DO YOU GET IT?

Remember that old saying: 'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree'?

You know what it means, right?

Check out this story:  The guy was really smart, but… He just didn't get it!

His girlfriend was very difficult.  No need to give you the sorry details…

D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T!

"Why should I break up?" he asked.  "All relationships suck!  Just look at my parents!"

What do ya say?

He really doesn't get it, does he?

You do, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SEPARATION

It is truly a challenge to let go of what we want and need and recognize the limitations of others - even others as significant to us as our parents and siblings.

But…

If you can accept that simple refrain: 

"You are you, and I am I…" more  your ability to recover from those perceived 'wounds' is amazing!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TRY REMINDING YOURSELF:

They are not doing it to you!

They are doing their own dance…and you happen to be there!

Their dance was created long before they met you!

You have the option to walk away.

If you stay it is your choice…deal with it!

WORDS OF COMFORT

Didn't get what you wanted or needed this past holiday?

How do we forgive our friends and family for not being perfect?

TRY THIS MANTRA:  THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD!

Maybe not the best you wanted …

What do ya say?

Do you get this?  

You know its probably true, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TAKE COVER!

Forgive me for being blunt but… ranting is like taking a dump!  You might feel better afterwards, but you leave behind a stink!

We seem to learn this dumping strategy at an early age.

It appears to have several functions:

* It can make the 'dumper' feel better just like the other kind of dump.

* It can create a distraction - with enough loud yelling and ranting, maybe the other person won't call me out about whatever I did wrong.

* Finally, it can be part of our unfinished business from those terrible two's when we counted on someone else to make our anger go away.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CREATING NOISE

How many times have you thrown a fit instead of acknowledging your 'bad'?

Think about this:  Ranting is fast, it's easy, and it creates pain for the other person.

Ask yourself if you really want to do this to someone else… and if you do … do it consciously!

SCREECH! SCREECH! SCREECH!

He came into the room ranting - the trains were late, he hated winter, everyone was nasty…

His eyes were flashing red and rolling in their sockets (well almost, you get the idea.)

Hmmm…

Couldn't he just say, 'sorry I'm so late?"

What do ya say?

Ever notice this one?  Ever do it?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - APPRECIATE MUCH?

Did your family Thanksgiving dinners include going around the table and saying what you were grateful for?

Remember this - being thankful - and mindful - of what you have does not take away your right to:

        

        Want more…

        Be envious…

        Be angry…

Appreciation for what we have does not mean we stop being human!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TRY THIS:

Make a list of things that you appreciate…

Now, the fun part… For each of those appreciations, list a resentment!

The formula is:  I appreciate/ I resent

Continue until you run out!

What happens as you do this?

MEMORIES…

Here's a pretty amazing and uplifting statement from an elderly lady we know dealing with her memory loss:

to the tune of...

"Well," she told us with a big smile, "there are people who remember less then I do…"

What do ya say?

Unreal or just choosing to be thankful for what she has?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GOING UNDER

What creates a hypnotic trance? 

        An altered state

        Repetition

        A belief in the speaker's authority

Interesting…

Doesn't this, at least to some extent, describe our situation during those highly charged years of childhood?

Without realizing it, during our early years of life, we are subject to internalizing hypnotic suggestions about who we are and what we can expect from life!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WAKING UP IN 6 STEPS!

1) Make a list of some of the words you use to describe yourself.

2) Next to each word write who first used this to describe you.

3) How old were you were when you were first identified this way.

4) Do you like these descriptions of you?

5) If you changed these description, what words would you use?

6) Imagine actually switching to your new words.

How does this feel?

STUCK!

"I'm my mother's son," he informed me.

"People always told me I was just like her…"

He was explaining why he did things in a certain way and really was unlikely to ever change.

From where he sat - and all those years of hearing this belief reinforced - he didn't believe that he had much choice!

What do ya say?

What cement blocks are you chained to?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE FLY'S EYE VIEW

This isn't a one-off. 

People have been fascinated with the idea of being able to observe without being noticed, with getting the whole picture without having to interact - going way back in time.

What makes it so intriguing?

Perhaps some of the same charge we get from reading a good book?  Listening to good music?  Being hypnotized by an absorbing piece of art?

Or is the draw something more connected to the power of secret knowledge? 

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

GET SOME FLY POWER

Imagine 3 different situations - current or past - where you might get a kick out of being that fly on the wall.

Have some fun with this one and imagine listening in to conversations.  What might you get from this 'spying'?

Like a dream, this imaginary information tells you something about yourself.  Maybe it shows where you experience missing pieces?

How could you use this information in a healthy, self awareness way?

If it seems like it might make you happy, you have the fly's permission to incorporate what you imagined into your story… remembering that you are choosing to do a re-write…

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BE… A FLY ON THE WALL?

Getting that bird's eye, god's eye view…

Revealing secrets…

Seeing the underside, the behind the scenes, back story…

Creating clarity, security, understanding, true awareness…

What do ya say?

Ever wish you could be…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MAGICAL DREAMS

How much are we taught about the importance of dreams?

We know all about sleep - how it's healing and vital to our well being, but dreams…

Throughout history and literature we reference dreams and their significance and yet we still seem to dismiss their relevance to our daily lives.

One way of making this part of our reality more useful is to realize that we actually create these 'visions' and that they can expand our knowledge of ourselves, allowing us entrance into a different realm of awareness.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WORK THEM!

Talk to your dreams.

Before sleep: Ask for help in resolving a dilemma.

During sleep: You can actually merge your waking and sleeping  self to help you tune into the messages your dreams are giving you. This might take a little practice!

When you wake up: Make notes - write out whatever you remember no matter how fragmented. 

Be creative and imagine that you can interact with the images and characters in your dreams.

Even inanimate objects can have relevance. 

Ever tried becoming an umbrella?  

What would you say to an umbrella?  

Maybe something like: 'Hi what are you doing in my dream?'

And it might answer: 'Well I protect you, and I am easy to maneuver and use.'

If you continued this dialog what might you discover about the reason this prop showed up in your dream?

You get the idea. Right?

VOILA! WHOPPEE! WOOHOO!

Last night I wrote the entire weeks' Blog - 4 perfect posts - in my sleep.

I woke up truly delighted - until I watched them disappear… sucked back into the euphoric miasma of sleep!

Aarrg!

What do ya say?

Ever have this happen?

Solve all the worlds' woes in your sleep?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IMPACT!

No matter what you assume, your words do affect others!

They can accept what you say, or reject it but either way the other person has to use their energy to deal with your output.

We tend to be pretty insensitive to our impact on those around us and the less we pay attention the more harm we can do, and the less we understand what comes back at us!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

PICKING UP THE SIGNS…

Five clues to negative impact:

1)  Body language - Crossed arms? Raised shoulders? Clenched fists?

2)  Voice - Too loud? Too low? Too high pitched?

3)  Facial changes - Looking away? Staring? Muscle tightness? Twitches?

4)  Physical distance - Moving away? Standing too close? Leaving the room?

5) Continued contact - Avoidance? 

I'M RIGHT - YOU'RE WRONG!

"That's stupid!" he exclaimed with great authority.

His friend was talking to him about something he didn't believe in so of course it was stupid.

Easy, isn't it, to assume our beliefs are the correct ones, and not stop to wonder how our negative stomp might be affecting the other guy.

What do ya say?

Do you get this?