GO GET 'EM BOSS!

I was watching this tiny bird today… It was viciously attacking its own reflected image in a shiny object.

ATTACK!  ATTACK!  ATTACK!

And then it backed off - for a minute or two…

But the draw was too strong!

And it was back even more ferocious than before!

Whoa!  Does this remind you of anything?

What do ya say?

Been there?

NITE MUSIC

"I woke in the middle of the night obsessing," she moaned.

"I just kept going over and over everything I've ever done wrong in my whole life!"

Her friend was listening and nodding his head.

"I do that all the time," he agreed. 

"But usually mine is shorter term," he grinned sadly.

"I only deconstruct the past week, going over all the 'shoulda', 'coulda', 'woulda's'…

What do ya say?

Ever do this?

No?

What species did you say you were?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WORKING THOSE COCKEYED DAYS

What did you do wrong?  It has to be your fault, right?

Maybe… but maybe not!

Sometimes it really isn't over to you.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try it's them… or it!

There's a reason mankind has, throughout time, reached for those externals - like the path of the stars or the tilt of the earths' axis - to explain things!

It's because nothing is as harsh - and actually as debilitating - as the whip of our own inner bullies!

When it all goes wrong it's important to shut down that inner bully voice.

Why?  Doesn't it help us keep on moving forward, getting things done?

NO!

On top of all the difficulties you may be dealing with, this harsh, critical voice is paralyzing and immobilizing!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

HEALTHY EXIT STRATEGIES

When it all crashes down around you is the most crucial time to be kind to yourself!

Find a loving inner voice.  This one says:

'Hang in there!'

'We'll figure it out!'

Even that great one:

'One step at a time!'

If it's difficult for you to find this voice within yourself, think of someone whose compassion, kindness and intelligence you admire.  Now take on their persona and talk to yourself as if you were them.

What happens?

WHEN AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED…

Don't you just hate it when you work really hard to accomplish something - give it your all - and it goes sideways!?

So... what?

You try again, right?

Even harder!

And SPLAT! Nothing! 

Then you ask for help…

No dice there either!

What do ya say? You know what happens next, right?

YOU VOTED, RIGHT?
IT COUNTS!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - FINDING IT

If you dance, you know how easy it is to loose your rhythm - a momentary lose of focus, a misstep, a moment spacing out, missing the count…

And you know we're not just talking about dancing, but about life.

You also know that truly successful (ie. satisfied) people know that losing that rhythm is part of being human, and that accepting this reality allows us to re-calibrate and find it again!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

YOUR BULLY IS A RHYTHM BUSTER!

Ever hear yourself mutter any of these:

"I'm lazy!"

"I can't stay focused!

"Should, should, should!"

"Bad, bad, bad!"

What do you think would happen if instead you said:

"No problem, today I'm off.  I am human and I can take a down day!"

And

"I have tools to re-find my rhythm!"

What are your tools?

*Friends and allies

*Deep breathing

*Actually exaggerating the off-centeredness to the point of laughter

*Moving your body as a reminder of where your balance point is

*Singing out loud

*Laughing out loud…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DID YOU GET IT RIGHT?

How in our Universe of multiples can we possibly believe that there is ONE RIGHT CHOICE?

In reality, there are so many paths leading to so many different journeys…

Maybe this distorted belief came about - like many others we have explored - because in our early lives it made things easier for our parents and teachers?

How many parents with their busy lives actually allow their children to explore life's multiples? 

It requires time and patience to sit calmly by as children try 10 different directions or ask all those questions.  

How long does it take before we utter that time honored phrase: 'Because I'm the grown up and I said so!' 

Perhaps, without realizing it, in these moments we are creating that myth that there actually is one correct answer.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

EVER PLAY PARALLEL LIVES?

Imagine you have 3 time lines …

Line 1 is your actual journey from birth to today.  

Like a river, see the flow that this life has created.  

Watch it like a movie.  Add music if you want…

Now create a line 2.

In this one you have different parents, siblings, schooling, friends…

Watch the flow of this alternate reality… 

What do you experience?

And now go for #3.

Again create a different story.  

Ride this one from birth to the present moment. 

Was it easy to create?  

How did it feel?

And finally take one bit from each time line, pick and choose, mix and match…

What happens as you experiment with these interchanges? 

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TOUGH IT OUT!

Habits, and here we are clearly focusing on the 'bad' ones, get created over time, and yet somehow we expect to break them with one mighty tug!

Not terribly logical.

If instead, we allow ourselves to assume that any habitual behavior - by definition created through repetition and over time - will need to be released and transformed in the same way - with time and repetition - we will truly upgrade our chances of success!

Also obstructive is the belief about 'easy'.  We are assured that once we decide to change it should be effortless and painless…

Ask any pro athlete if developing new skills and muscle memory is effortless.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                      An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

TALK TO YOURSELF!

Sometimes, with the struggle to change, we inadvertently create a push/pull between two different parts of ourselves… the 'I want it now!' part and the 'I'm in it for the long run' part…

Get an imaginary dialog going between these two warring parts of yourself...

Part 1:  I should not have to work so hard!  Waaa  waaaa waaaa!  Give me that (fill in the blank ) now!  Stomp stomp!  You can't make me!  NO  NO  NO!

Part 2:  Wait!  I don't want to be stuck here!  I want that different way of doing things - I want to look different, feel differently, act in a different way!

Part 1:  Ugh!  You are such a stick in the mud!  You are no fun and I will not let you control me!  I am in charge and I WANT IT NOW!  GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Part 2:  NO!  I get that this is hard for you and that you are hurting but I count too.  Take a deep breath!  Give me a chance…

Ok, that's a starting dialog.  Take it where it fits for you. 

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - BANISH THE BULLY - BANISH THE BLUES!

Our inner bullies lurk on those dark and dreary days!

Check it out:  Had a tough day?  Are you bullying yourself? 

Listen for clues:

"It's all your fault!"

"What did you do now?!"

"See!  That's what happens when you…"

Sound familiar?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

LET THE SUN SHINE IN!

First tell your inner bully that its being ridiculous.  

'Ridiculous' is an important word.  Bullies, even those internal ones, don't like to be called on their 'stuff'!

Now find some simple sun…

Watch the birds, email friends, fun videos on Yu-Tube, silly songs, listen to music from your favorite era, sing along, dance...

Thank yourself for all the things you do!

FEAR…AND LOATHING

"I really shouldn't have done that!"

He was so angry…

"It totally messed me up!"

His voice held a mixture of self loathing and contempt.

What did he do?

Well, this time it was not paying attention to where he was going and showing up late to an important meeting…

But it could have been anything in a long list from saying the wrong thing to listening to the wrong person…

Have you ever heard anyone say, "I can't believe I did something so stupid!"?

Not you, right?

What do ya say?

Do you get how this works?