Ever have a toothache that you just can't stop probing with your tongue?
Or a mosquito bite you just can't resist scratching?
As these areas become red and inflamed you know this is a bad strategy… but somehow you just can't resist!
Maybe we can blame it on something biochemical or hormonal… or we could fall back on our 'it must have originally been useful in those pre-historic times'…
But the reality is that by agitating the hurt we increase the irritation and inflammation - and don't solve the problem.
Our repetitive recitation of emotional hurts has this same result - it increases irritation without resolving the problem!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…
HEALING EMOTIONAL WOUNDS
Use the itch - that desire to keep going over something - as an indicator of unfinished business!
Be resourceful. You can:
Talk to the person who is causing you the agitation in reality or with an imaginary dialog. Remember, the sign that something is resolved is that your litany of 'wrongs' with this situation goes away - or at least changes!
Talk to a third party about what is bothering you. Therapists are great for this, but so are friends if they understand what your goal is; ie to get rid of the feelings not increase them!
Ask yourself what feelings this situation has caused in you: Anger? Sadness?
Are you feeling like a victim?
Use your imagination to creatively release the internalized anger that comes with this feeling.
Fantasies are a great release and don't actually cause harm!