We all have a really difficult time with that feeling of being taken by
surprise by someone else's behavior - shocked that we didn't see it coming.
Good poker players pay attention to 'tells' - those little behavioral give-aways
that predict an opponent's next move.
In our interactions with others there are also 'tells' and the better we
get at reading them the less we feel thrown off our own game.
Often we erase our observation of these predictive signs of behavior because
we don't want to face an unpleasant reality, but seeing it like it is - or, most likely, is going to be - is actually
a healthy way of dealing with the world - and it's always possible that we will
be pleasantly surprised if our read is wrong!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun ideas...
CATCHING EMOTIONAL 'TELLS'
In reality we all
have the ability to read others pretty well - sometimes we just need a little
refresher course…
Think about the
behaviors that you see in the people around you that tend to be repetitive and
predictive of their behavior…
Imagine
that you are a detective on a case and looking for clues… without realizing it,
you probably have a pretty good skill set just by the virtue of time spent
around others and observation…
(The famous Miss Marple from the Agatha
Cristi mysteries always figured it out - and claimed that it was just a matter
of paying attention to behavior that she'd seen before…)
Here's a list of some well known 'tells':
Changes in breathing
Fidgeting
Facial expressions
Tone of voice
Nervous tics
Lip pursing
Shift in gaze
Repetition
These
'tells' clue you to the fact that something
is going on - paying attention to what happens next and then seeing and
accepting the pattern - makes life easier!
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