Remember that expression 'knee-jerk reaction'?
When we create mandates - all those 'shoulds' - we often trigger that type of reaction.
There ae verbal triggers:
you should, you have to, now, or else.
And non-verbal cues: time limits and drop dead dates.
We often unconsciously perceived all of these as unrealistic demands - and we respond with a resounding 'NO'!
Our 'no' can take two forms: we can rebel (it's not fair, you can't make me, don't push)
We can switch to our victim voice (I can't, it's too hard, I am suffering).
The interesting thing to realize is that both responses are attempts to push back what we are experiencing (realistic or not) as unhealthy demands.
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…
Think of the last time you were in this position: reacting in opposition to an internal or external demand.
Can you imagine hearing that demanding voice now?
Try exaggerating it.
Visualize the demanding presence. Give it a face (mean?) a color (red?)
Now become that voice.
Really get into it…
Now switch to the responder.
First play this part as a Rebel - again exaggerate and really get into it.
Now respond as the poor Victim.
What happens as you play this out?