We humans have the capacity to
experience a wide range of feelings - some upbeat and others on the downbeat
side of the spectrum.
We naturally shift what we feel based
on what we experience. This is a healthy
part of our nature.
Sometimes we frighten ourselves by
thinking that a feeling will never shift and we will be stuck there
forever.
Actually one of the sure ways of
getting stuck is to panic about what we are experiencing and then bully ourselves
into thinking there's something wrong with us for having a that feeling.
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun
ideas...
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN A
FEELING IS OKAY?
1) Ask
yourself what you are reacting to.
Clearly if someone just
died you will feel sad and if someone hurt you it is natural to experience
anger. Does the emotion match the
experience?
2) Have you allowed yourself to 'have' your feeling?
By telling ourselves we shouldn't feel something we often make it worse - holding on to the forbidden rather than just feeling it and letting it go.
3) Ask
yourself if the length of time you are feeling something is in balance with the
experience.
The length of time you
experience a feeling and the intensity of the feeling will be in relation to what
happened. Was it a minor event or a
major occurrence? We often scold others
and ourselves if we don't 'get over it' fast enough. This in itself can create pain!
4) Have
you given yourself permission to let the feeling go?
Here's a great story about
this one: Two monks at the side of a
river see a woman with a child too frail to brave the water. The first monk says "We are required to
help those in need but we are not allowed to touch women. What shall we do?" The second monk picks the woman up, carries her
and the child across the river and the two monks continue on their way. After awhile the first monk says, "But
we are not supposed to touch women!"
And the second monk says," Are you still carrying that woman?"
