SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HONORING BALANCE SHIFTS…

We can think about transitions as balance shifts…

Imagine yourself moving from one stepping stone to another - there's a moment when you are on one foot and then your weight shifts and the other foot comes into contact with the next stone.

In that instant of shift we are momentarily off balance - an experience that can be literally unsettling…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Make a list of some of the mini-transitions you might go through in the course of a day…

These could include:

*  Sleep to waking

*  Alone to with others

*  Silent to noisy

*  Sick to well

Now ask yourself how these mini shifts might affect you.

+ How have you handled them in the past?

+ Maybe you've never recognized the transition?

+ What feelings may have been triggered?

How might recognizing these shifts help you?

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TRANSITIONS

We all know about all those major life passages, right? 

You know - growing up, changing grades in school, leaving home, relationship upheavals, changing jobs … all those big shifts.

And we expect to have to deal...

But have you ever stopped to think about all the mini-transitions?

Those small steps from A to B, not just the major A to Z ones?

Think about it...

Even during the course of a day, can you feel the gears shifting?

What do ya say?

Ever stop to think that maybe that's what some of those mood swings are about? 

And maybe the feeling is pretty normal?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - REMOVING RUST…

So to stretch a metaphor… rust in nature is a flaky coating that forms on iron or steel which eventually eats through the core metal and weakens it…

What creates our own rusty coatings?

When we allow our inner core to get covered over by negative beliefs, words, and experiences that create corrosion if they are not cleaned away!

We all have pretty good ideas of what our tarnished feelings are - usually they are made up of anger and criticism, bullying by others or ourselves that has accumulated over the years.

Like rust in nature, removing these overlays is not only possible but leads to enhanced value and strength, empowering us and allowing our intrinsic beauty to shine through.

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

EMOTIONAL RUST REMOVAL 102

With physical rust we use chemicals and sweat equity - with our emotional rust we use the wonderful power of our minds to provide both the cleansing products and the muscle…

Check it out:  Try these DIY steps:

First:  Name the rusty places.  You know what they are. 

Two hints:  You keep going back over an event again and again.  It seems like the same type of thing keeps happening.

The mechanics of removal:

1)  Try imaginary dialogs with the 'offending' person, event, or part of yourself.  Give each element a voice.  You can use your hands facing each other a 'puppets' to represent each element of the dialog.  Keep going until you feel a shift… You'll know it when it happens.

2)  Use fantasy to release anger.  Imagine a tsunami washing away that corrosive moment in time.  Imagine a giant elephant uprooting a bad memory and tossing it away… you get the drift…
This allows us to use our imagination to release negative stored thoughts and images.  If you can reach the 'giggle point' you know you've nailed it!

3)  Focused deep breathing and physical exercise.   These are really great for cleaning out the goop!  Be aware of consciously releasing the old and making space for the new!

4)  Shine it up!  Once you remove the corrosion you can sparkle by thanking yourself and congratulating yourself for a job well done!  This is an important part of the process.  It reinforces the value of the work and effort you have expended to create a clean path for going forward!

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AN INVITATION…

Certain holidays officially celebrate letting go and making whole, including valuable rituals that create open space on our emotional path.

Holding onto old business can create a tear in the fabric of our being, so these sacred moments in time are about releasing the outdated parts of our stories.

You can't really fake it - that just compounds the chaos and adds to the bumpy road.

It's about having the courage to dig in and down - to find the rusty places that need cleaning out and releasing them!

We hope that this Blog aides in this process and invite all of you to courageously step into this space!

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SAY… WHAT?

"You are so uncompromising!" he declared uncompromisingly.

"Every time I say how something should be, you disagree!"

Incredible…

"You are so stubborn!" he continued.

"Every time I tell you what to do, you say 'no'!  Really stubborn…"

Heh… heh… heh…

Ever try to get through to one of these people?

The dialog goes something like this:

"Excuse me!  How come I'm uncompromising just because I don't agree with you?"

"You see, "they respond," look how incredibly uncompromising and stubborn you are!"

Ever want to wring someone's neck?

Ever feel like you are travelling in a parallel universe?

The Jewish Holidays this time of year invite us to resolve our unfinished business and get good with ourselves, with others and with God… 

One and three seem pretty do-able, but sometimes I wonder about #2…

What do ya say?

Do you think it's possible to get through to these people?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S AN EMOTIONAL LAND MINE?

Check this out:

"A land mine is device concealed under or on the ground and designed to destroy or disable enemy targets as they pass over or near it.

Such a device is typically detonated automatically by way of pressure.  

A land mine may cause damage by direct blast effect, by fragments that are thrown by the blast, or by both."   read more

Can you see how this definition easily applies to emotional land mines? 

We are talking about those hidden, booby trapped - often buried right under the surface - pitfalls and hazards in ourselves and others, just waiting to be detonated!

We can think of them as the unexpected and suddenly triggered emotional explosions that can wreak havoc on our lives!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CREATE YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL MINE SWEEPER

Obviously seeing all the hidden emotional landmines is an impossibility!

The idea is to be prepared with a receptacle that can absorb the detonation without getting shattered yourself!  

To do this, build your very own imaginary device that can catch those explosions as they happen…

Remember:  You are creating something that works for you.  You might not see the buried mine, but you will always be able to see and hear the explosion!  These mine sweepers engulf the explosion and protect you! 

It is a metaphoric device - but it works as well as you allow it to!

What does your emotional mine sweeper look like?  Is it large or small?

What substance it is made of?  This can be either a real material or an imaginary conglomeration of atoms… As long as you perceive its protective quality!

Does your mine sweeper make a sound?  Loud?  Quiet?  Buzzing?

This is your opportunity to be an Engineer creating something that you will use  - think about what you need!

This 'exercise' is designed to reinforce the understanding that you don't have to absorb the blow created by other people's land mines!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DOING THE UNEXPECTED

Sometimes we get stuck - in a rut, in a box - and changing things up, doing the unexpected creates a way out!

A lot of the time we don't even realize that we are operating on remote control, but when something out of the ordinary happens - to us or by us - it can create a wake up call that takes us out of our robot energy into a world of the senses…

When you start laughing at the unexpected you catch your breath and experience the world anew!

SHANA TOVA!

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

DOING IT!

*Imagine 3 situations where behavior is predictable and tightly controlled. 

Perhaps in a classroom?  A hospital setting?  On the street?  At a family dinner?  In a restaurant?

It is amazing when we stop to think about it, how many rules we surround ourselves with…

*Now imagine yourself acting outside the box… breaking the predictable rules.

Are you having trouble with this?  This is a fantasy, so have at it!

What happens to you as you do this?

Can you push it to the point of the ridiculous?  Can you go to silly?  Outrageous?

Can you perhaps feel an expansion of possibilities?

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WHOOF! WOOF!

So, I was getting an x-ray and in the process of moving from one position to another - turning this way and that - I let out a gentle, "Whoof"….

The x-ray tech was somewhat startled.

"Uh," he asked tentatively.  "Did you just say 'woof'?"

Oops!

Caught!

"Well," I started explaining, backpedaling furiously.  I mean, I didn't want the guy to think I was… weird or anything.

"It was actually 'Oof'.  You know, like in Martial Arts when you make a sound as you expel your breath to get a little extra momentum…"

He looked at me with one of those strange smiles.

Yep.  This was really helping.

But here's the interesting thing.  Before this interaction this guy was 100% all business.  And afterwards?

So kind.  So helpful.

He even took me into his little booth, showing me the x-rays and explaining what I was looking at.

It seems changing up the energy, even accidentally, can create some interesting results!

What do ya say?

Can you think of some examples?

Can you create some?

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EMOTIONAL LAND MINES

Once upon a time, in a land of archeological treasures, there was a 'dig' at the top of a plateau.

Early every morning, before anyone headed up to the site, a giant mine sweeper went back and forth over the road to the top.  

Unfortunately this was a necessary precaution since the area was riddled with landmines! 

Now, don't you think it would be amazing if we knew where the undetonated land mines were in our relationships with others?

And really, can you imagine an emotional mine sweeper?

What do ya say?

Can you get behind this image?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

It's tempting to think everyone else follows the same rules as you do… and to attempt to comprehend their behavior from your own standpoint.

In reality, though we are all human, our experiences, beliefs and upbringing tend to have a lot to do with our 'ground rules' for interacting with others.

Making assumptions that anyone else - even someone raised in the same family - operates by the same guidelines as you do, can create tremendous problems.

If you think about it, this belief of sameness is truly a guaranteed way to get your feelings hurt! 

A big part of taking care of yourself is recognizing that others don't necessarily act the same way you do.

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about 6 people you know - 2 family members, 2 friends, 2 casual acquaintances…

Now take a moment to think about some of the ways you are similar to each of these people.  Maybe some values you have in common or some of the ways that you each treat others.

Think about some of the ways you are dissimilar.  In your values?  In your interactions with others?

Ask yourself whether you have been honest, in the past, about how you are different from each of these people and how that has affected these relationships? 

Do you think if you had been more realistic about your dissimilarities things might have turned out in another way?  Would your interactions with these people have been easier for you? 

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WHAT? IT ISN'T ME?

"If it were me," he stated categorically, "I would never…"

"If it were me," she insisted, "I would always…"

"And how come," they both demanded, "these other people didn't do what I would!?"

"What's their problem?"

Well… maybe… just maybe… it has something to do with:  

THEY AREN'T YOU!

What do ya say?

Do you really get this one?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE COST OF INNOCENCE

Being naïve is lauded in our songs … and might be nice in a moment… but is not a healthy life strategy!

In order to maintain this stance one has to ignore all the clues - remember that line:  "Oh, Grandma!  What big teeth you have!"

In our fairy tales this innocence and naivety is rewarded with the advent of the handsome prince or princess and the pot of gold.

Reality is closer to feeling gob smacked!  Would you really want to kiss a frog?   

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Accepting real as a positive experience means:

*  Giving up on being a fairy prince or princess

*  Getting it that the guy couldn't really climb up that tower on Rapunzel's  hair      remember this one?

*  A kiss never turns a frog into a prince

*  Ants don't always win over grasshoppers

*  Helping others isn't always the way into their hearts

Now take any of those myths you grew up with and turn them on their heads and see what happens.

What do you feel?

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