SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DEFUSING DARK CLOUDS

To neutralize a toxic substance you are exposed to it helps to know its ingredients. 

It is an interesting phenomenon that humans usually look for their own 'fault' in whatever happens.  'How did that happen?' our parents ask us during our childhoods.  'What did you do?'

With Dark Cloud People it is important to realize that most of the time you are irrelevant to the mix… 

Dark Cloud People carry an enveloping cloud of anger with them that can contaminate everything that it comes in contact with.  

This anger comes from all their perceived hurts, insults, lack of acknowledgement, and sustained emotional injuries throughout their lifetimes. 

Heavy. 

When they dump that cloud on someone else they feel a sense of relief!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM THE CLOUD BURST

Sometimes we are in a position to totally avoid these bad news folks…but sometimes they walk into our lives in the guise of family, office mates, neighbors…

Hubris (you know that arrogance of ours that makes us think that we are truly unique and can handle anything) often allows us to see how the Dark Cloud Person is raining their toxic mix down on others, but leads us to believe that we will be spared. 

False!  Sooner or later this barrage of poison will be directed at you…

To protect yourself:

1)  See it coming. 

2)  Recognize that you are not immune - it's just a matter of time!

3)  Don't look for your fault!

4)  Duck! 

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - EMOTIONAL BOMB SHELTERS

How do you protect yourself from indirect emotional hits - better known as passive aggressive attacks?

Remember they tend to come out of the blue and take us by surprise, which is part of their power.

Can we tune into the high pitched sound of incoming loads about to be dropped on our heads?

The answer is yes!  

The sound - in this case tone of voice, the words - often setting up the attack with excuses and justifications: 

"I don't mean to bother you but…"

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but…"

And yes, the word 'but' is a big giveaway.

Facial expression is another great clue - check out smiles combined with those 'apologetic' words.

And finally, how you feel as the bomb drops on your head.  Short of breath?  Tight muscles?  Nauseas?  All signs of an indirect bomb hit!

Once you start tuning into the rhythm and signs of these attacks they become really obvious and you can learn to duck!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

LEARNING TO DUCK…

Here are some easy 'get-away' lines to use once you recognize an incoming bomb:

"Oops!  The phone's (the doorbell's) ringing.  Gotta go!"

"Oh my gosh!  I just realized I'm running late for…Gotta go!"

"Oops!  Gotta go!  Major stomach attack!"

You get the idea - give yourself permission to get out of the path of that nasty incoming attack!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SNAKE ENERGY

'Snake Energy' is our ability to react to dangerous or threatening situations with lightening fast, instinctive moves that are designed to throw off the enemy, change the situation and restore a balance of power.

We are probably born with this survival skill but early 'intervention' and training in 'civilized behavior' tends to short circuit this important facet of our behavioral spectrum.

 DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

3 EASY STEPS TO RE-OWN YOUR ABILITY TO REACT INSTINCTIVELY:

(Remember this is not about permission to be inappropriate - just the opposite!)

1)  Remove caveats and restrictions and old rules of engagement.  

Sometimes it is not appropriate to be 'nice'!

2)  Practice!  

Think about past situations where you walked away feeling bad, put down, frightened.  

Would 'snake energy' have been appropriate?  

Re-write the scenarios using this instinctive, often counter intuitive, approach. 

3)  Allow your creativity free reign.  

Sometimes a smile when people are expecting you to cringe can be incredibly powerful.  

A whisper can often be heard much louder than a shout. 

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