SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GOING DOWN FOR THE THIRD TIME

 There's a great song by the Supremes "Going Down for the Third Time"…   Fun to listen to, awful to do! 

check it out

Remember that saying, "Insanity is doing the same behavior again and again and expecting different results…"

So what keeps us normally well adjusted humans hooked in to this crazy belief that sooner or later banging our heads against that same old wall will actually make a difference? 

Well, we do have a strong value on persistence in our culture - maybe that's part of it…

And we like to think of ourselves as being optimistic, right?  

And don't forget that whole thing about giving the other guy the benefit of the doubt…

But let's face it, when you're going for thirds on that same non-functional behavior, trying once again to get through to that same resistant person, it just might be time to step back and ask yourself:  Why are you wasting your precious time?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

WHAT'S THE HOOK?

When you find yourself stuck in a bad situation, try asking yourself the following questions:

What would giving up on this situation mean?

What do you think you'd lose?

What do you think walking away would say about you?

What do you think your persistence says about you?

What keeps you from changing your strategy when it isn't working?

How have you been rewarded for hanging on?

How do you think you'd be judged for walking away?

Who are the people who would judge you?

What power do you gain from your persistence?

What power do you lose from staying in a bad situation?

What does letting go really mean for you?

Would you leave the situation or change your expectations?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

GLUG, GLUG, GLUG…

So, we all remember that fable about the scorpion and the turtle, right?

You know, the one where the scorpion asks the turtle to ferry it across the river.  Of course the scorpion, promising to behave, stings the turtle mid-stream…

Remember the punch line?

"Hey, " explains Senor Scorpion to the confused and dying turtle, "what can I say?  It's in my nature…"

So the question for us is: 

How many times have we refused to see our friendly neighborhood scorpions for what they are… and imagined that we and our amazing - love, intelligence, persistence, being on the side of the angels - (pick any or all of the above) - could turn them into cuddly, lovey, cute, sweet…

You know what I'm saying, right?

GLUG, GLUG, GLUG…  

What do ya say? 

Ready to give up on this one?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THANK YOU TOES!

At what age do we begin making that shift from wonder to judgment about our bodies? 

Can you remember?

Maybe a kid at school told you your nose was too big?  And all of a sudden that wonderful nose that could do all those neat things - sniff, sneeze, make weird sounds - changed.

It was no longer perfect.

Maybe you started noticing other noses and began a 'nose competition'… You know, who had the 'better' nose…

  

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

CHECK OUT THIS INTERESTING WAY TO CHANGE BODY AWARENESS:

The idea is to focus on the parts of your body in a non-judgmental way...

Breathing deeply, start with you toes. 

Look at them.  

Can you wiggle them?  Try it. 

Now bend them up and bend them down. .. Watch the way they move.  

Actually pretty amazing, isn't it?

What would life be like without toes?

Say "Thank you toes - you are part of the miracle that allows me to stand."

Now continue through the rest of your body. 

Imagine you are one of those aliens from another planet observing how the human body works.  Intriguing… 

Anytime you become judgmental (bullying- mean!) or start making comparisons with someone else (competition- yikes!)  give yourself a little imaginary shake and say "Stop it!"

This is about appreciation for the miracle of these bodies that take us through the day!

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

THE WONDER OF IT ALL. . .

Remember the last time you looked at your fingers or toes and marveled at how amazing they are?

No?

Not surprising. 

Most of us give up that sense of wonder at such an early age that it is hard to remember!

Maybe we see a little baby gurgling as it wiggles those tiny digits and for a moment we re-experience that delight… that amazing internal giggle… remember? 

Feel it?

What do ya think?

What could cause us to lose this priceless sense of awe?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SUNDAY SMILES - BAD NEWS?

You know how people complain that the news is always bad?

Well, the lead story this morning was … hysterical!

Seems these sweet nephews bought their 96 year old uncle a cake for his birthday.  Nice, right?

Uncle thought it tasted kind of strange…

On inspection they noticed - don't ask how they had missed seeing this sooner - but there it was - a rat's tail sticking out of the bottom of the cake!

And no, I am not making this up!  check it out!

Ok, maybe not everyone would think this was funny … but it's been a tough winter and we have to get our laughter wherever we can…

What do ya say?

Got any funny stories to share?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CURING THE WINTER BLUES

There is a big difference between temporary wipe-out and more serious depression.  

One difference is how long the feeling lasts and another is the intensity of the feeling. 

We can use a color test to check in with ourselves - Depression is BLACK while the blues are - well - BLUE!

Here are some easy distinctions from WebMD:

"Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

Do you have symptoms of clinical depression? Sure, most of us feel sad, lonely, or depressed at times. And feeling depressed is a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or an injured self-esteem. 

But when these feelings become overwhelming and last for long periods of time, they can keep you from leading a normal, active life. That's when it's time to seek medical help."

read more

Remember:  Even our electronic devices run down if we don't re-charge the batteries. . .

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

BURNT OUT?  DOWN IN THE DUMPS?  CHECK THESE OUT:

If you recognize why you are feeling down:

          

          Tired?

          Worn out?

          Winter blues?

          Burning the candle at both ends?

You can avoid:

          

1.  Panicking about the feeling - "OMG what's wrong with me?"
2.  Taking it out on others by biting their heads off.
3.  Taking it out on yourself by triggering your Bully
4.  Doing non-productive things to try to feel better:  over eating, over drinking, over pushing… you know the rest of the list!
5.  Probably even that lurking cold that often follows...

And then you can take remedial measures:

          

          REST!

          Re think your schedule for the coming week

          Balance work and play/ people and alone time

          Maybe even - short term of course! -

          back off a little on all the electronics?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

WINTER BLUES…

"Today I wanted to crawl under the covers and hang out there all day… or maybe until Spring finally shows up…" she smiled wistfully.

"Ugh," she continued, "but I had places to go, things to do…"

               

Sound at all familiar?

Is it ok to have a down day, you know, one of those days when you don't feel like setting the world on fire - or doing anything at all?

After all … kids get snow days, right?

         

What do ya say?

Play hokey, anyone?   

check it out

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below.  

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - RECOVERING FROM BETRAYAL

 Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship…Often betrayal is … a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others.   read more

Why is this such an insidious issue and why does it seem to be so deeply caustic?

One possible answer might be our response to betrayal:

"How could I be so stupid?"

And the often ensuing chorus from friends and family: 

"We always knew he/they/ it was bad news!"

So the torment of a broken promise is often highly intensified by the self- castigation that follows: 

"How could I miss what was going on?"

What would happen if we let ourselves off the hook on this one?

Which do you think creates more suffering - feeling it is our own fault, or feeling totally out of control if it isn't?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

RECOVERY FROM BETRAYAL

1)  Remember regardless of your imperfect judgment, what the other person did was THEIR CHOICE - NOT YOURS!

2)  Accept imperfection - yours and theirs.  See this as an opportunity to evolve - maybe some of your old beliefs could use revamping?

3)  Don't punish - LEARN!

Imagine you can watch a movie of this story.  Watch it the first time emotionally.  Get into it and enjoy the angst and suffering - (did I really say that?!)   

Now watch it the second time as an objective observer.  What do you see?

Be a detective and catch the clues that you might have missed when it was actually happening or, and this is equally important, see how easily these clues would be invisible to anyone!

4)  Forgive - yourself and them. 

You just learned something which makes you smarter than you were and opens new doors for the future!

5)  Make a choice about how you want to proceed.  You can choose to walk away, just remember, holding onto the injustices and betrayals weighs us down.  Allow yourself to fly!

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

WHAT IS… BETRAYAL?

How could they do this to me!!!

He lied!

She cheated!

The things they told me weren't true!

They promised one thing and did another!

BETRAYAL ...

We react with shock and angst to this - one of the deepest of wounds. 

Remember that great line:  "Et tu, Brute?"

Our struggles to understand this act of treachery abound in literature and drama from the Greek Tragedies - think Jason and Media - through Shakespeare - Hamlet and Macbeth - all the way through to Frankenstein's cruel betrayal of his monster…

Although done by the other guy, betrayal seems to make us question all our own beliefs and values.

What do ya think?

Why is this behavior so unsettling and how can we recover?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com