PRESTO CHANGO!

"Everything was perfect!" she screeched.

Whoa…

If the graduation party she gave her son was so perfect, why that high pitched, alarmed sounding voice?

And here's another one:

"She's acting like a child," he groaned.  "She's throwing temper tantrums and sounding totally irrational!"  

He was talking about his grown-up wife who'd just gotten a big promotion...

What do ya say?

Can you see the common ground?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HOW IT SHOULD BE!

Sometimes we are so tied into how we believe things and people should be that we stop dealing with how they actually are!

We observe how those in our lives react to things we do and then we do those same things again and again expecting different outcomes!

Remember that popular line about the definition of 'crazy'…

Certainly a good formula for setting yourself up for disappointment!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TAKE A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE…

You probably have enough exposure to be aware of their 'trigger points'.

See if you can list some of them.  

This might include sensitivity to certain themes, words, ways of thinking.

Now ask yourself how often you have poked these spots and then acted 'shocked' at the predictable reaction?

SET UPS…

"I got into a terrible argument with my mother!" she screeched.

"I only told her…"

"I can't belief she reacted so badly!"

Really?

You didn't know?

How many years have you known her?

Your whole life, you say?

And is this the first time she reacted to that particular thing?

No, you say?

Hmmm…

What do ya say?

Does your behavior make sense?

Do you get what you want?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GET REAL!

'Stuff' happens to all of us.  Nobody really has it 'easy'.  That's not the nature of life, but the expectation that it is gets us into lots of trouble.

We look at others and imagine what their life is like. The story we often tell ourselves is that they have it easier than we do.

One of my favorites was the person who walked into my office complaining and comparing her life to a well known movie star.

"If only I was a natural beauty like her," she wailed," life would be so much easier…"

The reality of the life she was envying:  Many plastic surgeries, many failed relationships and constant bouts of depression!

What makes us project these 'perfect' attributes onto imaginary beings?

Is it because we have such a need to believe that fairy tales are real or is the popular hype just too strong to resist?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CHECK IT OUT!

Think about the stories you tell yourself about how life should be.

Where did you pick up these beliefs?

At what age?  Childhood?  Teenage years?

Did you internalize these viewpoints from popular culture?  Movies?  Books?

Did your parents think this way?

ROLL WITH IT!

Words of wisdom from my favorite imaginary sensei:

'You have to roll with the punches or else you end up like road kill…'

Heh, heh.

Translation:

Life throws lots of hits our way. 

If you practice emotional resistance - all those 

'Its not fairs'

'Why me's'

'Waaas'

You end up smushed!

What do ya say?

You get this, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - P/A ALERT!

Passive aggressive behavior is truly mean!

Think about it…

If a person is directly aggressive you get it - you see it coming and can duck or push back.

PA?  Not so much.

After all:

        They can't help it…

        They don't really mean it…

        And it's never really their fault!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

IT'S STILL ANGER!

See It for what it is… If someone's behavior is consistently annoying ask yourself if maybe that's their goal:  to annoy you!

Go back to that list of behaviors in the last post (7/18/2018).

Pretty aggravating, right? 

Now give yourself permission to understand that these are manifestations of anger.

Knowing this, how would you react?

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, SOME?

Saying 'yes' and meaning 'no'

Being late

Kvetching

Gossiping

Making and breaking promises

Telling lies

Forgetting appointments

Setting people up

Blaming other people…

What do ya say?

Been there, done that?

Not you, right?

A VARIATION ON A THEME

Yesterday I was so proud of myself…

I organized and rearranged my walk-in closet.

A big job taking hours but a major sense of satisfaction!

You know, job well done, the old pat on the back and all of that…

Early this morning I heard loud crashing and banging from that very closet.

Oops! 

All the shelves came off the wall and crashed to the floor.

All my hard work relegated to a tangle of stuff all over the floor!

What do ya say?

Ever read Edgar Allen Poe's, Imp of the Perverse?    etc.usf.edu/lit2go/147/the-works-of-edgar-allan-poe/5233/the-imp-of-the-perverse/ 

Ya gotta laugh, right?

TIME TRIPPING

"It was the best time of my life!"

Hmmm…

Interesting concept.  Is time really that rigid?

Does it really exist in blocks?  Or do we create these make believe containers?

What do ya say?

Do you believe that something as amorphous as time can be contained in these boxes?