PIVOT AND RESET

This election cycle has created a lot of stress and negativity, but…

There are a few good take-aways - always important to find these to balance the dark side!

The power inequities between men and women have had some serious national light shinned down on them - especially the role of sexually transmitted behavior…

But, maybe one of the most potent take-aways - regardless of how it's been used - is the concept of PIVOT.

A good pivot is part of a winning game - in sports and in life.

What do ya say?

When the unexpected comes your way, can you pivot?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WATCH IT!

Is spatial awareness innate or a learned skill?

Perhaps a little of both, but you can definitely upgrade your skills.

Why bother?

Being aware of your surroundings is obviously a pretty important survival ability … not to mention lowering the stress level of those around you…

It's true.  Think about it.  When you are exposed to someone with a deficiency in this area how do you feel? 

Are you one of these people yourself?  Do you get lost a lot?  Get easily turned around?  Bump into things?  Inadvertently invade other's space?  Step on the cat's paw…

     

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS               

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

If you want to upgrade your spatial awareness skills you need to 'exercise' this part of your brain.  And like everything else, upgrading one skill set tends to boost brain activity in other areas! 

Here's a fun 'exercise to try: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aii3j8KCOy8 

You can modify this yourself by looking at something on your computer screen and then closing your eyes and seeing if you can put your finger in the exact spot before you open your eyes.  If you do this on a regular basis you can actually see your improvement!

A really good link to help you understand more about spatial awareness and all its ramifications:

http://tss.org.uk/downloads/factsheet5.pdf   

OOPSY! SORRY ABOUT THAT!

So, first this guy knocked over a giant standing fan.

Yikes!

He didn't mean to.  He was moving (okay, shoving) a box across the floor and somehow that fan just got in the way…

And then this other guy slammed the door into someone's foot - again not on purpose, just, well, who know that someone was standing right there?

Hmmm…

And then there was this nice lady who kept offering to help her hostess in the kitchen and somehow always ended up in exactly the wrong spot.  Ouch!

What do ya say?

Ever bump into one of these people?

Ever hear of spatial awareness?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CAN WE TALK?

All animals communicate.

They wiggle their noses; switch their tails, sniff, bark, run in circles…

We humans sometimes think our only means of communication is words. In reality we use all our senses to make contact with others.

These recent election debates have been a wonderful primer on all the non-verbal ways humans communicate. 

Maybe one of the unexpected 'take-aways' of this extraordinary time in our country is sensitizing us to all that non-verbal communication!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

GOING NON-VERBAL… THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Here's a fun way to use these debates - play the non-verbal game!

Think about each of the debates you watched.

How many of the non-verbal cues did you pick up on?

How did they affect you?

Now to really have some fun, try them out…

Pretend you are each of the 'actors' and mimic their behavior.

How do you feel as you do this?

What clues might this give you to what these people were trying to 'say'?

Now ask yourself how many of these behaviors you actually use in your own every day life?

Want to change anything?

LET'S TALK

The taxi driver really wanted to talk about the coming election.

He was a US citizen originally from an African country.

His accent was pretty thick but his enthusiasm was contagious.

I couldn't understand most of his words… but one out of five or six came through…

It was a totally delightful conversation.

We both ended the ride smiling - knowing that despite the language barrier we really communicated!

What do ya say?

Do you get this?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SNEAKY PHRASES

Ever catch yourself slipping those useless qualifiers into your speech - the 'really', 'but seriously', 'honestly', 'to tell the truth' drop-ins?

Ever wonder why?

These words don't actually have any meaning, or do they?

Perhaps we believe that they give us more authority and importance?

Or do we just use them as smoke screens for what we are actually saying?

If you think about it, you might notice that these repetitive sound bites actually diminish our impact.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CATCH AND RELEASE…

This one is really simple:  

Pay attention to when others use these 'drop-ins' in their speech. 

How do these words affect you? 

What do you think that other person is actually saying? 

(Tonight's Presidential debate might be a good opportunity to catch this one in action…)

Now pay attention to your own speech patterns…

What are you saying?

WHAT?

He said:  "You know…"

I thought:  "No, I don't, but if you say 'you know' one more time…"

He said:  "Look…"

I thought:  "Where?"

He said:  "Listen…"

I thought:  "What do you think I've been doing?"

He said:  "To tell the truth…"

I thought:  "What, everything else was a lie?"

He said:  "To tell you the truth…"

I thought:  "Yeah, I'm special, right?"

He said:  "Honestly…"

Uh huh.

Are these people for real?

Ever notice how some people drop these 'qualifying' words into, well, just about every sentence?

Lately, certain public figures seem to have cornered the market on this.

What do ya say?

Are they annoying, or what?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TKO OR DOWN FOR THE COUNT?

Sometimes the old admonitions:  'Keep going!'  'Don't give up!' actually fight our body's deeper wisdom.

Think about it, isn't it possible that a down day is your systems way of saying: 'Hey, time out!  I need to catch my breath!'

When we fight against these natural, perhaps healthy messages we often push ourselves past the breaking point and end up with something that really stops us! 

A cold or flu, a sprained ankle, all of these can be signs that you didn't listen to that 'stop' sign and your body is taking things into its own hands… so to speak!

Temporary is the operative word.  This is a time out to catch your breath.  (Down for the count is also a sign: this one cries 'time for professional intervention'!)

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                          

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

LISTEN TO THE MESSAGE!

#1.   Release the judgment!

 Bullying yourself into action is rarely productive!  

Have a dialog with your internal Bully and tell it to take a hike!

#2.  Listen to the message. 

What is your body trying to tell you? 

Have you been working too hard? 

Letting environmental stress get to you?

#3.  Act on the information! 

Take a break!  Catch your breath! 

Dumb down for a day! 

Stare at the sky, listen to the birds, do what you love that creates time out for you!

TKO?

Feeling flat?

A little down in the dumps?

Sort of blah?

It happens to the best of us.

Sometimes it's environmental.

No, we're not talking Global Warming.

In this case environmental means affected by things around us…

Over stimulated

Over whelmed

Burnt out…

Today's news stories (we all know what this is about these days, right?) can do it to us.

Dealing with serial days of bad weather…

Constant problems with friends and family can get to us, too.

Even the aftermath of and exciting event can knock us out.

The important thing is to realize that going flat at times is part of our human condition.

What do ya say?

Been there, of course…

POLARITIES - A STUDY IN PRIMATE BEHAVIOR

You know we don’t usually talk politics…

But let's face it this Presidential election just crys out for scrutinizing, right?

How did we end up here? 

Yesterday someone described the male candidate's behavior during the recent debate as reminiscent of male gorilla stalking behavior: pacing back and forth, snorting and sniffing and sneaking up behind its prey…

Interesting,huh?

For the very first time we have a female candidate for the highest office in this country and just at this definitive point we have a male candidate exhibiting a certain type of exaggerated  male primate behavior…

Coincidence?

Naaah.

What do you think triggers the yin and the yang of human behavior?  And how might we be using this in times of change?

What do ya say?

Do you understand polarities?

 

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SHAKE IT OFF!

How much of your day do you spend being thrown off balance by those little annoyances? 

They do exist in all of our lives - the car alarm down the street that goes off in the middle of the night, the neighbor's dog that keeps barking, the stranger who doesn't watch where he is going and bumps into you on the street…

We can take these things personally as reflections of others attitude towards us, or we can roll our eyes and shake them off staying focused on the things that really matter.

How much of your day gets caught in those minor irritations? 

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SHAKING IT OFF!

Here's an old tried, but true trick:

Imagine that today is the last day of your life…

You already know where we are going with this, right?

          How much time would you spend on that barking dog?

          How would this time limitation change your focus?

RELEASE TRICKS

Use your imagination to get rid of the minor annoyances.

          

Imagine meting out punishment that fits the 'crime'.  

If you start laughing you are released!

          

Have an imaginary dialog with the violator.  Be outrageous - this is imaginary!

You can also do something physical - non-toxic of course!  Hit a pillow, sing a song, yell in a safe place…

It's all about releasing the energy connected to these truly minor, yet daily annoyances so that they don't waste your time!

SCREECH… SCREECH…

 Once upon a time I was riding in the back of a taxi in Washington, D.C..

I asked the driver if it would bother him if I filed my nails.  Some people go ballistic with that 'screecha  screecha" sound.

"Lady," he responded "with what I have to deal with every day, if I let a little thing like that bother me they'd lock me up in a loony bin!"

Tonight on my way home in another taxi those words of wisdom reverberated in my head…

Tonight's driver?

Well, he informed me today was only his second day driving - ever… and he proved it!

He was going 10 mph in 25 mph NYC traffic, suddenly jamming on the brakes when nothing was there, and finally going right through a red light…

"Uh," I gasped," you have to wait for the light to turn green!"

"Oh, thank you, thank you," he smiled, "You are so kind!"

I kept thinking of the nail file guy and reminding myself that I certainly didn't want to end up in that loony bin…

What do ya say?

Do you let those little things throw you off?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MARKERS?

Our societal symbols used to change slowly enough for us to adjust and be able to read the new cues. 

We could tell by dress, behavior and speech patterns who and what we were dealing with.

Whether we liked it or not, this predictability created some sense of stability.

Perhaps some of today's increased anxiety is related to these rapidly disappearing markers and the uncertainty this creates?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

REORIENTATION IN TIMES OF RAPID CHANGE

Step 1:  Recognize the new truths…

          *Fast changes

          *Loss of markers

          *Increased anxiety

Do you get the drift?

We can only 'ground' ourselves by acknowledging and then dealing with reality!

  

REMEMBER WHEN…

Seeing someone talking to themselves, out loud, meant 'whacko alert! danger! Cross to the other side of the street!'?

And seeing a guy in a suit talking quietly into his tie meant 'danger! Feds!  Security alert!  Cross to the other side of the street…'

And now? 

Let's face it, everyone's doing it, there is no other side of the street!

What do ya say?

Can you keep up?