SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - AND IF YOU BELIEVED THAT…

So, what's the problem with buying into those 'pretty' stories?

The 'happily ever afters', and the lovey, dovey perfect family movies?  All those magic, easy solutions?

The problem is simply that it's not real! If we believe the fantasy, we take away our weapons - our skill sets, our 'stick to it', 'work through it' powers…

If it's all supposed to be rainbows and unicorns, we undermine our strength by believing that something is wrong with us when we are faced with reality.

There is a lot of beauty in life, and we can often create a sense of ease, but not by trying to erase the truth: that it is often, also hard!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS              An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS YOU THINK SHOULD BE EASY:

    Work?

    Meeting new people?

    Relationships?

    Family issues?

    Love?

    Dealing with feelings?

All the things that are magically resolved in our fairy tales…

What do you think might change if you acknowledged that these things are indeed challenging, that there is nothing wrong with you because you find them difficult?

Think about it:

Is it possible that without the overlay of 'make believe' these issues might actually be easier to go through?

RUINED!

Ever hear of brumotactillophobia?

Ever watch a little kid refuse to eat because the carrots touched the peas?

"It's all ruined!" the child sobs.

Yep.  That's brumotactillophobia.

And how might that translate to our grown up world?

Ever try really hard to accomplish something and have one little thing fall apart and 'ruin' everything?

What do ya say?

Get it?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - LOST IT ALREADY?

Did you know that 80% of us break our New Year's resolutions by February?

How come?

Maybe because we are setting ourselves up to fail by creating unrealistic expectations…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

DID YOU SET YOURSELF UP THIS YEAR?

How many resolutions did you make?

How many are the same as last year?

How did those work out?

How many do you REALLY expect to keep this year?

DOWN IN THE DUMPS?

"Don't know what's the matter with me," she said.  "It must be the weather…"

Uh huh…

"Don't know what's the matter with me," he said.  "Must be looking at my bank balance after the holidays…"

Uh huh…

"Don't know what's the matter with me," they said.  "Must be all the weight I gained over the holiday…"

What do ya say?  

Do you have those post-holiday blues?

PROMISES, PROMISES

You know what we're talking about here, right?

Or at least you can guess…

Yup!

Those tricky New Year's Resolutions.

Did you know this tradition is reputedly 4000 years old?

Supposedly it all started with those pesky Babylonians making New Year's promises to the gods…

If they kept their promises the gods were happy, if not…

What do ya say?

Ever manage to keep them?  How long?

COUNTING THEM

WINTER.

Cold, rainy day…

Ugh.

Waaah   Waaah   Waaah

But

I haven't seen any mosquitos…

Or Boa constrictors…

Or alligators…

What do ya say?

You get it right?

Gotta count those little blessings

WHO ARE YOU?

Remember that great scene from Alice in Wonderland?

Check it out:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf5nCPFBSHw

So, who are you?

What is your self concept or self image?

Who taught you how to define yourself?

Does what you believe help you or harm you?

What do ya say?

Whose eyes do you see yourself through?

SLOGGING THROUGH THE DOWN DAYS

We all have them - that's reality…

Those days when everything seems to be crashing down around us.

We can make them worse with those ubiquitous mantras:

    'Why me?'

    'It's not fair!'

    'Everything happens to me…'

    'So and so has it waaay easier than I do…'

Or we can make them better by taking a deep breath and maybe just hiding under the bed for awhile…

What do ya say?

You get it, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WORKING THOSE COCKEYED DAYS

What did you do wrong?  It has to be your fault, right?

Maybe… but maybe not!

Sometimes it really isn't over to you.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try it's them… or it!

There's a reason mankind has, throughout time, reached for those externals - like the path of the stars or the tilt of the earths' axis - to explain things!

It's because nothing is as harsh - and actually as debilitating - as the whip of our own inner bullies!

When it all goes wrong it's important to shut down that inner bully voice.

Why?  Doesn't it help us keep on moving forward, getting things done?

NO!

On top of all the difficulties you may be dealing with, this harsh, critical voice is paralyzing and immobilizing!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

HEALTHY EXIT STRATEGIES

When it all crashes down around you is the most crucial time to be kind to yourself!

Find a loving inner voice.  This one says:

'Hang in there!'

'We'll figure it out!'

Even that great one:

'One step at a time!'

If it's difficult for you to find this voice within yourself, think of someone whose compassion, kindness and intelligence you admire.  Now take on their persona and talk to yourself as if you were them.

What happens?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CRASH LANDINGS

How many times in our lives is the 'runway too short' - but we persist in trying to come in for a landing anyway?

Instead of backing off and viewing the limitations of a situation (the runway) and making realistic plans, we often just keep trying.

There are many sayings in our cultures that applaud persistence:

'Fake it 'til you make it'

'Try, try again'

We've all heard them and probably been influenced by the hype!

Why 'hype'?

Because, for us, like the hawk in yesterday's post, taking a realistic scan and re-grouping can save our feathers!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about some of the times when you persisted unrealistically instead of stepping back and analyzing the situation, and either giving up or finding a new strategy.

Check out your interactions with others:

Do you say:  'If I just try hard enough, talk loud enough, they'll hear me and understand…

How about trying to reach diet, weight or exercise goals?

How often have you put yourself through the same plan, crashed, and then figured you just had to try harder?

NOW THINK ABOUT THE POTENTIAL FOR A NEW SCRIPT…

ABORTED LANDINGS…

I watched a red tail hawk try to come in for a landing on my terrace…

He was hungrily eye-balling my plump flock of doves…

This is his second sad attempt.

I have to admire his persistence but if the sucker crashes into the wall I am going to be so angry!

I hate the thought of all that beauty smushed!

Let's face it the runway is just too short.

What do ya say?  Can you relate?

KVELL, MUCH?

How many times today - yesterday - even the day before - did you pat yourself on the shoulder and say 'yea!'?

Okay, so the day wasn't perfect and there were a lot of things on that list of yours that didn't get crossed off…

And maybe all your interactions with other humans weren't exactly perfect…

It's really easy to pick it apart, isn't it?

But…

How many times did you smile at what you did manage?

What do ya say? You realize why this is important, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MAKING A CHOICE!

Let's face it, it's easier to say 'people don't like me because of who I am' (totally out of my hands), rather than saying, 'it's something I am doing that is causing this reaction', (in my hands).

Maybe I don't really care?

Maybe I am okay with the impact I am having?

Fine, but…

I need to call it like it is, acknowledging my choices and the repercussions they create…

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about a few times recently when you felt like you were on the losing side of an interaction…

Now, for a moment, imagine that you do have power, and actually might be creating some of the reaction that you are getting.

Imagine that you just might be acting in a way that helps create this outcome and… that perhaps, just perhaps, the outcome is something you might have an investment in!

OUTGOING!

Ever think about the impact you have on others?

You know, how they react to you?

Ever wonder how much you confuse/conflate their responses with your output?

What do ya say?

How many times have you just assumed they don't like you because of who you are… and not because of how you act?