SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DREAMING 2015

While the concept of a New Year is clearly an artificial construct - let's face it - time is a fluid, basically non-stop-able reality - this concept has been around for a very long time and clearly serves a function for us humans…

We get to step back and get that bird's eye view of a particular period of our lives - the last 12 months - to think about, evaluate, make a picture that helps us see or maybe create the pattern of our lives…

And as we move into the next year we get to spend a day dreaming of the 12 months to come… creating images and patterns that we hope to step into…

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."  - Confucius

 And from the Desiderata by Max Ehrman…

"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here..."   read more

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ENVY AND THE PLOTKIN DIAMOND…

Remember this old joke:

A woman was wearing a beautiful diamond the size of a pigeon egg.  Everyone was green with envy.    

"This," she informed them, "is the famous Plotkin Diamond."

"Unfortunately, it comes with a terrible curse…" 

Of course everyone wanted to know the curse…

The woman answered in one word:  "Plotkin."

So, the moral of this story is, the next time you turn green looking at your neighbor's goodies, ask yourself:

Would you really want Plotkin?

What do ya say? 

Do you remember to look at the whole picture?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - REFLECTIONS ON THE LIGHT

How do you bring light into your personal darkness?

The darkness around you?

When we take steps to heal ourselves we are also taking steps to heal the world…

The more aware you are - the brighter the light you shed and reflect!  Each little spark joins and strengthens the one light…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

THE PRACTICE OF AWARENESS

Check out this simple - actually fun - exercise…

Take a few minutes and say:

"Now I am aware of ________ " (something external - a sound, something you see, anything using your 5 senses)

And now, using the same formula, switch to an internal awareness:

"Now I am aware of ________" ( how I am feeling, sensations in my body, the fullness or restriction of my breathing…)

What do you experience as you do this?  It's also fun to do with a partner - take turns saying 'Now I am aware of' and see what happens…

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY - A MANTRA

"I have choices in how I react to anything around me… I may have knee-jerk reactions (usually old stuff) but I can bring more light into my world by stepping back and making a conscious choice today!"

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CARRY THE LIGHT

WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN BRINGING LIGHT INTO THE DARKNESS?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CAN YOU GET DIVERSITY?

We are aware of 'Cultures' as related to others, especially a group we might consider exotic and different from us, but the word also applies to the rules within our own families, our neighborhoods and cities…

The ability to discern the influences of the culture we grow up in allows us not to be controlled by them, to be judicious and conscious about what we throw away and what we hold onto...

We are often more restricted by the rules of our cultural groups than we realize.  Awareness creates personal choice and often frees us from limitations that we might not have even been aware of!

During this winter holiday season it is particularly important to be aware of the diversity of our world.  Most cultures seem to have celebrations to bring light into the winter darkness, but it is important to realize that we don't all do it the same way!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS       An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

CULTURAL AWARENESS 101

What are the cultural rules you grew up with?

Rules are the norms, the often unstated group agreements about behavior…

Make a list of the 'rules' of your family about:

Hospitality and generosity

Money and income

Profession

Learning and schooling

Friendships and partnerships

What was expected of  you in order to fit in?

How about the rules of your neighborhood?

Your  gang?

Your city?

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CULTURE STUCK?

A friend was coming over to visit at noon.

"Lunch?"  I asked.

"No, just coffee," she said…

Hmmmm…

In my culture hospitality equals abundance.  The table has to be full and you have to encourage whole-hearted participation…

You know … "Eat!  Eat!"

Now with this friend that second part would not be generous!  It would actually feel invasive…

How to resolve this dilemma?  Be true to my cultural generosity mandate or respect my guest?

What do ya say?

What would you do?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CELEBRATING THE LIGHT

It's important to remember - and celebrate - the people who have been kind to us. 

We tend to commit to memory and sometimes dwell upon the dark side - all those nasty, unhappy, mean moments in our lives…  Balancing it out by remembering the light is crucial to our well being!

And yes, those people exist in all of our lives - sometimes only a moment - a smile when we needed it…

Think about how much time you focus on the negative … can you give equal show time to the other side?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

FOCUSING ON THE UPSIDE…

We are clearly not talking about making believe that 'life is just a bowl of cherries…'  We've all had our share of nasties… 

But:

Our focus is BALANCE! 

So to keep the equilibrium going:

Think back over your life and look for the smiles…

Can you remember those moments of kindness?

Make a list of people who, over the years, have brought compassion and thoughtfulness into your life.   

A teacher?  A babysitter?  Someone on the street?  On a bus? 

You get what this is about, right?  Moments count!

Now imagine that you can have a conversation with those people - some of them total strangers - and tell them that what they did had an impact on you - even if it was just in that moment. 

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MR. SWEET

Once upon a time, in a land far away, actually a small burg in upstate New York, a young girl was sitting in the back of a classroom quietly crying…

She was a good student.  She really worked at it, but she was in extremis! 

It was final exam time and that paper in front of her was torment!  None of it made sense!  Weird symbols that were getting weirder as they blurred with her tears…

The teacher, yes, his name really was Mr. Sweet, had been watching her with concern.  He was not only a compassionate human but he also loved math and just couldn't stand his beloved material being so poorly received…

He pulled up a chair next to the girl and tried - really tried - to point out the beauty and simplicity of his wonderful Algebra…

Showing her with great enthusiasm how easy it all was, he proceeded to do - and ace - her final exam…

A half century has passed and that girl is still grateful to this exceedingly kind human. 

She went on to ace many exams over the years but the biggest lesson she learned that day was understanding that all of us have limitations and reaching out with compassion changes a person's live forever!

What do ya say?

Ever had a Mr. Sweet in your life?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TURNING YOUR SKY BLUE…

What allows us to deal with life's exigencies - all those ups and downs - without falling apart?

 

Ever hear that song?  You know, "Blue Skies"? 

In the song  ("Blue skies smilin' at me / Nothin' but blue skies do I see / Bluebirds singin' a song / Nothin' but bluebirds all day long…")  Full lyrics  the singer is referring to being in love, but the non-romantic answer might be related, at least in part, to the physiological and psychological response that being in love creates - a heady combination of hormones and elevated self-esteem!

Today we are learning more and more about the impact that the release of certain hormones has on our well-being - the connection between our moods and the release of these hormones - and all the things we can do pro-actively to trigger this response.   

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO CHANGE THAT FROWN INTO A SMILE?

Try some of these and let us know what happens…

1)  First put yourself into the proper frame of mind…

Tell yourself "I am taking steps in my own healing."

3)  Read inspirational stories - remember we all get inspiration in different ways - yours might be from a funny movie…

4)  Try some of the 'feel better' modalities - self hypnosis, meditation and visualization are all fascinating things to experiment with. 

   

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BLUE SKYS…

"I have a friend," he told me, "that has had so many difficult things happen to him… and the s.o.b. is still smiling!"

"I just don't get it," he continued, shaking his head.

"I have a bad day - just one - and I feel depressed and sorry for myself - not to mention wanting to scream at everyone who crosses my path…"

"Tell me," he asked, continuing to shake his head, "is he in denial, or am I?"

"What's this guys secret?"

What do ya say?

Do you know the answer?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HOOKED?

Why do we get hooked into high maintenance people?

There seems to be something in our culture that equates difficult with high value! 

We have been taught that if we have to jump through hoops to get something (someone) we have attained a great prize. 

We also get hooked in by our own sense that WE can tame the wild horse - that we are so special that only we can please this highly challenging other…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

ARE YOU HIGH MAINTENANCE?  KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS?

What makes people high maintenance? 

Here's a list - check the ones that sound familiar.

_Their world view is lop-sided - they see only their side.

_Their demands are inconsistent and arbitrary.

_They constantly demand 'feeding'.

_They are moody.

_They punish.

_They have strong internal bullies - which they use on others!

_They expect more from others than they give - and tend to see it the other way around.

How many of these did you check?

For your self?

For someone else?

                      
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MOANING AND GROANING…

"So," she whined, "my boyfriend… well actually … now that I think about it, several other people, too …have been complaining about me!" 

"They accuse me of being high maintenance!"

 

"Now what could they possibly mean by that?" 

"Seriously, I have no idea what they are talking about!" 

"Just because I know what I want…okay… always … and yeah, I do get upset if I don't get my way … I mean I am usually right…"

Hmmm…

What do ya say?

Know this lady?

It's not you, right?