What causes us to internalize our parent's voices, especially those negative,
critical statements?
Here's a thought: Anthropologists used to believe that Cannibals would
eat only the most powerful of their vanquished enemies, thereby internalizing
that power…
Perhaps children do something similar?
Or perhaps when we are little we are in a constant state of 'hypnotic
trance' absorbing the sound bytes that come our way, internalizing them and then
pulling them out to use on ourselves at given times?
We seem to apply these internalized negative phrases to ourselves in
moments of high stress, fear and anxiety - which might be exactly the
conditions that were present in the moments that we learned them.
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun ideas...
DE-FUSING
THOSE INTERNALIZED SOUND BYTES…
First: Identify the voice
Can you teach
yourself to catch that negative message as it 'plays'?
Pay attention to
changes in your body posture. Can you
feel the shift in the way you stand?
Pay attention to the
internal tone of your voice. Does it
suddenly seem 'louder'? More strident?
Next: Ask yourself what situations trigger that
nasty self-criticism.
Some of the
possibilities might be:
Stress
Performance
Disappointment
Fear
Anxiety
Finally: Have a conversation with the internalized
voice.
Play it out loud. Try exaggeration. Sing to it - Check out the Rolling Stones, "Get
off of my Cloud" .
The idea is to help you recognize that
something has triggered an old, very useless piece of noise that can only cause
interference in the present!
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