SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S A VICTIM?

There are three aspects to the word 'victim':

          A position

          A strategy

          A feeling

The first, the position, is something that we have no choice about.  It happens to us.  We can be the victim of an event or person.

The second and third aspects can be seen as choices. 

Like yesterday's ladybug (see post September 31) we can choose to 'bleed' as a means of controlling the circumstances around us.  This is often a learned behavior and often not conscious on our parts.

The feeling of being a victim is powerful, sometimes even seductive… and almost always counterproductive!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

USING AWARENESS AS A KEY ELEMENT FOR CHANGE LET'S WALK THROUGH THE 3 ASPECTS OF 'VICTIM' - POSITION, STRATEGY AND FEELING:

1)  Children are often in the position of victim.  They are small and they often get yelled at and targeted for others' anger.

Remember:  You are no longer that small and powerless!

2)  Children also integrate the strategy of victim because it sometimes does work and fend off the 'predators' and also because they watch the adults around them use this strategy themselves.

Ask yourself how effective this behavior is today?  Is the cost to you higher than the reward?

3)  Children often feel like victims because at a young age we have little control over circumstances around us and one of the key ingredients for 'losing' the victim feeling is to empower yourself.

When you feel like a victim, remind yourself that as a 'big' person you do have options!