SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - MIGHT IT REALLY BE GOLDEN?

Quiet doesn't seem to get high marks in our lives.

Can you remember the last time you were praised for being silent?Maybe in grade school...  

When we're quiet, we often assume that others tend to think the worst about us - or maybe that's only what we think they're thinking?

Hmmm

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT'S YOUR SILENCE TOLERANCE?

Which of the following fit for you?

* I can sit quietly and be comfortable with my own silence and that of others.

* If it's quiet too long I think something's wrong.

* When I'm with people and there's silence I have to fill it in.

* If someone doesn't respond to me right away, I get nervous and start chattering or asking questions.

* If there's a lull in a conversation I tend to think the other person is bored and try to be entertaining.

* I hate silence.  I always fill it in with negative thoughts.

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - NAIL IT!

A personal mantra is a positive phrase or affirmative statement that we say to ourselves - a statement or slogan repeated frequently.

This self-talk, especially with added sound, can help keep our focus strong.

The idea of Mantras seems to be originally connected to Hinduism and Buddhism, although we imagine that even earliest humans had communal sounds that created forward momentum…

There is some research to suggest that a word or sound repeated in this manner can work neurologically to create synaptic connections which calm and focus the mind.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

CREATING YOUR MANTRA

Remember a sound, a tone of voice that was positive for you.  Maybe a lullaby sound from a parent, or a hurrah from a coach or teacher.

Experiment with making that sound until you experience a positive reaction.  Hints that it works would be a smile, a deep breath, a relaxation of muscles.

Now think about a goal you have.  Put the goal into words.  Maybe even write it down. 

Now create a shorthand for that goal.  Maybe 3 or 4 words that are your own code. 

Now try adding the intonation or hum to your words.  Does it remind you of your goal?  Does it feel like a strong tap on the shoulder?  If not tweak until it works.

This Mantra now belongs to you.  It can keep changing as your goal shifts - always with the intention of supporting you through words and sound!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SAY WHAT?

We are constantly giving ourselves hypnotic suggestions! 

Think about it.

All that 'self-talk', the repetitious inner dialog we barrage ourselves with, can easily fit the definition of self hypnosis and have unintended consequences!

How many times during the day are you un-consciously creating and reinforcing negative beliefs about yourself?

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

  An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

HOW MANY OF THESE ARE PART OF YOUR DAILY SELF TALK?

I can't…

I'm not good at…

I never could…

I'm always late…

No one listens to me…

I'm not appreciated…

No one really cares about me…

There are no good people out there…

That makes me sick…

It'll be the death of me…

How many more can you add to the list?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE GIFT OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Realistic expectations are crucial in human emotional dealing and healing.

When something happens that 'gets under our skin' it's usually for a good reason! 

Sometimes it's because it is totally unexpected and we feel blindsided.  In these cases we hold onto it as if that will allow us to be prepared the next time something hits out of the blue.

Sometimes an incident is difficult to walk away from because it taps into old unfinished family drama.  Once we realize what old story it is tapping into we can use it to help us take a step in healing the old wound.

And sometimes something happens that challenges our view of how things should be in the world!  These experiences are particularly difficult because in order to resolve them we have to revise our own beliefs!

The most important - and beneficial - aspect of unfinished business is to see it as a potential opportunity for personal growth!

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Do you find yourself re-running the 'film' of something that happened in the past?

Are you repeating the same scenes again and again?

Do you say the same lines in your head as you imagine the incident?

If so you might think of yourself as 'STUCK'!

To un-stuck:

Play with the story!

Run the 'film' of the event backwards!  Yes, you can!  

At this point in time it really is your story and you can manipulate it any way you want…

Imagine what you might do differently if the last scene played first.

Change your lines!  This story now belongs to you and you can be as outrageous as you want!

Change the scenery, the costumes.

The idea of this manipulation is to empower yourself and realize that once the actual event is over all that remains is the story you are telling yourself - and you have a lot of control of your self-talk!

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WHO'S TALKING NOW?

The man sitting in the chair was talking about a problem with his wife.

"I really can't stand my wife!  She is not worthy of someone like me…"

His eyes popped open.

"OMG, "he gasped.  "I can't believe I just said that!  That is totally my mother's voice!  She never liked my wife!"

And listen to this one:

"I know," she insisted, "exactly what you mean!"

"You are telling me I am acting like a spoiled, self-indulgent child!"

"Don't tell me that's not what you mean!  I know what I heard…"

Guess whose voice she was actually hearing? 

Yup.  Her mother's voice - definitely not the person actually in the room with her…

Does any of this sound familiar?

What do ya say?

Can you see how holding onto old 'sound bytes' and replaying them in the present moment can really burn you?

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – HOW TO TALK TO YOURSELF LIKE A PRO

Someone once asked Einstein how he came up with one of his famous theories.  To paraphrase:  he responded that he was sitting and staring out the window, not thinking about anything at all. . .

Self hypnotic trance states are something we easily slide into during the course of our days.  Staring out the window, listening to music, sometimes even driving! 

While formal induction techniques vary, in reality, relaxation, narrowed focus of attention, reduced awareness of the external environment and increased internal awareness can easily float us into that highly suggestible state.

These self induced trance states can be effective tools for modifying behavior and healing.


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DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...    


DO YOU THINK YOU CAN . . . OR THINK YOU CAN’T?

Since it is obvious that we are often creating self hypnotic trances lets see what we can do to upgrade this influential self-talk!

Try these fun steps:

Think about some of the negative suggestions that you give yourself.  They might include:  I can’t, I never, it’s not possible for me . . . You know the list!  This is self talk of the worst kind – a constant, often not even conscious,  limiting refrain.

Now create your own Imaginary Personal Hypnotist!  Develop a character that is always available to step up and whisper positive, but realistic suggestions in your ear.

What does your IPH (Yup - Imaginary Personal Hypnotist ) look like?

Sound like?  Create a strong, rhythmic voice that you enjoy hearing.

Remember this being does not have to be human…

Now create some readily available phrases that this IPH can use on a regular basis. 

Possibles:  “You can do it!”  “Hang in there!”  “I’m with you!”  “We’re in it for the long run!”

And finally schedule some daily ‘hypnotherapy sessions’ at some of your more vulnerable moments.  These would possibly be high stress times or some of those times that you know you are ‘trancing’!

           



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SELF HYPNOSIS - TALK TO YOURSELF LIKE A PRO

Remember that wonderful children’s story, The Little Engine that Could?
For those of you too young to remember . . .  

“In the tale, a long train must be pulled over a high mountain. Larger engines . . .are asked to pull the train; for various reasons they refuse. The request is sent to a small engine, who agrees to try. The engine succeeds in pulling the train over the mountain while repeating its motto: "I-think-I-can".

The story of the little engine has been told and retold many times. The underlying theme is the same — a stranded train is unable to find an engine willing to take it over difficult terrain to its destination. 

Only the little blue engine is willing to try and, while repeating the mantra "I think I can, I think I can," overcomes a seemingly impossible task.”   read more

Did you realize it was actually published in the 1930’s?

Even waaay back then there was the realization that we strongly influence our outcomes by our “self talk”.

And no matter how you spin it, self talk is really self hypnosis in disguise!

Think about it.  How many times during the day do you program yourself with ‘I can’ or I can’t’?

What do ya say?



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