SERIOUSLY SPEAKING

Hearing is believed to be  one of our most important senses – again looking at evolution and survival of the species – we could hear those predators coming at us before we saw them…

Scientists are understanding more and more the impact that sound and language have on our lives.

Hypnotherapists, who use their voices to help us heal, stress how careful they have to be in their use of language.  When we are in a trance state it is believed that our brain may not process negatives.  Think about what happens when you say, “Don’t sit!” to your dog.  Ever wonder why he plops right down?

Perhaps when we are talking to each other we are always in a ‘trance state’…



DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


How do you ‘double check’ your verbal out-going messages?   Computers have spell and grammar checks.  What do you use?

For one day, or even one hour for those of us who are ‘focus challenged’, double check your communication.   How?
           
      
 Use your eyes:
           
           Does the visual response you are getting match what you’d expect?

If it seems off, try re-stating – remember louder doesn’t do it!

And neither does repeating the same words…

Try:

“I’m not sure I communicated that  well, what I meant to say was…”

                                              

                                               Or

“I think I gave you the wrong idea, what I meant was…”

Lots of variations on this theme – try your own and let us know the results!

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DOG TRAINING 101

“I told her exactly what I felt – actually many times – but I guess she just didn’t care…”

“No,” she said.  “He never told me!”

Remember that old dog training saying, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, sit!”

“Communication,” my Dad the attorney, used to say, “isn’t what comes out of your mouth.  It’s what is received by the other guy!”

So, during that couples session as I translated what the man was saying – trying to say – his wife’s eyes popped open. 

“Oh, my gosh,” she said shaking her head. 

“I didn’t have a clue that was what you were saying!”

How often do you imagine your feelings have been hurt because of poor ‘translations’?

   Woof!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING

One very interesting concept about flaws and imperfections comes from the Navajo culture. 

The famous rugs of the Navajo always include a purposeful imperfection. 

It is believed that this helps maintain the humility of the weaver and also allows an outlet for energy. 

 (read more)

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


Ever notice how your eye goes directly to the ‘flaw’? 

Let’s use some creative imagery to experiment with this strange phenomenon and see what happens:

Think back to a moment when you got fixated on one of your own imperfections.  For some of us it might have been this morning…

In case one doesn’t come to mind here’s a list to choose from:
           
            Wrinkles
            Pimples
            Imperfect facial feature    
            Body shape
            Weight …
            And of course hair…

Now focus on this area of your body.   

Imagine you could see it on a large tv screen. 

Visualize the imperfection and allow it to get bigger and bigger until it takes up the whole screen!

Now intensify the color – maybe it goes neon or strobe light intense.  Perhaps it flashes?

Whoa!   Now breathe deeply and make it even bigger until it takes over the entire room…

Check it out and get into the show.

And then as you continue to breathe deeply, shrink the image all the way down to a pin point…

How does it feel now?

And finally, continuing to breathe deeply, allow this pin point of energy to fly off into the cosmos - farther and farther away until it is no more…

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BAD HAIR DAYS

Talk about one day at a time…

How can something change so dramatically overnight? 

Yesterday my hair was perfect - and today?  Mamie Eisenhower bangs, skunk lines along my scalp and one side longer that the other!  How did that happen?

And what about those days when you wake up with a pimple on the tip of your nose?

Okay, I know, pretty superficial, right?  But let’s face it – who do you see in the mirror when you’re brushing your teeth in the morning? 

A hotty … or the Loch Ness Monster?

And don’t tell me that doesn’t affect your day!

Maybe it’s all a Zen meditation? 

A challenge to accept the ever evolving ups and downs of life?

What do ya think?  How do you handle those changes?

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SUNDAY SMILES

APARTMENT HUNTING NEW YORK STYLE

I saw 250 apartments in my search for the perfect home.  This is not an exaggeration.  I know because after seeing the same place for the third time, I began keeping notes!

Number 52 was quite an experience...

The broker called me in a frenzy of excitement.  “Quick” she yelled into the phone.  “Get downstairs and I’ll pick you up.  This great new place just came onto the market!  We’ll be the first to see it!  Hurry!”

Being first, I learned, was a point of honor among real estate brokers. 

We zoomed through the streets to this Upper East Side building.  Leaving her car double parked, we rushed breathlessly into the lobby.

We had to wait for the elevator – for quite awhile, actually.

“I’m sure it’s usually much faster,” she reassured me.  “Must be the owner moving out…”

And indeed it was... 

My agent had neglected to tell me that the ‘first alert’ she got was on the police band. 

As the elevator door opened paramedics wheeled a covered gurney out the door…

And no, I did not go to see that apartment!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING

Being stuck means not having a sound exit strategy.

In life we always need to be able to imagine our next step – even if it’s just across the street!  

Remember that play by Existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre called "No Exit"?  In it hell was defined as a room with no way out...(read more)

In reality since all nature is in a state of flux, our belief about being stuck is just that – a belief!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

To recognize the silver lining in a situation does not mean to be a Pollyanna – we need to see things realistically, to look at a situation square on – especially one that seems negative.

The silver linings are almost always there, but when we try to ‘override’ the negative they can stay hidden.

So: 

First call it like it is!

“This sucks!”

“I hate it!”

“I can’t stand it!”

“I want to kill…”

You get the idea – If you want to rant and rave, go for it – just be respectful of your neighbors!

Second:  Ask yourself if there could possibly be a hidden message.  What can you learn from this position?

(Remember Mary from yesterday’s post?  Her message was:  time to quit!

You might have to probe a little but with perseverance and smarts you’ll find it.    

Malcolm Forbes said: “Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.” 

Ask yourself if you’re still ‘becoming’, evolving in the situation.  Does it still have juice for you or have you already reached the diamond stage and it’s time to move on?

Third:  Go for it!  Life is short.  Pay attention to what it’s telling you!

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GIFTS COME IN STRANGE PACKAGES

Mary wanted to quit her job for a long time.  She just couldn’t pull the trigger.  Her boss was great, adored her and obviously really needed her.  She was so tired and worn out, but how could she just walk away?

This was a big job and getting bigger all the time… lets face it, she was stuck!

And then came what she termed, “The worst day of my life!”

Okay, she was somewhat prone to exaggeration… but still, it was really bad:

A one day turn around flight overseas, a disgusting meeting with extremely rude people YELLING at her – actually accusing her of misconduct!

And then the final straw – her adoring boss telling her - after the fact – that this was exactly what he had expected!

Whew!

So guess what happened?

You got it!  She quit!

And therein lies the gift…

Have any good silver lining stories to share?

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