lives which might be the best part of being in control of our daily existence.
We can also step back from the 'ing' part of this verb and recognize that we don't and won't get very far trying to take on this task in the lives of others - certainly not once they are past the age of… consent!
Check out these two interesting quotes about control:
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity…. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward." Amelia Earhart
"Control what you can control. Don't lose sleep worrying about things that you don't have control over because, at the end of the day, you still won't have any control over them."
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…
WHERE IS THE LINE BETWEEN HEALTHY CONTROL AND BULLYING?
Think about a time when you felt pushed to do something by another person.
Who did the pushing?
How did you feel about them?
Did you do what they wanted?
How did that make you feel?
Were you able to push back?
How did that feel?
Now think about a time when you were doing the controlling.
How did you feel about the person you were pushing?
Did they listen to you?
Did they appreciate what you were doing?
And finally think about a time that you became rigid in your attempts at self control.
Did you accomplish what you wanted?
How did you end up feeling?
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