SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TCOY*

*Taking care of yourself…

When expectations are not in line with reality, we suffer!

This is a no-brainer.

In order not to set yourself up in this way, it's important to pay attention to who you are dealing with and what they can actually give you in any particular moment.

Sometimes we get confused because we see someone give something to someone else and assume that it is there for us also.

Or,they actually have given it to us before, but don't do it now…

All of this requires awareness on our part- rememebering that there is BIG difference between what we desire and what someone else may be capable of providing!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

'TCOY' STRATEGIES

Understand who the other person is and what they can actually offer in this moment.

This might be different then what they give someone else or have given you in the past.

Pay attention to this moment in time.  What do you need right now and who might be able to help you with it?

Watch out for anger - yours and other peoples.  Leaving yourself open to jabs from others - or jabbing them - because you want something you are not getting is not okay!

Find a way to ask for what you need - indirect is okay only if the message is getting through.

HOLIDAY CHEER…

"Agg!"  she moaned as she staggered into the room…

Ok, a little exaggerated here, but she was groaning…

"Thanksgiving," she whinned, " was… was… OMG!  I don't even know what to say!  And it was only day 1 of the 'Holiday Season'!"

So, seriously, is this really the 'most wonderful time of the year'?

CHECK IT OUT 

EXPECTATIONS: 

Harmony and Understanding

Love and Peace

Good will to men

Perfect presents

Perfect food

Perfect conversations…

REALITY:

Stress

Competition

Insults

Over eating

Exhaustion

Depression…

 WHOOPS...

What do ya say?   
Can you see that crash coming, or what…

TWISTED EXPECTATIONS…

"It got me really angry!" he stated categorically.

"I know that guy was trying to take advantage of me!"

And then there was this lady who said:

"My feelings are so hurt!  After everything I've done for her she was so stingy with me!"

What's the common denominator?

Both of these people expected other people to be just like them!

Yeah, the first guy was a person who always tried to get his way and the lady was indeed a very generous soul, but they both got busted by the same flaw …

 

They really did think everyone was just like them!

What do ya say?

Does this one fit for you?

Maybe… a little bit?

check out our down-loadable relaxation mini-meditations at 

WWW.THEHUMANDANCE.COM

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - REALITY CHECK

How many times have you heard - or said - "I really love him/her- if only they would…"

We all need and want dreams - they are the pots of gold at the end of the rainbow that keep us going - promising smiles and rewards for our journey's end.

However, and this is a big one - we also have to differentiate between NOW and THEN, between what's in front of us - reality - and what might one day be - fantasy!

And no, if you are reading this, you really can't be a horse when you grow up!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

TAKING DISAPPOINTMENT OUT OF THE EQUATION BY SEEING THE REAL DEAL…

1)  Take inventory:  Who are you?  Who are they?  What is the situation?  RIGHT NOW?

2)  Call it like it is:  Can you tolerate the situation?

3)  If the answer is yes, great, if no:  find a way to extricate yourself. 

    

      The bullets don't stop because you want them to!

      DUCK AND GET OUT OF DODGE!

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To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

REALITY LET YOU DOWN?

"I don't really think I'm so out of line with my expectations… but geeze I keep being disappointed… family members, my boyfriend, my buddies, sooner or later they all let me down…" she was really bewildered with these outcomes.

"I'm a nice person but eventually - boom!  All the people in my life really act like …well… jerks!

What's wrong with this picture?

Might the expectation that things will go a certain way have something to do with our somewhat skewed beliefs about reality? 

What do ya say?

Were you one of those people who wanted to be a horse when you grew up?

You know what I'm saying, right?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

TELL IT LIKE IT IS!

"He was sooo mean to me," she wailed in a voice way more familiar in a 15 year old than a grown lady of 30 plus years.

What was she talking about?  Her ex-boyfriend, who she dumped, didn't want to help her move.

Mean?  Hmmmm…

And how about this one:

"My girlfriend," the 45 year old guy complained, "is acting so immature!"

Ok, guess how old the girlfriend was?

Try 23.  Immature?  Yup.  Acting just like a 23 year old.

Now what, you might ask, is the moral of this story?

'If it looks like a duck…'

Really, life is so much easier if our expectations are in line with reality!

What do ya say?

How many times have you been 'shocked' by someone acting in the most predictable manner?

COMING THIS SUNDAY - ANOTHER WONDERFUL 'OLD FRIENDS' POST.  CHECK IT OUT...

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – GAME CHANGING STRATEGIES

THINK ABOUT THIS ONE:  Bullying yourself by demanding perfection creates stuck places! 

By harshly judging your “performance” you automatically set yourself up for failure!

Bullies create Victims and Rebels . . . ever catch yourself saying:
“I can’t” “It’s too hard…” (yes, the voice of the Victim!)

Or:
“I won’t” (the famous Rebel cry!).





DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

How many times have you said:  “It’s just too hard!  I can’t do it!”

More than likely, those are times your expectations of your own performance have been too rigid.

“I can’t” is usually a hint that your internal Bully is pushing too hard!  (“I can’t “is very different from “I don’t want to!”)

What’s this Bully business?

Usually learned at a young age and built upon over the years, this internal ‘Voice’ is 
extremely critical, incessant and demanding.  

The standards of performance it requires tend to be unrealistic,

To identify your Bully Voice, think back over the last time you said, “I can’t”.

What was the situation?

Now step it back and check out where the probable demand was coming from.

Who was telling you, “You have to…”?

Was it actually the outside world, or perhaps an internal demand that set the level of expectations?

Who do you think you learned this demanding behavior from?

Can you make a mental image of your Bully?
How big is it?
What color?
Is it human?
How does its voice sound?
Have some fun with this one.

The more clearly identified this voice is, the easier it is to give yourself permission to stop listening to its unrealistic demands and return to a more natural, organic way of being on your game!

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