SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LET IT GO!

What does it take to let go of all that criticism we receive? 

How do we let go of other people's bad thoughts about us and make ourselves ok despite them, releasing those negative labels into the air, and feeling the lightness that comes from putting down a really heavy weight?

How do we let go of their beliefs and recognize that in reality they were never about us to begin with?

The challenge is understanding we are not the defining factor in these people's lives.

We might be a handy stand in for someone else they can't get at, or a reflection of what they believe about themselves…

They might give us a role in their narrative - like a part in a play - we become the villain or the hero or any subsidiary role that fits in THEIR play…

Our job is to take back our own part and get out of their play!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

Okay…you get the concept … IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

Try this:

Ask yourself what your buy in has been?

What would the story feel like if you didn't believe the role they have given you - if you are not the wicked stepmother, the bad child, the selfish, controlling sister…

You do see this one right? 

Think about this:  How many times once you are 'given your role' have you found yourself actually acting it out?

NOW… take a recent situation where you were criticized, either directly in words or indirectly with actions…

Tell yourself the story as the other person 'wrote' it…  Put yourself in their shoes and really feel it.  

Remember:  THIS IS THEIR NARRATIVE!

Are you buying into it?  If so, ask yourself what you get from being an actor in their play - maybe a familiar role?  A staring role?  An easy out?

NEXT… ask yourself what they might get from putting you in this position?

FINALLY… step back into your own shoes and rewrite the play - as you see it!

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THE FINE ART OF CARRYING EXTRA WEIGHT…

No, not that kind of weight…

Check these stories out:

"My sister-in-law has never liked me!  She tells everyone how selfish I am… which is weird since I am always there whenever they need me, with money, support, my time… It really hurts me.  

But maybe, somehow, she's right?"

"My girlfriend always wants things her way…and throws fits until she gets them.  And then calls me demanding and difficult!  

Could she be right?  Is it my fault?"

"My brother and some of my co-workers leave me out of things all the time.  They all seem so popular and make sure I know I'm not! I guess I really am unlikable…"

What do these three speakers and all the millions like them have in common?

They are carrying extra weight!

Think about it…

The burden of the criticism they feel is heavy and intrusive.

What do ya say?

Do you get this one?

Tune in tomorrow to find out what to do about it!

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a quick meditation:                                                                   

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SEE IT LIKE IT IS!

In reality, most of us are tuned in enough to read the signs.

We observe those around us and pick up the cues.

We are genetically engineered to be able to do this.  In the past it was crucial to our physical survival, and more and more it is now crucial for our emotional well being.

Why then, do we keep falling into traps?

There is one easy answer:  We often don't like the signs we see and want them to be different!

Remember those three monkeys?  You know, the ones covering their eyes, ears and mouths?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

REMOVE THE BLINDFOLDS, AND THE EARMUFFS AND TAKE YOUR HAND AWAY FROM YOUR MOUTH!

This one is pretty simple:

Think about some situations where the signs were actually clear but you walked into the trap anyhow…

Now think about what would have happened if you acted in accordance with the signs…

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And for a quick meditation:                                                                                   

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READING SIGNS...

The Native Americans were famous for it…

Frontiersmen had to learn it…

Detective novels abound with it…

What am I talking about?

Footprints on the path… animal spoor… the pattern of the clouds…

Yes.  The ability to track the signs…

Basic survival skills!

They are as plain - or as obstructed as we want them to be. 

If we pay attention we can read today's signs in our friends, lovers, children and neighbors.

What do ya say?

Are you willing to pay attention to what's there?

Can you read the signs?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a quick meditation:                                                                                   

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES…

Trite?  Maybe.  But true.

Check this one out:

The world is new to us each morning — that is the Lord's gift, and we should believe we are reborn each day.

— Baal Shem Tov

Imagine that you truly lived this way… 

It means that when you wake up each day you at least begin with a clean slate… 

You give yourself that start of the day to appreciate the birdsong, the sun or clouds, or even the rain…

That you breathe deeply and feel the rejuvenating rush of oxygen moving through your body and mind…

How would it feel to start each day with a smile?  Even a little tiny one…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

GIVE IT TO YOURSELF!

Today or tomorrow start your day with a good stretch… 

next take a really deep breathe… and now another…

Imagine that this day is yours… feel the oxygen moving through your system as you take the time to breathe…

Let yourself think about your dreams… the ones you had last night or the ones you want to have today and tomorrow…

How does it feel to create beauty and harmony at the beginning of your day?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a quick morning meditation:                                                                   

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CITY LIFE…

This morning as I was making my coffee I heard a really disturbing sound -

TWEET!   TWEET!

Sort of a high pitched shrieking.

"What now?"  I wondered.

What piece of machinery was self destructing?

The dishwasher?  Was it about to spray water all over the floor?

I envisioned a major flood cascading down to my neighbor…

No, maybe it was the coffee machine itself?

Or even the music system giving a final death gasp?

Suddenly an amazing thing happened…

I looked out the window and there, in a nearby treetop …

Yep!  

A bird was loudly chirping away… serenading the morning…

What do ya say?

Ever find you're losing sight of the song?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - HEY, THAT'S NO WAY…

Remember that farewell scene from The Sound of Music?  listen

And how about that beautiful song about leaving by Leonard Cohen?

listen

Our lives are definitely filled with goodbyes.  

We bid adieu to:

Teachers, friends, family members, lovers, and the places that make up our changing realities…

Think about it.

Each of these goodbyes is actually a transition.  

Check out this definition:  tran·si·tion/tranˈziSH(ə)n,tranˈsiSH(ə)n/

Noun  the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another…

Transitions are difficult for humans!  We have no guarantees of what we will find on the other side of change. 

We fear that whatever it is might be worse than what we are leaving.  

Often when we are the one choosing to leave we worry about those we are 'deserting' and how they will react.

Unfortunately, we learn how to handle this on-going and important life process mostly by trial and error!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

MAKING IT THROUGH THE PORTAL OF CHANGE

Think about some of the early changes that occurred in your life.

A new sibling?

A family move?

Changing from one grade to another, a new school?

How did your parents help you deal with these changes?

Looking back on it now, what did you have to say 'goodbye' to, in order to take a next step in your life?

What feelings went along with the changes?

Once you made it to the new reality, how did you deal with any sense of loss?

How do you think these early 'goodbyes' affected the way you leave people and places today? 

Are you still using the same model for moving through transitions that you learned as a youngster, or have you learned a new, perhaps healthier, way of leaving?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a quick meditation:                                                                                   

Http://tinyurl.com/minimeditations