DEFYING GRAVITY

Ever watch a kangaroo bounce through the air?

For us they often seem the epitome of joy as the leap and bound seemingly ungoverned by gravity…

Gravity?  What a concept!

Can anything hold a kangaroo down?

Check this out:

'Holding a kangaroo's tail off the ground prevents it from being able to jump.'  read more

Interesting thought …

What do ya say?

Remember That great song from 'Wicked'? listen here

What keeps you grounded?

To share your thoughts click below…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE BIG GOTCHA

Why do people set emotional bear traps?

Perhaps because they're angry and believe the trap is the only way they can get what they want - POWER!

Here's the trap setting modus operandi:

Trappers feel anger which for them equals a loss of power.  This creates frustration and the setting of the trap.  The trapper uses seduction with hints of positive outcomes as the bear is coaxed into the snare… and snap!  GOTCHA!

At this point the trapper experiences a sense of joy often disguised as remorse and feigned surprise at the 'unexpected' whimpering of that poor bear…

And the bear?

The bear wonders what the f*ck happened and how it got into this ridiculous situation!

Bear trapping is a nasty sport!

Obviously, it hurts the bear as it's designed to …

But it also limits the emotional expansion of the trapper.

Think about it…

Vengeance and retribution - the ingredients of bear trapping - freeze the ability of the trapper to move past the negative feelings that they are reacting to and keep them trapped in their own morass!

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

GETTING OUT OF THE TRAP IN FIVE STEPS

Step 1 - Awareness is the key.

See it for what it is!  Someone is angry at you and instead of having the guts to deal with their anger in a healthy, healing way, they set you up to take a fall - NOT NICE!

Step 2 - Let it go.

So, they got you…  Hey, it was obviously super important to them or they would not have made the effort and truthfully, they are showing you that they are not worth your time and energy!

               

                                 

Step 3 - You can't fix it - so don't try!

                                       

These people are - at least in this part of their lives - stuck at age 3!  If you attempt to reason with them remember who you are talking to - a 3 year old! And how reasonable are they?

Step 4 - Suffering does not help!

They have to figure out a way to resolve their own feelings - you do not help them by suffering!

Step 5 - Pat yourself on the back.

Even if it's after the event, pat yourself on the back for recognizing the game - and be happy that at least you can move on!

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BEAR TRAPPING FOR…

Ever get caught in an emotional bear trap?

Bet you never heard of this one…but if you're like most of us, I bet you've been down this road once or twice!

What is bear trapping?

It is vicious because it's sneaky, deceptive and cruel!

The trap is set with honey:

Seduction, enticement, delusion…

It's designed to lure you into trouble, to entice and entangle and inveigle you with promises of good things to come, all the while preparing to SNAP! as soon as you trustingly step into that spring loaded snare!

What do ya say?

Can you think of a few times you've been lured into a baaad situation?

To comment click below…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - ACTING OUT MUCH?

What makes us 'shoot ourselves in the foot'? 

We are not talking about those accidental absolutely unforeseen incidents. 

No, this is about those times that we really, kinda, sorta know that what we are about to do is a guaranteed disaster - or at least a mini-mess.

This behavior is so pervasive that it almost seems like an integral part of our nature…

And perhaps it is?

Maybe this type of rebellion - this breaking of the rules - which we first see around age 2, allows us to create emotional breathing space?

If so, can we find ways to allow this part of our selves to have a voice without creating chaos?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

THE ART OF IMAGINARY ACTING OUT

This part of ourselves - the Imp - can actually be delightful - if we engage it consciously!

TRY THIS:

Next time you feel stuck or bogged down - or even depressed - engage your Imp!

Imagine the most outrageous behavior and let yourself enjoy the fantasy! 

Angry with someone?  Feel you've been done wrong?  In a situation where words are not okay? 

Engage your Imp! 

Visualize yourself doing outrageous, naughty, highly unacceptable behavior. 

Feeling scared, uncertain?  

Do you remember that famous advice for public speakers?  You know, imagining the people in the front row sitting there in their underwear… 

This is the Imp at its best.

Remember:  no one else needs to know why you're smiling and letting things roll off your back!

To comment click below…

THE IMP OF THE PERSERSE - ACT II

There is a wonderful short story called "The Imp of the Perverse" written by 19th century American author Edgar Allan Poe.  

Ever read it?

In the story Poe focuses on the amazingly pervasive and really confounding human self-destructive impulse.   

He calls it The Imp of the Perverse.   

Ever feel it?

Poe describes this as the thing that tempts a person to do something, in Poe's words, "merely because we feel we should not."   read more

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Think spitballs…

Or gossip that you know will come back on you…

Taking too long to respond to an email…

Cheating…

What do ya say?

Can you relate?

Ever shoot yourself in the foot?

To comment click below…

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DO YOU NEED TO LISTEN?

What causes us to internalize our parent's voices, especially those negative, critical statements?

Here's a thought: Anthropologists used to believe that Cannibals would eat only the most powerful of their vanquished enemies, thereby internalizing that power… 

Perhaps children do something similar? 

Or perhaps when we are little we are in a constant state of 'hypnotic trance' absorbing the sound bytes that come our way, internalizing them and then pulling them out to use on ourselves at given times?

We seem to apply these internalized negative phrases to ourselves in moments of high stress, fear and anxiety - which might be exactly the conditions that were present in the moments that we learned them.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

DE-FUSING THOSE INTERNALIZED SOUND BYTES…

First:  Identify the voice

Can you teach yourself to catch that negative message as it 'plays'? 

Pay attention to changes in your body posture.  Can you feel the shift in the way you stand?

Pay attention to the internal tone of your voice.  Does it suddenly seem 'louder'?  More strident? 

Next:  Ask yourself what situations trigger that nasty self-criticism.

Some of the possibilities might be: 

Stress

Performance

Disappointment

Fear

Anxiety

Finally:  Have a conversation with the internalized voice.

Play it out loud.  Try exaggeration.  Sing to it - Check out the Rolling Stones, "Get off of my Cloud" .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3F4GmbHl5g

The idea is to help you recognize that something has triggered an old, very useless piece of noise that can only cause interference in the present!

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WHO'S TALKING NOW?

The man sitting in the chair was talking about a problem with his wife.

"I really can't stand my wife!  She is not worthy of someone like me…"

His eyes popped open.

"OMG, "he gasped.  "I can't believe I just said that!  That is totally my mother's voice!  She never liked my wife!"

And listen to this one:

"I know," she insisted, "exactly what you mean!"

"You are telling me I am acting like a spoiled, self-indulgent child!"

"Don't tell me that's not what you mean!  I know what I heard…"

Guess whose voice she was actually hearing? 

Yup.  Her mother's voice - definitely not the person actually in the room with her…

Does any of this sound familiar?

What do ya say?

Can you see how holding onto old 'sound bytes' and replaying them in the present moment can really burn you?

To comment click below