SERIOUSLY SPEAKING
It was long believed that an intense release of emotion led to catharsis – the Greek word for cleansing and purification.
Recent research, however, argues that this type of aggressive behavior, especially without cognitive processing, actually increases arousal levels – that is – it seems to make things worse!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...
What are we looking for when we “vent” and how can we get it without creating 'space pollution'?
We are really looking for affirmation – someone to say:
“You’re right! What happened to you is terrible! What a horrible person/event! Poor you! Of course none of that was your fault! A gem like you never deserves anything like that!”
Unfortunately, the more you vent the less likely you are to get what you’re looking for. The truth is, people tune out in order to protect themselves from getting “slimed”.
So, how do you release that whirling tornado of anger that’s dying to come out?
Easy! Say those words you want to hear to yourself!
Give it a try: “You’re right! What happened to you is so annoying. You do not deserve to be treated like that! None of what happened was your fault! They should all be crawling on their knees begging your forgiveness…”
Ok, maybe getting a little carried away here, but if it gets you to laugh or even smile you are releasing that pent up energy in a healthy way.
What do ya say? Have any good ones to share?
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I never thought of myself as a 'venter' but after I read your post I started paying attention. I was pretty surprised at how many times I've done this without realizing it.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteI think venting is an important thing to do, but I think you've got to choose your audience very carefully, and to be honest with the person why you are doing it. The mistake I've made in venting, even to the right people, is doing it in the wrong way. Instead of being honest and saying, "I'm sorry I'm grouchy, but here's what behind all this" I just vented away. I've lost friendships this way. Thanks for your blog. It's a good way to get the brain working constructively, I think!
ReplyDeleteJT