SUNDAY SMILES - GOT DIVERSITY?

This morning I got into a cab - yup, here we go again… another taxi tale…

Anyhow, when I told the driver where to go, he seemed confused, so I switched to Spanish.  

No, problema… 

He nodded his head happily and headed to the left  - wrong direction!

Turned out he only spoke French - and I'm dyslexic…

When we got it all sorted out he asked me - in French - why I was laughing so hard…

Can you say 'multi-culturally dyslexic' - in French?

What do ya say?

How diverse are you?


Winter is truly a time to celebrate diversity with all the different ways we humans welcome the winter holiday season!

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SUNDAY SMILES – TAXIS – AGAIN!

More taxi talk – sorry but in this city in they really are a great source of laughter…

So I got into this taxi and a loud beeping sound – I mean really loud – began to vibrate through the entire car…

“Seat belt?” I asked him.

“No, “he muttered.  “Something in dashboard…”

 

I was about to say, “No problem, as long as it doesn’t explode…”

Once upon a time that would have been funny, right?  These days not so much…

Although in this case it probably wouldn’t have mattered since the driver didn’t understand much English …

He did however, probably wonder what kind of a maniac he had in his cab since it was all I could do to keep my cackling down to a quiet roar as he kept glancing nervously into the rear view mirror…

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SUNDAY SMILES – A GUN?

Well, tonight was a doozy… I know, antique word, but nothing else quite says it!

I was in a taxi – a common NYC occurrence – one of those “It was a dark and stormy night…” beginnings.

Anyhow, another car tried to side-swipe our taxi and then this other guy stops his car – fancy Mercedes – and runs up to our taxi driver’s door and starts banging on it.

Guy #2 is acting really hysterical – jumping up and down – and – he has us blocked!

Much to my horror and to my squeals of “No, don’t do that!” our taxi driver opens his door and gets out.

After a very animated duet guy #2 zooms off into the night.

When our guy gets back into the cab I shake my finger and go into lecture mode.  I know, truly obnoxious on my part, but, hey, who could resist?

“You should never get out of the car to confront a maniac,” I scold.
“What if he had a gun?”

“A gun?” our guy responds without blinking an eye.
“Lady, I’m from Brooklyn…”





What do ya think?  Is this an exciting city or what?




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SUNDAY SMILES – OH MY ACHING BACK!

“Gas!” he declared.

“I bet it’s gas!”

I had just asked him to take it easy on the pot holes…

New York City’s avenues are infamous for these Third World (forgive me) ruts that could easily trap small animals…

And somehow, these very roads create a terrible desire on the part of our taxistas to hit the gas…

So, in self defense, I have developed a very credible and usually successful strategy of talking about my imaginary recent back injury.  It generally works…

And that’s where the gas comes in…

Tonight’s driver explained, in great detail, how when he had back pain it really wasn’t his back.  NO it was – GAS! 

Waaay too much information!

However, you know that thing about not being able to do two things at the same time?

Well, he couldn’t maintain his speed as he got into the complexities of his affliction and me?

I can only tell you that trying to control hysterical laughter has a great effect on back injuries…




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SUNDAY SMILES – THE COOPERATIVE LIFE –NYC STYLE

I guess the ‘package’ of invasive information necessary to even be considered to live in a co-op apartment in NYC should have clued me to the lurking dangers... 

And then there was the mandatory interview… 

The small torture chamber was rank with the sulfuric odor of perverted power that co-op boards enjoy.  

A police murder interrogation could not have been more brutal.  True, I wasn’t chained to a chair and I don’t think that there was a two-way mirror…

My tormentors seated me in the perfect ping-ping position, lobbing questions with the speed of torment (Oops!  I meant tournament) players.

“Who are your friends?  Do you listen to music?  Has your dog attended training?”

I mean give me a break!  What did they expect me to say?

“I have wild orgies, listen to ear shattering Metal and Hip-Hop, and about my dog, he might look like a fluffy poodle, but it’s really a disguise.  Underneath all that fluff lurks a vicious 200 pound Rottweiler.”

It takes a certain kind of person to ignore all the warning signs and lunge brazenly into the future?  New Yorkers are known for being brave…  Determined?  Try pig-headed!   

What do ya think?  Have any city stories to share?

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SUNDAY SMILES – TAXIII!

On my taxi ride home from work last night my Romanian driver sang me lullabies – in Romanian!  No I am not kidding.  (you can hear them too...)

New York City taxi drivers are amazing – one way or another…

Last week the taxi I had just put my groceries into took off without me!  As I stood gaping a second taxi cut cab #1 off at the pass. 

Driver #2 jumped out of his cab – blocking not only cab #1 but also all the other traffic zooming up First Avenue.

“What the hell are you doing?”  Number 2 roared at #1.  I missed a lot of the following dialog since it was shouted in several different languages all mushed together.

The final, “You moron!” was loud and clear.

Cabbie #2 rescued my groceries and backed down First Avenue skidding to a stop in front of me and accepting the cheers of the small crowd that had gathered with a happy grin.

See what I mean? 

Is this an amazing city or what?

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