WHAT'S IN A WORD?

Today a complete stranger called me 'sweetie'...

You know what that means, right?

They either thought I was under the age of 5 or over the age of…

What do ya say?

Ever really stop to think about the impact of your words on those around you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE GIFT OF POO

Here's the deal:  Instead of jumping all over your own case when you step in it - again - play detective!

Accept that there is a reason for the repeated trip and fall - it is obviously something unfinished.

Accept that this means that this particular bump promises new learning!

New learning - understanding and unraveling the 'why's' of a particular behavior - allows us to release that particular hook and move on - always creating more freedom and self empowerment!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

UNTYING THE KNOT

Ask yourself:

What is this about?

What is it about me?

What can I learn?

How do I get smarter and stronger by understanding this?

NOT AGAIN!

"OMG I keep ending up in the same dog doo!"

"What is wrong with me?"

Any of this sound familiar?  Metaphorically speaking, of course…

What do ya say?

Ever think there might be a big old bow tied around that poo?

You know, a message waiting for you to finally get…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IT IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!

Life deals.  We react.

Some of our reactions are old and programmed by our past - by our childhoods, cultures, life experiences…

But

We are not without choices!

One big choice is to work through the old beliefs and create a new sense of freedom.

It is possible!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CHANGE IS NOT DENIAL OF THE PAST!

Acknowledge where you might be stuck.

First, look at your old beliefs and conditioning.

Next, recognize that most of these are learned responses and as such can be un- learned!

Forgive yourself and others as a way of letting go of the past.  This one might take some time and effort!

Now, catch yourself acting out those old beliefs.

And finally, experiment with new behavior.

WHERE DO YOU BELONG?

Check this out: two people, similar circumstances, two different realities…

"I always felt like an outsider," the first one said sadly.

"We travelled a lot and I always looked and sounded so different from everyone else…"

"I always felt like an insider," the second person said winking.

"We travelled a lot but I was always sure that I was adopted by my parents and really belonged to whatever culture we were in…"

What do ya say?

What's real?

What works for you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!

Imagine you didn't have to believe all those old sayings:

'Work is always hard.'

'Being sick is terrible.'

'Spacing out is a waste of time.'

'Sleeping late is bad.'

It's a pretty long list that we have been indoctrinated with.  There must have been a good reason to believe those things, right?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Make a list of your own ingrained negative beliefs…

Actually writing them out can be an amazing exercise…

Now see if you can discover where these beliefs came from.

And finally…

Imagine erasing them from your defaults…

What would happen?  How do you think you'd feel?

MONDAY MORNING…

It's supposed to be hard, right?

Isn't that what we learned all those years in school?

The weekend is fun and then comes Monday.  Ugh!

What do ya say?

Does this make sense?

Two fun days and 5 not?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!

To want to ignore meanness and irrationality makes total sense…

But as a strategy?  Seriously defective!

We don't like seeing the dark side of others, especially when we recognize our powerless to control it.

In reality this aspect of humankind is frightening but when we ignore it, at the best we waste time, and at the worst we weaken our defenses and open ourselves to trouble!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

3 SELF CARE STEPS:

1)  See it!

As tempting as it is, ignoring warning signs is dangerous!

2)  Recognize the signs!

If several people say the same thing about someone, pay attention.

Sudden flares of anger - rants - should ring warning bells.

Irrational behavior, either verbal or actions, should also ring those alarms.

3)  Pay attention to your own arrogance!

'I can handle it' is a definite self warning.

NASTY IS AS NASTY DOES

Ever notice yourself in a situation where someone goes out of their way to slug you any chance they get?

Ever run into someone who seriously dislikes you and loves the idea of having power over you?

It's particularly aggravating when it feels totally irrational - when you shake your head and wonder what alternative universe you've stumbled into.

What do ya say?

How do you deal with this?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE SET UP

"So," they ask, "tell me all about…"

"So, how do you…"

Or

"So, what do you think…"

At first we are flattered by the attention, the 'ask', but then CLANG!

We are slammed by the negation, by the brush off...

It feels awful to fall into this trap. (Sometimes the process is actually called 'bear trapping'!)

Why do people play this game?

Are they really interested in your opinion or are they just manipulating themselves into an upper hand?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN 'ASKS'

Are you really looking for information?

If not, what ulterior motive might you have when you ask a question?

What does it do for you to create this situation?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

"You have such beautiful skin!" she enthused.

"How do you do it?"

"Sun block," I answered.  "I wear it all the time"

"THAT'S RIDICULOUS!" she proclaimed in a very loud, angry and strident tone.

What do ya say?

Ever been down this particular rabbit hole?

On either side?

SCRATCHING AN ITCH

You know how good it feels, right?

You dig in and go for it…

And there's that immediate sensory reward.

Are we just talking about bug bites?

Nope!

What do ya say?

How many emotional and intellectual itches have you scratched lately?

Fun, huh?

THANKING OTHERS, THANKING YOURSELF

'Thank you' is the opposite of bullying.

Unfortunately, bullying ourselves and others is a frequent modus operandi in our culture.

Truly ineffective in the long run, bullying is a set up for resentment and backlash!

On the other hand, true appreciation of ourselves and others almost always opens doors to forward momentum!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

PRACTICING APPRECIATION

* Each day: look in the mirror and say 3 thank you's to the face looking back  at you.

* Look out the window and feel appreciation for the sky, the clouds, the  birds…

* Say a heart felt thank you to 3 other people today - and mean it!

What happens as you do this?

THE ART OF APPRECIATION

Ever hear of 'Thank money'?

It's what we call 'tips'.

Where'd that 'T' word come from anyway?

Giving thanks to those who are there for us, really is an art form.

Think about it…

If you do a mandated percentage, or automatically mouth the words, it's a very different thing than what we're talking about.

'Thank money' like any true 'thank you' is the acknowledgment of an upgrading of your reality by another person. 

What do ya say?  Do you get this?

Do you give this?