WHERE'S THE POWER?

"I knew it wasn't good for me to do but…"

"I didn't really feel like I had a choice."

"You know," she continued, "I felt my job was on the line."

He told me a similar story only in his case it had to do with a medical treatment he had questions about…

What do ya say?

Ever find yourself reacting like this in a situation where you felt someone else held all the power?

How did you handle it?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SOMETIMES IT'S FEAR

We often fall into a victim state when bad things happen.

It's an easy default position and often indicates our anger about feeling out of control.

BUT

Sometimes it is also a 'cover' for fear about what is happening that is causing us to feel like a victim.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

When you feel like a victim - and yes - sooner or later we all do feel this way - try the following:

1)  Make a list of 3 things about what is going on that makes you angry.

Imagine stomping and yelling and kicking and throwing a good sized fit as a way to dispel some of that anger.

2)  Now ask yourself what you might be frightened about in the current situation.

Make a list of these fears.

3)  Finally, create a soothing inner voice that walks you through these fears and promises to stand by you with inner support!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

WHO'S AFRAID?

A very wise Dad, who had been a navigator in World War II, was trying to teach his child about the value of fear…

"During the War," he said, "the one type of pilot we all dreaded having to fly with was the guy who never experienced fear."

"That was the one," he continued, "who would get you killed!"

What do ya say?You get this, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?

Sometimes it actually seems as if people are treasuring their anger and resentments… even those going back pretty far in time.

Like broody hens,they sit on these memories and nurture them  recounting and recollecting each moment of annoyance…

Ever wonder what the hook is?  Why would a person want to revisit a negative experience?

Seems counter-intuitive, right?

DANCE WITH IT!   

EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

WHAT'S THE HOOK?

See if any of these feelings fit for you…

1)  FEAR: If I let it go and forget, it might happen again… if I hold on, I stay protected.

2)  CONFUSION: I need to figure it out!

3)  SENSE OF POWER: I won't let them get away with it! 

4)  HELPLESSNESS: By remembering the 'wrong' I am not letting them get away with it!

5)  PUNISHMENT: They deserve these bad thoughts!

To paraphrase that great quote from the Dalai Lama:  Throw away the experience, hold onto the lesson!

FEAR AND FLYING…

Once upon a time a dad told his young daughter a story about his days flying during WWII.

He wanted to teach her about accepting and honoring human feelings.

He explained that most people experienced fear and as a matter of fact, the one type of pilot that flight crews were always nervous about going up with were the ones who claimed never to be afraid…

What do ya say?

You get this, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING

Fear in humans is an emotional and physiological response to the perception of loss of control.  It is a biological warning signal – an alert – about perceived danger.

These perceived threats can be physical or psychological.

When this state is triggered our bodies release hormones – epinephrine, norepinephrine, and cortisol which increase our level of alertness and thus prepare us to react to the danger.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...


Here are three helpful steps to take in dealing with fear:

1)      Ask yourself if the perceived threat is physical or psychological.

(Physical harm can cause injury - psychological harm can cause a risk to our self perception.)

2)      Now ask yourself what is actually at risk.

3)     Use the physiological effects of your fear to help you deal with the situation.

One and two are self explanatory.  Let’s talk about #3. 

Remember all those hormones that get dumped into our bodies when we experience fear?  Our heartbeat increases, our breathing deepens, our visual acuity can improve.  We can feel more alert and stronger. 

So how can we optimize and use all of this? 

Holding our breath, an old pattern from many of our childhoods, is only going to get in the way!    In reality the opposite reaction optimizes our power. 

Breathe deeply and experience this heightened sense of awareness.  Actually feel the energy moving through your body – perhaps in the form of a tingling sensation.

Remind yourself that these sensations are a gift ...

After all – isn’t this what excitement feels like?

Check it out and let us know…

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SCARED?

My father often said that during WWII the only pilots the aircraft crews were really worried about flying with were the ones who were never afraid…

He was trying to teach his young children a very significant life lesson:

It is human and important to allow yourself to experience fear!

Unfortunately, “Don’t be afraid!” is a constant mantra during our upbringing.

Why?

Why shouldn’t we be afraid of trying something new?  New things are by definition scary!

Learning to ride a bike?  Scary!

Jumping into a swimming pool?  Scary!

Getting onto a big horse? Scary! 

Singing in front of an audience?  Scary!

And doesn’t it really make sense to be afraid of the dark?

A famous actor once said that the only performances he knew he’d bomb were the ones when he felt no stage fright…

The more we accept fear as just another in our range of emotions, the more we can use the physiological changes that come with it to our advantage!

Fear is one of the very human emotions that takes us from here to there…


TOMORROW:  TRANSFORMING FEAR...

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