Why do people set emotional bear traps?
Perhaps because they're angry and believe the trap is the only way they can get what they want - POWER!
Here's the trap setting modus operandi:
Trappers feel anger which for them equals a loss of power. This creates frustration and the setting of the trap. The trapper uses seduction with hints of positive outcomes as the bear is coaxed into the snare… and snap! GOTCHA!
At this point the trapper experiences a sense of joy often disguised as remorse and feigned surprise at the 'unexpected' whimpering of that poor bear…
And the bear?
The bear wonders what the f*ck happened and how it got into this ridiculous situation!
Bear trapping is a nasty sport!
Obviously, it hurts the bear as it's designed to …
But it also limits the emotional expansion of the trapper.
Think about it…
Vengeance and retribution - the ingredients of bear trapping - freeze the ability of the trapper to move past the negative feelings that they are reacting to and keep them trapped in their own morass!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...
GETTING OUT OF THE TRAP IN FIVE STEPS
Step 1 - Awareness is the key.
See it for what it is! Someone is angry at you and instead of having the guts to deal with their anger in a healthy, healing way, they set you up to take a fall - NOT NICE!
Step 2 - Let it go.
So, they got you… Hey, it was obviously super important to them or they would not have made the effort and truthfully, they are showing you that they are not worth your time and energy!
Step 3 - You can't fix it - so don't try!
These people are - at least in this part of their lives - stuck at age 3! If you attempt to reason with them remember who you are talking to - a 3 year old! And how reasonable are they?
Step 4 - Suffering does not help!
They have to figure out a way to resolve their own feelings - you do not help them by suffering!
Step 5 - Pat yourself on the back.
Even if it's after the event, pat yourself on the back for recognizing the game - and be happy that at least you can move on!
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