Why is this such an insidious issue and why
does it seem to be so deeply caustic?
One possible answer might be our response to
betrayal:
"How could I be so stupid?"
And the often ensuing chorus from friends and
family:
"We always knew he/they/ it was bad
news!"
So the torment of a broken promise is often
highly intensified by the self- castigation that follows:
"How could I miss what was going on?"
What would happen if we let ourselves off the
hook on this one?
Which do you think creates more suffering -
feeling it is our own fault, or feeling totally out of control if it isn't?
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun
ideas...
RECOVERY FROM BETRAYAL
1) Remember regardless of your
imperfect judgment, what the other person did was THEIR CHOICE - NOT YOURS!
2) Accept imperfection - yours
and theirs. See this as an opportunity
to evolve - maybe some of your old beliefs could use revamping?
3) Don't punish - LEARN!
Imagine you can watch a movie of this story. Watch it the first time emotionally. Get into it and enjoy the angst and
suffering - (did I really say that?!)
Now watch it the second time as an objective observer. What do you see?
Be a detective and catch the clues that you might have missed when it
was actually happening or, and this is equally important, see how easily these
clues would be invisible to anyone!
4) Forgive - yourself and them.
You just learned something which makes you smarter than you were and
opens new doors for the future!
5) Make a choice about how you want to proceed. You can choose to walk away, just remember, holding onto the injustices and betrayals weighs
us down. Allow yourself to fly!
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