Wednesday, October 21, 2015


There are many moments in life that inevitably cause pain - the emotional pain of saying goodbye, all sorts of loss and betrayals - and the physical pain of illness and injury.

How we deal with these situations determines a lot about our experience of life…

We compound our discomfort when we buy into the Bully voice - either from others or our own internal Bully.

This 'Voice' leads us to believe that what is going on is because of our own 'stupid' actions and that the pain will never end!

Typical Bully refrains go like this:
* It's your fault
* You made a really bad mistake!
* You deserve this!
* You should never have (fill in the blank)…
* You should have (fill in the blank)…

We learn this voice - we hear it from an early age and we begin to incorporate it in our own 'mantras'.

We can also learn to recognize and divorce ourselves from its toxic effects!

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Ask yourself these questions:

1) What actually happened?
+ someone was nasty to me
+ someone died
+ I got sick
+ I fell
2) What is the actual cost to me?
+ I am alone
+ I hurt emotionally
+ I hurt physically
3) What do I feel?
+ Angry
+ Sad
+ Lonely
+ Silly
+ Lost

4) What has the Bully - external or internal - told me?
+ You made a big mistake!
+ You made a stupid choice!
+ You didn't see it coming!
+ You are stupid!
+ You should have known better!

1-3 are reality... 
#4 is a learned response.  
You don't have to listen!

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