At an actual flashing red light most of us are very aware of the danger of proceeding. Car crashes can be lethal!
Are we sometimes tempted? Sure but the potential consequences tend to mitigate any forward momentum…
The interpersonal warning signs tend to be easier to drive through.
We second guess our perception and chastise ourselves for being too harsh.
And then, there's that part of us that likes feeling that our own specialness makes us splatter proof!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…
MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKING
In personal relationships, as long as we leave our Bully voices out of the equation, re-hash sessions are actually useful!
FORMULA FOR A SUCCESSFUL RE-HASH:
1) Describe the 'crash to yourself.
Who were the people involved?
How did you feel?
2) What warning signs did you ignore?
* what others told you
* general gossip
* your observation of this person interacting with others
* subtle hints in your own interactions with this person
3) What would have been the downside of dealing with the warning signs at the time?
* feeling guilty
* feeling self critical
* losing your sense of specialness
* having to walk away instead of waiting for the crash
WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT TIME?