SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S IN A WORD?

Our words are powerful and meaningful.

They convey intention.  They help us stay on point and focused.

We are taught from an early age to be aware of how our words impact others.

Ever heard a parent scold:  "Don't say that!  It's not nice!"

Or:  "You hurt your brother's feelings when you say that!" 

Or even: "No one will like you if you talk like that!"

But…

How often did they talk to you about your 'self-talk' - about talking 'nice' to yourself?

DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

How about this novel idea:  Teach yourself to talk nice - to yourself!

Try standing in front of a mirror and smiling at that person who looks back at you - Yes, it's ok to do!  You are not being vain!

Now tell that person 3 nice things about them or about what they did today.  Maybe something like:  'Good job on that report, I am proud of you!' or 'Hey, you stuck to your diet today, I know it was hard, but you did it!'

Try this every day for a week and see what happens…

What do you feel?

MANTRA MAGIC

It can be one word…

Or a series.

Silent or out loud,

Whispered or chanted…

It's a reminder, a focus.

A verbal dedication to something you truly desire.

Choose your mantra carefully, with awareness.

Use it well and when it's used up, choose another!

What do ya say?

You get how this works, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LIGHTING A CANDLE IN THE DARKNESS

Does a smile really count?

Does a laugh?

A good deed?

A kind word?

Recent studies show that all of these things can actually have a significant impact on our emotional - and physical - well being.

https://hms.harvard.edu/sites/default/files/HMS_OTB_Spring10_Vol16_No2.pdf

DANCE WITH IT!  EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Light one candle…

Do one good deed…

Make one person smile…

Find a laugh…

See the beauty…

Give yourself a hug!

GOOD VIBRATIONS

There's this village in Haiti where people make art out of old recycled oil cans to help support their community.

The art itself is truly delightful and whimsical, and brings smiles to the faces of everyone who sees it…

This is a poor village and life is not easy and yet…

Somehow their work makes others feel good!

WHAT DO YA SAY?

DO YOU GET HOW THIS WORKS?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - EXPANDING HORIZONS

Are you aware of you limitations?

It is crucial to be aware of how our environment - physical and emotional - mitigates our vision.

Sounds mystical?

Nope!

I'm a city girl so I saw a giant pigeon… what do you think I would have seen if I lived by the seashore?

Same person.

Same bird.

Different environment.

DANCE WITH IT - EXPERIENTAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

How we perceive the world - our judgments and compassion are, whether we can admit it or not - strongly influenced by our families and communities.

  Make a list of your beliefs about people, places, this moment in      historical time. 

 Ask yourself where these beliefs come from?

 If you were born on the other side of the world what do you think you'd believe?

THE MYSTERY OF THE GIANT WHITE BIRD

This giant white bird with a yellow beak took over my city terrace birdfeeder.

It displaced the doves who scattered rapidly out of pecking range.

When I came close it gave me the evil eye… and yes… I backed off, too.

What was this fearless creature?

A mutant city pigeon?

What do ya say?

Clearly we are impacted and perhaps defined by what we see and experience in our environment …

No, I am not talking about the bird!  

YEAH, IT MUST BE OLD AGE…

"I lost my keys again," she moaned.  "It must be old age!" 

Okaay… I've known her a long time and wanted to remind her that she's been losing those keys for the last 20 years…

"My diabetes is getting worse," he groaned slurping down his second dish of ice cream.

Uh huh…

"I'm just not as strong as I used to be," the third one complained, glued to the tv for the evening…

What do ya say?

What's your favorite excuse?  How does that work for you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LOSER?

Fair, not fair, fair share…

Seriously toxic concepts when it comes to human experience.

Who could have been cruel enough to feed these no-win concepts to tiny growing beings?

Because of course, it is at those young, impressionable moments when we're fed this hogwash.

Why hogwash?  Think about it…

How often does this formula actually pan out - and if it doesn't what does it imply about you?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

DROP THESE JUDGEMENTS!

Fair…

Why me?

Give yourself permission to do what you can to lower stress:

  Deep breathing…

  Find laughs…

  Ask for help…

  Create beauty…

  Look for the light…

  Find the positive 'take away' - the learning.

ONE FOR YOU AND ONE FOR ME…

"You've had more than your fair share of difficult things," she said.

Whoa!

What a concept!

Does this really compute?

Who is meting out these shares?

What do ya say?  You don't buy into this one, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LOOKING FOR THAT LIGHT…

Life has a lot of darkness - just a reality. 

If we choose to focus on those dark shadows, another reality is that we increase our suffering!

If we go to the 'they done me wrong' songs, the 'why me' tunes,the 'it's not fair' stories, we draw attention to those dark places… where it is really easy to get stuck!

The alternative is to acknowledge the shadow places and people, to look for solutions, to reach out for help and to acknowledge the positive energy that can get focused as we pay attention to small shifts!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN?

Remember that old saying 'garbage in, garbage out'?

While we often don't have control over what occurs we do have control over the stories we tell ourselves about it!

Think about this past week:

When difficult things happened, what did you tell yourself about what they said about you and your reality?

Did what you told yourself make life easier as you dealt with things… or did you increase your own suffering?

CAN YOU SEE IT?

"To love beauty beauty is to see light" - Victor Hugo

'It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. ... Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful.'

                                   

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/victor_hugo_131142

What do ya say?

Does this make sense to you?

Do you practice it?

  

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GET YOUR MAGIC ON!

All those visual and auditory tokens - the chants, the prayers, the amulets - they are reminders of our power, our connectedness to others, to traditions, to humanity…

To the magic inherent in all of us if we just let ourselves tap into it!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS   

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHERE'S YOUR MAGIC?

Identify your touchstones…

Are they auditory? (Chants, prayers, songs, rhythms)?

Kinesthetic? (Repetitive movements, dance)?

Visual (jewelry, stones, shrines, flags)?

HOW STRONG IS YOUR INTENTION?

Try this experiment:

Consciously state your emotional, physical goal.

Say to yourself as you look at your touchstone, put it on, touch it, sing it…

"My intention is_________"

"This is to remind of __________"

"When I look at this I will remember_______"

Here are some choices to fill in those blanks:

    Healing

    Strength

    Awareness

    Love

    Kindness

GOT AMULETS?

The 'Cloak of Invisibility'?

Those bracelets of Wonder Woman?

The Shield of…

A Hamsa, a rabbits foot?

Is it the object itself that has the power…

or the intention we feel and OWN when we wear it?

What do ya say?

You get the concept, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TURNING IT IN

Why do we attack ourselves when something goes wrong?

Easy target?

Illusion of control?  You know, 'if I caused it, I can fix it'?

And how did we develop this self inflicted pain strategy?

Did you ever come home from school and tell your parents about a problem… and their first response was:  "Well, what did you do to cause it?"

Hmmm…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

UNDOING RETROFLEXION

You can think about it like this: 

Something happens and we have a reaction - an energy surge.  At this point we have a choice about what we do with that energy…

We can direct it out into the world in many different ways or…

We can direct it inward and use ourselves as the target.

Think about the last time something like this happened to you…

What choice did you make about how to direct your energy?

Did your choice work well for you?

Might another choice have been more effective?

GO GET 'EM BOSS!

I was watching this tiny bird today… It was viciously attacking its own reflected image in a shiny object.

ATTACK!  ATTACK!  ATTACK!

And then it backed off - for a minute or two…

But the draw was too strong!

And it was back even more ferocious than before!

Whoa!  Does this remind you of anything?

What do ya say?

Been there?

SAY WHAT?

I thought they cared about me!

But really if they did care they'd…

After all, that's what I would do!

Yikes!

What do ya say?  Is this type of thinking painful, or what?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LISTEN TO ME!

What is it that compels us to tell others what to do?

Is it a desire to help?

To be heard?

To feel smart?

To empower ourselves?

And really how often is it solicited?b

How often is it listened to?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

GIVING ADVICE?

Think about how you feel when others tell you what you should do…

     How often do you take their advice?

     How useful is this type of interaction?

     How do you feel when you 'help' others in this way?

     What happens when the advice is 'bad'?

     Who suffers the consequences?

    

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS…

Heard on the street:

"You should get surgery for that!" the man insisted.

"Really?" the recipient of his wisdom asked.

"Yeah," he continued.  "My wife had the same thing and she had surgery…"

"Oh, and how is she?"

"Well, not so good… but…"

What do ya say?  Does this make sense to you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHO'S ANGRY NOW?

Is anger okay?

Sure.

It's part of our make-up.

Is hidden anger okay?

Depends on who we're hiding it from…

Ourselves?  Not so good.

Other people?  That's a choice we can make.

And what about the 'format' of our angry response?

Can we hit, kick, scream and call names like a child in the grip of the 'terrible two's'?

NOT EVEN CLOSE!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

AN ANGER REVIEW

Think about the last time you recognized you were angry.

What caused that response in you?

How would you rate your reaction? (1-5, one is great, 5 sucks)

Did you acknowledge what you were feeling?

How did you deal with the 'offender'?