Do you beat around the bush when you are asking for something?
Think it's polite to waffle?
Hint about what you want and suffer disappointment when you don't get it?
Some of this communication distortion seems to be gender related. Boys are supposed to talk one way, girls another.
We'd like to think this is no longer true but we need to deal with reality.
Do you think a man running for President would have been called "such a nasty man" by his opponent?
Perhaps another influence comes all the way from those Victorian times when chair legs wore skirts to hide their true nature - you know - legs!
Whatever the source of our vague language when we communicate our needs, it is usually a guaranteed path to confusion and not getting what we want!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…
ASKING FOR IT!
How do you feel when you need to ask someone for support or help?
When you need to ask them to change their behavior?
To do you a favor?
Now reverse it:
How do you feel when someone asks you for support or help?
When they ask you to change your behavior?
When they ask you to do them a favor?
What feelings come up for you?
Do you fear or anticipate rejection? Disapproval? Criticism? Judgment?
Do you feel put on the spot?
Think you have to reciprocate?
What's the worse thing that could happen if you are direct?
(Remember direct does not mean rude - just straightforward and clear!)
How do you compare that worse case scenario to what you feel when you obfuscate what you need - and don't get it?