CHISPAS

“The beautiful is as useful as the useful." He added after a moment’s silence, "Perhaps more so.” 

Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

"You could find beauty nearly anywhere if you stopped to look for it, but the battle to get through the days made it easy to forget that this totally cost-free luxury existed."

--  Robert Galbraith (aka J.K. Rowling), Career of Evil

In times of darkness - personal or social - it's easy to get caught up in the negative and miss all the amazing light and music that surrounds us!

 MAY THIS BE A NEW YEAR OF LIGHT AND            BEAUTY FOR YOU! 

HAPPY? MERRY? HMMM…

"Happy Birthday!" she wished me…

Sweet? 

Sure except it wasn't my birthday - it was hers! 

But okay, it was understandable.  

She was only 3 years old and at that age, the concept of 'difference' is still a little mushy.

It isn't until later that we understand and truly value our differences.

What do ya say?

You get the message here, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WINTER CLEAN UP

All of us who use computers know how important it is to do disc clean up - clearing space for new work.

We humans have that same need.

We also require clearing out our emotional and metaphorical disc space!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WIPING OUT EMOTIONAL SPAM

Think about all those old 'done to's' that you obsess about late into the night…

Make a list of all the insults, hurts, and unkindnesses you can come up with - all the 'he saids', 'they promised', 'I got set ups', insulted, treated badly…

Really pay attention to how you feel as you do this.

Hurts a little?

What do you imagine would happen if you could let all that garbage go?

Do you need to hold onto it for any reason?

Is there a lesson for you to learn?

A conversation that needs to happen?

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO…

AND THEN…

ERASE! ERASE!

LET IT GO

Tomorrow winter officially begins.  

Our ancient forebears always did something to recognize and celebrate the changing seasons. 

Customarily, winter was seen as a season of letting go, dying, going underground.   read more

It's a wonderful time for those of us in this modern world to mediate on what we need to let go of and bury…

Release of the old and out of date allows us to create space for new energy!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?

Sometimes we react negatively to the very behavior in others that we deny in ourselves - perhaps those very things that we were scolded for by our parents?

Sometimes we react negatively because our own buttons are being pushed and we feel disrespected or insulted - taking some one else's way of acting as a personal reflection on us.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about the things that annoy you in other people.

How do these behaviors actually affect you?

What do they 'make you' feel?

If you were able to change your own response what do you think might happen?

A WEE BIT OF … PROJECTION?

"Ugh!" he said.

"I can not stand her!  She is such a know it all!"

Interesting, since that's exactly what people say about him…

And here's another one:

This person was telling a story in great detail about a visit with her sister who drove her crazy by telling stories in great detail.

Ah huh.

What do ya say?

Ever notice how we seem to particularly hate things that remind us of…ourselves?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SINGING THAT SAME OLD SONG

When something bad happens why do we dig ourselves in deeper by remembering old insults instead of looking for positive counter balance?

It's as if we get caught on a particular tune or sound bite and keep replaying it, adding to the musical score with each and every negative moment we can remember!

"And then," we remind ourselves, "in the first grade…"

Sound ludicrous?

Certainly self destructive and useless!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TRY THIS EASY FIX:

The next time you catch yourself playing this repetitive tune, exaggerate it!  Really get into the sound, energy and movement that goes along with this listing of remembered suffering!

What happens as you do this?

Remember, really exaggerate!

DIGGING A DEEP HOLE

Ever notice how when you have a bad interaction with someone you think about all the bad interactions you've ever had?

Or…

When someone treats you disrespectfully you think about all those other times…

What do ya say?

Ever wonder why we pile on when we're already hurting?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - 'ASSISTANCE'

In our early years we are almost mandated to be in supportive environments and then suddenly we are out in the world with all those underlying structures removed.

We have a tendency to look at 'therapy' as being connected to problems and weakness. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we had structured support throughout our lives and not just at the beginning and end?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Imagine that you could create your own 'assisted living' set up regardless of your current age…

What would it look like?

What steps can you take to bring more of the support into your life?

WHAT A CONCEPT!

We walked in and looked around.

All sorts of classes, a lounge and cafeteria, people hanging out with buddies, gossip, a strong sense of community, music, dancing, a great library…

Where were we?

A University?

Nope!  A retirement community!

What do ya say?

What a wonderful continuing life concept, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IT IS WHAT IT IS!

On the one hand we don't want to be rigid and deny the possibility of change…

But

Observing the same behavior again and again and expecting a different outcome doesn't make sense either!

There are enough warnings about this type of thinking in our folktales - (remember the Three Little Pigs and the Grasshopper and the Ants and even those Three Monkeys) - to highlight this common flaw in our cognitive processing.

Perhaps our desire to see what we want, supersedes our ability to see the obvious?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

SAVING EMOTIONAL WEAR AND TEAR…

Think about the times you said: 

'I can't believe' talking about something that had happened many times before… 

How about all those times you found yourself outraged by behavior that really was totally predictable?

How do you think you would feel and react if you allowed yourself to expect that predictable behavior?

Would it make life easier for you? 

THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT…

"Every time I go to dinner with them I come away depressed… but I just knew," she insisted," this time it would be different."

Uh huh…

Ever hear this one:

'If you invite an elephant trainer into your house you have to expect elephant shi_'

It's about awareness, predictability and taking care of yourself, right?

What do ya say?

Do you allow yourself to see it like it is?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - EXPANSION

We know that we are conditioned to keep re-playing our childhood stories.

Perhaps, just as important, is for us to realize that we also have a tendency to see the world through the narrow focus of that early lense, and limit our ability to see other realities!

DANCE WITH IT!
AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIMENT WITH SOME FUN IDEAS...

EXPANDING OUR FOCUS...
TRY THIS:
Any time you find yourself using definning phrases like:

'Everyone does, says, feels, thinks...'
'Everything is always...'
'People are all...'

Stop and ask yourself:  'What would happen if I didn't think this way?'