SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DANCE

So, what actually is passive aggressive behavior?

Quite simply, it's anger in disguise.

In our culture we are taught in many ways that expressing anger is not acceptable… but as humans it is clearly a feeling - and an experience - that we have.

Not only do we experience anger, but we plainly need a way of externalizing the feeling.  Perhaps the original human coding to react to anger inducing events comes, as many things seem to, from our prehistoric survival instincts.

Whatever the reasons, humans appear to need to react to things that make us angry, and given the restrictions on expressing anger directly, we have come up with 'creative' alternatives… enter passive aggressive behavior - the ultimate way of indirectly conveying anger!

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE Q&A

*Ever say 'yes' with a smile and then clearly act 'no'? 

*Ever say 'I'll be there at a certain time', knowing that there is no way?

*Often late?

*How about these phrases:  'Only joking…', 'I tried…', 'Oops!', 'It's not fair…'

What is it?

Passive aggressive behavior is an indirect way of expressing anger.

How do we learn it?

We are taught that anger isn't 'nice' but we still experience it and cleverly have found a way to hide our attack.

Will it harm me to use?

The harm in acting passive aggressively is that we often do it so well that we disguise our anger even from ourselves and then are handicapped by not knowing what is going on with us and often not understanding the reactions we are getting from others.

Is it ever useful?

If we can tune into our passive aggressive behavior it gives us a pretty strong indicator that we are actually angry.  With this awareness we can often fix the situation and resolve what is making us angry.

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