THE HUMAN DANCE NEW YEAR'S MANTRA - CELEBRATE!

I WILL CELEBRATE MY HUMANNESS…   (to the tune of: Celebration)

SOMETIMES WE TRIP…

CRASH INTO WALLS…

STEP ON OUR FRIENDS AND PARTNERS TOES…

LOSE OUR WAY…

I WILL CELEBRATE MY HUMANNESS…

AND APPOLOGIZE…

HUG…

LOVE…

LAUGH…

BREATHE DEEPLY…

LEARN AND…

LET GO!

MAY THIS NEW YEAR BE A TIME OF RENEWAL AND REDEDICATION

TO LIFE AND JOY!

HAPPY 2016!

See ya in the New Year!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LET IT GO!

Here's a great New Year's resolution and if you can hold onto an awareness of this one - not perfection, only awareness - life will definitely improve!

How about isolating your mistakes?

You know, seeing what ever it was that you did 'wrong' as a one-off...

What a concept!

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

STOP 'PILING ON' IN 3 EASY STEPS!

1)  Awareness - Sensitize yourself to the sound, rhythm, feel, color, mood that internal 'piling on ' has for you.

2)  Catch yourself in the act - "Ah ha!  I'm doing it!"

3)  Create a mental Stop! sign - This one is the biggie… 

Using sounds is great for this: Remember those BEEPS! When a contestant gave the wrong answer?  

Try it!

PILING ON…

It's defined as a quantity of objects stacked or thrown together in a heap and it's illegal in most sports - usually resulting in a penalty… read more

Are you guilty of piling on? 

Think about it…

When you mess up in one thing do you leave it at that, or like many of us, do you start piling on… focusing on every time you ever made a mistake even if the situation was totally different?

Check this one out:

"I said the wrong thing," he reported, "and the room got pretty quiet… So tonight I couldn't sleep and remembered every time I got into trouble for saying the wrong thing… all the way back to elementary school!  It was awful!"

Yeah.  Piling on is truly awful!  One blunder is plenty…

Or how about this one:

Someone does you a nasty - bad enough, right?  But then you spend the next hour thinking about every time anyone ever did you bad!  Ugh!

What do ya think?

Do you pile on?

Why?

ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY…

Another winter holiday approaching…

Another opportunity to be thankful to have come through one more annual cycle…

Another moment to appreciate diversity…

We are all humanly similar and wonderfully different!

May these holidays help us to understand that our ways are not the only ways…

And feel thankful for what we can learn from each other!

See ya next week!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DID YOU FREEZE?

Why do we often freeze when we are hit with the unexpected?

It seems counter-intuitive, right?

We SHOULD run, duck, scream, pushback…

But think about it…

It's probably one of those DNA type encoded things from our earliest human existence…

Way back then if we heard a sudden sound - and held our breaths and froze - we probably made ourselves less of a target for that slavering, hungry predator.

Let's face it, we couldn't outrun them so trying to disappear was not a bad strategy and even sometimes worked…

We're still around and most of them are long gone.

Unfortunately in today's world, this ancient reaction often makes us even more of a target!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

COULDA, SHOULDA, WOULDA REVISITED…

After one of these unexpected 'attacks' - when we are breathing again - it's pretty easy to come up with better strategies and we often chastise ourselves for not re-acting better in the moment. 

But do you really believe that we should be prepared for everything?

NOT POSSIBLE!

FOUR SURVIVAL ATTITUDES:

1)  You are human and will get caught off guard - unless you are living by yourself in a cave… and then we are back to those hungry, blood- thirsty, slavering predators…

2)  Give yourself a break.  Take a deep breath, shake yourself off, give yourself a hug and move on!

3)  Yes, it's okay to take what happened and make a healthy going forward rule for yourself - to TRY to avoid the exact same situation next time…

4) And yes, there will be a next time (life and all of that) and no, it won't be exactly the same and yes, we do constantly learn and upgrade our game!

LOST IN SPACE…

Do you know what a glazed chipmunk look is?

Ever been there?

Check this out:

"I never know how to react when something hits me out of the blue," she sighed.

"And then," she continued disgustedly," I get so angry with myself and go through a hundred 'should haves'!

"Tell me," she beseeched me, "Do you think something's really wrong with me?"

"You know," she continued," one of those awful mental illnesses?"

Yeah.

It's called being human…

What do ya say?

Are you one of the billions who have this diagnosis?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHO'S LOOKING?

So much of our self image evolves during those often challenging middle school years…

We are too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny or our noses and ears are still too big for our heads…

Seriously, between hormones and growth spurts, for most of us these tend to be truly precarious years!

And if we throw in the well meaning 'help' that comes our way:

 "You are not thinking of wearing that out of the house, are you?!"

It's a miracle that we ever do make it out of the house… and that any of our self esteem survives!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

HERE'S ONE TO TRY:

Next time you look in that morning mirror ask yourself who is evaluating your appearance…

Mom?

Dad?

Sibling?

First boy/girlfriend?

Other?

As you identify each person, role-play them making comments about your appearance.  Really get into it.  Can you mimic their voice? 

Now you might want to talk back to them - you know, saying all those things that you never said back then…

(The idea of this exercise is to sensitize yourself to where your self perceptual beliefs are coming from.)

Finally, ask yourself what age of your life your own eyes got 'locked in'…

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL…

What do you see in that mirror?

A giant nose?  A pimple?  A sag?

Or…

Possibly…

A laugh?  A sparkle?  A victory?

Same old, same old…

Or

A new day?

A chance to start again?

A gift…

What do ya say?

Think about it…

Whose eyes are you using?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CHANGING THE PARADIGM

Once upon a time, flogging was considered a just punishment for 'bad' behavior…

Somehow, those whacks and the bloody traces they left behind were supposed to bring about a great behavioral transformation and healing.

Ouch!

Does this theory have any validity?  Actually recent studies show that self excoriation - we're talking verbal here - actually slows down our healing process!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

THE PRACTICE OF KINDNESS IN SIX EASY STEPS

1)  As an experiment, for one day, keep track of all the 'flogging' you give yourself - the negative words, scolding, and 'how could yous'.

2)  Count them up. 

3)  Ask yourself if they helped you perform better/feel better.

4)  Now try one day where you drop the Bully voice.

5)  Create - and listen to an inbuilt, personal cheerleader.

6)  How many times a day did you stand up for yourself and encourage yourself - and cheer?

7)  How was your performance this day?  Did you perform better?

FIE FIE FIE PAH!*

Check this story out:

"So, I fell and cracked a rib - kind of painful but not life threatening, right?"  

She shrugged as she began her tale of woe.

"What did feel really excruciating was the aftermath… no, I'm not talking about the healing process," she shrieked.  "Oh no!"

"What I'm talking about is the anti-healing - that awful, painful, vitality sucking rampage of my inner bully!"

"Ugh!  It was relentless," she moaned as she recited the litany…

'How could you!'

'What did you do now!'

'You never watch where you're going!'

'Jeeze, you are such a f@#k up!'

'YOU DID IT AGAIN!'

What do ya say?

Sound at all familiar?  

He he he…                                       

 (*With apologies to King Lear…)

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE RULES…

We have so many rules about dealing with our feelings.

Think about it.

They are designated as age related - it's okay to feel certain things until you are X years old…

They are designated as gender related - it's okay for women to feel certain things and men others…

They are designated as relationship related - our feelings are supposed to be based on specific relationships… it's only okay to feel certain things for certain people…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

THE ONLY 3 TRUE RULES!

1)  Tune in!  Figure out what you are actually feeling.  Use sensations in your body as a clue if you are not sure - tension, flutters, holding your breathe - all of these are indicators that something is going on. 

If you are still not sure you can have an imaginary conversation with the bodily sensation, e.g.:  "Hey, stiffness, what are you trying to tell me?"  And then listen to the answer.  You can have some fun with this one!

2)  Feel it!  Breathe deeply and allow yourself to go with the feeling.

3)  Decide and Strategize.  Ask yourself what you want to do about what you are feeling.  Sometimes sharing it brings more intimacy - if it's with someone you can trust!  Sometimes sharing it fits into the category of TMI!  Use your judgment. 

DEALING WITH ...

"I don't like to bother other people with my problems," she stated, "so I don't talk about things… Besides I'm a pretty private person."

Here's another one:

"Well, I didn't want to ruin the day for everyone else by saying what was going on with me…"

And here's my favorite:

"Okay, I was terrified about what was going on but I didn't want to say anything and upset my friends…"

Whoa!

Sorry to knock this out of the water BUT as well meaning as these folks might be, they are living in total denial!

Think about it…

If you are human you radiate energy, and in these cases we are talking  anger or sadness or fear…

Remember that old toast: 'Confusion to my enemies"?

What do ya say?

Could that possibly be the real goal?  Naaaah….

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CONNECTING TO THE LIGHT

How magical the spectacle of the lights on a giant tree suddenly going on and twinkling in the darkness!    

Recently someone suggested that instead of designating a specific holiday we call them 'tree lighting' ceremonies. read more

An interesting point…

Going back through the centuries, during this time of year we humans have been lighting candles and trees.  check it out

We apparently feel the need to bring warmth and light, hope and a sense of joy to the winter's days… a universal physical pull and at the same time a powerful metaphor.

What does it mean for you?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

A WINTER MEDITATION

As you breathe deeply, think about the things you do to bring light into your home this time of year…

Now, allow yourself to feel the connection with humanity all the way back through time…

As you continue breathing deeply, imagine yourself living 100 years ago, 200, 1000…

Let yourself experience the deep relief and joy the light would bring…

Now, continuing to breathe fully and deeply, take that appreciation back into the present day…

Can you feel it?